


Mr. Blue Sky

by qualitystreet



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Escorts, F/M, M/M, Prostitution
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2018-12-07 00:08:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 83,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11611818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qualitystreet/pseuds/qualitystreet
Summary: Aaron has never even used a chat line before, but now he can't get this blond guy out of his head. He knows it's just about the money, but it feels like there's more and he's too weak to stop it, even if it is making him skint.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> There have been so many escorts in the show at this point, I couldn't get this AU out of my head. There's no good reason for the title, except that I've been listening to the Guardians of the Galaxy soundtrack a lot, and Mr. Blue Sky is the first track, so I've been calling it that in my head for a few weeks.

Aaron had never done anything like this before – he’d never even rung a chat line – but here he was, sitting on his bed with his phone in his sweaty hand, about to punch this number in. He’d rung it several times before, but always lost his nerve as soon as it was answered. He was determined not to bottle it this time.

After things had gone tits up with Ed, and all that with Adam, he’d come home with his tail between his legs, in trouble with the police, in trouble with his family. Donna had died and a kid was motherless, but he’d gone right back to his old life like nothing had ever happened. The only other gay in the village wasn’t exactly his type, though that hadn’t stopped him from sleeping with Finn, but it didn’t mean he wanted anything else. Finn was a nice lad, but he was soft and anxious in a way that set Aaron’s teeth on edge.

Still, Aaron was lonely, frustrated, and _bored_. He’d spent two years living with Ed, and even though it hadn’t ended well, he still missed the companionship, and the sex. He’d been to Bar West a couple of times and he never had much trouble picking guys up, but he didn’t want a quick fumble and he wasn’t sure he wanted to get into anything long term either. He just wanted all the nice parts with none of the commitment.

A guy he’d met at the bar had given him this number, said if he ever wanted something without strings, guaranteed. An escort agency. Aaron had scoffed at the idea at first, but he hadn’t thrown the card away and the thought of it had grown so large in his head that he couldn’t see past it. 

He held the phone tighter as it clicked through.

“Harewood Dating Agency,” a pleasant female voice said. He’d thrown by that the first couple of times, until he realised it was a cover.

“Er,” he murmured, and cleared his throat. “Yeah, I’d like to, uh, use your services…?”

“Of course,” she said. “Male or female?”

“Me?”

“For your date, love.”

He felt heat bloom in his cheeks. “Oh. Um, male.”

“All right. Do you have any preferences?”

“What, like small, medium, large?” he said, edging on hysterical.

She laughed a little. “Well, we do have bears and twinks.”

“Huh,” he squeaked, a high-pitched sound. The thought of going out with some Hercules looking bloke, while the occasional stuff of his fantasies, seemed way too attention-grabbing. “Uh, just average. Um. Lean.”

“Okay. Any preferences on race, age, hair colour?”

He swallowed. That sounded awful, like he was asking Marlon to make him some kind of custom dish. “Uh, not older than… thirty five. Definitely not younger than twenty. Between twenty and thirty five? I’m good with… the other stuff.”

“Okay,” she said, and paused for a moment, the sound of a keyboard clacking in the background. “What kind of things are you looking to do on your date?”

“Er… just something nice,” he mumbled. “A meal.”

“All right,” she said, “I think I have someone in mind. Are you looking for the full package?”

He almost asked what the full package was before he got the idea. Was he looking to pay over the odds for a date or did he want to go head first into full on prostitution? 

The woman laughed softly again. “I’ll put you down as ‘undecided’. Now, how this works is I’m going to pass your number onto your date and he’ll get in touch. Your number’s come up here on my caller ID. Your membership fee is £300, you’ll pay on the day. Do you want to go ahead?”

“Aaron!” his mum called from downstairs, and he almost threw his phone across the room with fright.

“Yeah, yeah,” he said. “I do, I--” Mum called again and he bit his lip. “Is that everything?”

“That’s everything,” the woman said, her tone light and amused.

He ended the call with a sigh of relief and leant back against his pillows.

“Aaron!”

“I heard you the first time!” he yelled back.

\- 

He was getting ready for bed, gone midnight, when his phone buzzed on the bedside table.

_Hi, this is Robert. I’ve been referred to you. Can I get your name?_

Aaron stared at it for a second, in faint horror, then picked up his phone carefully, like it was going to blow up in his hand.

**aaron**

The phone buzzed again a second later.

_Great! There’s a restaurant in Manchester I know. Unless there’s somewhere you want to go?_

Manchester was a bit of a drive, but less chance of him running into anyone he knew. **no that sounds fine**

Robert sent him a link to the restaurant’s website a second later, followed by another message. _When do you want to go?_

Aaron sat with that for a while, turning it over in his head. If he made firm plans about this, he’d have to go – for all he knew this guy would take exception to being stood up and not getting paid and start harassing him. Nothing Aaron couldn’t handle, but still wildly embarrassing if it got out. Which it would, because he couldn’t have a wank without half the village knowing about it.

It took him at least fifteen minutes to get the courage to text back – as quick as Robert was with replies, he hadn’t prodded Aaron at all.

 **friday 6pm?** It was the early hours of Monday morning now, so that gave him the week to agonise over this to its fullest extent. The phone predictably buzzed in his hand again.

_OK. I’ll be in a paisley shirt and leather jacket. Unless you have any requests._

Aaron squirmed a little. **no requests. i’ll be in jeans, white t-shirt, brown jacket**

 _See you then!_ Robert texted back cheerfully. 

Aaron threw his phone back on the table and covered his face with his hands. What a saddo.

-

The week raced by. Robert didn’t text again, but Aaron read the messages he’d sent multiple times. The restaurant was part of a hotel, which Aaron assumed was on purpose – he was ‘undecided’, after all. It looked fairly pricey, on top of the £300 he’d be forking out, but between the garage and living rent free at the pub, he had some spending money; not much after this trip, but enough to get by. He had to google what paisley was, because he couldn’t get an image of the pattern in his mind. It was a poncy looking design he’d never be caught dead in. He did a bit of research too, and realised that ‘Robert’ was probably a fake name and that he should have used one too.

Friday arrived quicker than it had any need to and he took off work early, despite Debbie’s complaints. He told his mum that he was going to Manchester to see friends and might not be back till morning.

“Which friends?” she asked across the bar as he fiddled with his backpack. He wasn’t sure what he’d need, but he’d packed a change of clothes and some condoms.

“Friends,” he repeated.

She raised a disbelieving eyebrow and he sighed, swinging the bag over his shoulder. “Adam isn’t my only friend,” he said, although, really, he was.

“Are you going on the pull?” Mum said, grinning at him as he groaned and walked away. “Good luck!”

He arrived half an hour early because he’d been worried about the traffic and generally wanted to get it over with. He regretted the time he’d chosen, now; it made him seem like some old dear who needed to have their tea in time for _Coronation Street_. 

He parked across the road from the hotel, a trendy looking place that he probably wasn’t dressed for, and waited, listening to awful pop music on Capital FM. He probably looked like he was casing the joint, the way he was watching the street, but no one came over to move him on.

At five to six, a guy strolled past the car in sunglasses, earbuds in, looking down at his phone. It was a nice, reasonably bright day, but it was still October in the north and the guy looked like a bit of a wanker in them. He crossed the road, hardly looking up from his phone at all, and went towards the hotel, turning on his heel to lean against the wall. He had slightly shaggy blond hair – proper blond, not light brown – and was wearing black trousers, a black leather jacket, and a crazily patterned shirt. Aaron heart thumped against his chest; that was him, Robert.

The minutes ticked by and Robert hardly moved a muscle, engrossed in his phone. The clock on the dashboard went six and anxiety flushed through Aaron anew. He could drive away right now and hope for the best, not risk this being some kind of sting or whatever. Robert didn’t look like a cop, though, and Aaron knew enough of them.

He was going to look like a bit of a creep, hopping out of the car after sitting here for so long. He cast another look at Robert, who still hadn’t looked up from his phone, and opened the car door carefully, as quietly as possible. He had his wallet in his back pocket and six fifties in the pocket of his hoodie, leaving his backpack stuffed under the front seat. This place didn’t look like somewhere you walked into with a raggedy bag over your shoulder.

He closed the door gently and locked the car, then moved out from behind it to an open part of the pavement and stepped off the kerb. The traffic was reasonably heavy, so he waited for a break in it to cross. Robert finally lifted his head and looked up and down the street quickly. 

Jeans and a t-shirt were hardly the most unique outfit, so Aaron didn’t expect to be spotted, but maybe he’d been staring too hard, because Robert looked at him dead on and pushed his sunglasses down his nose. He looked like all of those fit bad guys in American eighties movies his mum liked so much. Aaron had never been so openly checked out, and looked away at the force of it, conveniently as the traffic slowed and he was able to dart across the road.

Robert pushed his sunglasses into his hair, revealing a slim, slightly soft face, and tugged his earbuds out one at a time, his eyes still fixed on Aaron. Aaron almost faltered, the thought of spinning around and taking off growing large in his mind, but straightened his back instead and walked the couple of feet over to his brand new escort.

“Aaron?” the man said.

Aaron cleared his throat and nodded. “Robert.”

Robert looked him up and down again. “You’re younger than I thought you’d be.”

“And?”

A wide smile spread across Robert’s face and he shook his head. “And nothing.” He held out his hand to shake Aaron’s and when Aaron took it, he reeled him in and murmured, “Money,” in his ear.

Aaron fumbled it out of his pocket and pressed it into Robert’s other hand. Robert thumbed through it quickly, the two of them still pressed almost chest to chest, then slipped it into an inside pocket of his jacket and let Aaron go. Aaron took a step back in surprise and Robert leaned back against the wall, still smiling like he could eat Aaron alive.

“So, how this works,” he said, “is you’ve got me for two hours, hundred per hour after that, fifty more for extras. You pick up the tab here. No surnames. You can tell me whatever you want, make it up, whatever, but I’m not going to tell you where I live or my NI number or anything like that.”

Aaron thought it over for a moment. “Make it up?” he repeated.

“A lot do,” Robert said. “I’ve had more than a few James Bonds and Angelina Jolies.”

Angelina Jolies? Aaron had just assumed that Robert would actually be gay, but maybe he was, like, gay for pay?

Robert tapped him on the arm. “Don’t look so nervous, we’re gonna have fun.”

“Yeah,” Aaron said, shaking himself a little. He was here, kind of hard to back out now. He turned towards the hotel entrance. “Should we go in?”

“Sounds good,” Robert said, and pushed himself away from the wall. They walked up the steps together and the doorman nodded to Robert in a way that made it obvious he’d been here before. 

The foyer was wide and lit by chandeliers as nice as the ones up at Home Farm, not that Aaron had managed to get in there that many times. To the right was the check in desk, straight ahead was a hallway with lifts along the sides, and to the left was an archway, which Robert headed straight towards. There were clusters of chairs with coffee tables where men and women in suits were sitting, drinking coffee or from wine glasses. No one gave him a second look, despite the hoodie.

“Did you book a table?” Robert asked at the entrance to the restaurant.

“No,” Aaron said, and glanced around. The place looked pretty full. “Was I meant to?”

“It’s all right,” Robert said. He approached the guy on the desk – the maître d', Aaron remembered Marlon calling them – and took his sunglasses from his hair, tucking them between the buttons of his shirt. “Table for two, please.”

“We’re fully booked, I’m afraid, sir,” the man replied.

“Are you?” Robert said, and rested his elbow on the table. He looked the man up and down, not as intensely as he had Aaron but still pretty openly. Aaron tried not to look too out of place standing beside him. “Not a single one?”

“Well...” The man looked down at his reservation book and tapped his fingers on the page. Robert was watching him with slightly hooded eyes and the man glanced up and back down again. “There is one table, near the kitchen.”

Robert looked at Aaron, his eyebrows raised in question. Aaron shrugged.

“Get the food quicker,” he said.

Robert laughed, looking almost surprised, and turned back. “That’ll be fine.”

They were led through the full restaurant, filled with all sorts of corporate types, to the back, where there was a table tucked away near the kitchen door. It was noticeably hotter, the heat drifting over from the ovens, but Aaron didn’t mind. The guy offered to take their coats, but Robert turned it down and Aaron followed suit.

A waiter came over as soon as the maître d' had left, and handed them menus. “Are you ready to order drinks?”

“Glass of white,” Robert said, off the cuff. The waiter stared hard at him for a moment before writing it on his pad and turning to Aaron.

“And for sir?”

Robert looked at the back of the waiter’s head, his expression hard.

“Sprite,” Aaron said, “I’m driving.”

The waiter wrote that down as well and looked between the two of them. “Is this attached to a room number?” 

Aaron guessed it was a reasonable question, but the way he said it made it sound like some kind of accusation. Robert smiled coldly.

“No, just the drinks, _thanks_ ,” Robert said, then looked down at his menu in dismissal. 

The waiter stayed a moment longer, then walked away without a word.

“Did he…?” Aaron murmured.

Robert shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. We’re not doing anything illegal.”

 _Yet_ , Aaron thought to himself. He looked down at the menu and tried not to cringe too much. These were not Emmerdale prices.

“Do you want to talk?” Robert asked, the hardness gone from his face, all smiles again.

“Okay. I… this is my first time, doing this.”

Robert nodded, still smiling, looking amused. Yeah, it was pretty obvious this was his first time.

“I just came back from France, broke up with my boyfriend. I guess I’m pretty… bored, being back.” He almost said lonely, but that felt like too big an admission to this complete stranger he was paying to be nice to him. 

“I used to live in Spain,” Robert offered. Aaron wondered if that was true or just a story for his clients.

“Do you miss it?”

Robert looked away for a second, then tipped his head. “Yeah, I do, but it was time to move on. Do you miss France?”

“A little. I was pretty cack-handed with my French, though, so it wasn’t that easy to get around.”

“They love us with our primary school French, eh?” Robert said. “I lived in one of those expat communities. Locals hated us.”

Aaron laughed a little, but couldn’t think of anything else to say. Robert was looking at him like he was the only person in the restaurant, and he met his gaze with as much confidence as he could muster.

“So, what do you do for work?” Robert asked.

“I’m a mechanic.”

Robert raised an eyebrow. “I bet you look great in the overalls.”

Aaron pressed his tongue to the back of his teeth. “I do okay.”

“I used to be a mechanic. Wasn’t very good at it, though.”

“Yeah? How did you look in your overalls?”

Robert tipped his head to the side as the waiter approached with their drinks. “Never had any complaints,” he said, picking up the glass put in front of him and taking a sip all without letting his gaze leave Aaron.

“Are you ready to order?”

“Give us a minute,” Robert said, still without looking at him. The waiter huffed slightly and walked away. Finally Robert broke his gaze, looking down at his menu and Aaron did the same.

He twitched again, getting a closer look at the prices. There were thirty quid steaks on here and he only had a couple hundred left in his current account. God, he had not thought this through at all. He risked a glance at Robert, who was looking at his own menu with disinterest. He obviously had expensive taste and Aaron would feel like a right idiot asking him to get a salad (which was already more expensive than some leaves in a bowl needed to be).

When the waiter returned, Aaron ordered first, their cheapest burger and held his breath for Robert, but Robert asked for one of their pasta dishes, which was only £12. Aaron tried not to sigh too openly, but Robert still smiled at him like he could read his mind.

After the initial awkwardness wore off, he found that it was easy to talk to Robert; he was funny and sarcastic, a little pretentious, and made Aaron’s hard beat a little faster every time he gave him that look through his eyelashes. He’d been living in London before this, he said, and Aaron chose to believe that he wasn’t lying. They talked about films and music and how rubbish the Metrolink was, and Aaron thought he was from Yorkshire, the way Robert’s accent thickened sometimes, though he didn’t ask. Aaron didn’t say where he was from either, or where he lived.

When the waiter came back with the dessert menu, Robert waved him off and suggested they get the bill instead. Aaron left a good tip and Robert stood up, stepping over to Aaron’s chair and looking down at him. He had really long legs.

“I need to use the bathroom,” he said.

“Okay,” Aaron replied.

Robert leant his hip against the table and tapped his fingers on the arm of Aaron’s chair. He didn’t say anything, but Aaron twigged a second later.

“Yeah,” he said, scraping his chair back. “Me too.”

Robert led him to a bathroom deeper in the hotel, in a quieter area. It was spacious, with wide stalls and only one other guy inside, at the sinks. Robert went into one of the stalls and tipped his head towards the urinal. Aaron wandered over and dithered by it until the guy finished washing his hands and left.

When the door swung shut behind him, Aaron looked towards the occupied stall. It wasn’t the first time he’d had a fuck in the gent’s, but all those other times he’d been drunk and hadn’t been paying. 

Robert whistled. Aaron pushed his shoulders back and followed him in.

“Hey,” Robert said, when Aaron stepped inside. He leant into him and pushed the door closed, pressing up close to Aaron as he latched it. He was a little taller than Aaron, so Aaron had to tip his head up, just in time for Robert to kiss him, thoroughly and soundly, one knee pressing between his legs.

Aaron groaned, the hard lines of Robert’s sunglasses digging into his chest. Robert took his liberties, sliding his hands up Aaron’s chest, but that was what he was paid to do and Aaron wasn’t complaining. He wrapped his hand around the back of Robert’s neck, his fingers brushing short hair, and resisted the urge to ride Robert’s knee – not yet, anyway. Robert slid one hand down the length of Aaron’s torso, then back up under his t-shirt, his palm cool against Aaron’s warm skin.

Outside the stall, the door creaked open and they both heard footsteps. Aaron’s heart dropped into his stomach. Robert stilled, though he kept his weight pressed against Aaron. Aaron held his breath while the guy hummed to himself, but Robert just smiled slyly, tipping his head to the side as piss hit ceramic. He spread his hand flat over Aaron’s heart and brushed his mouth against Aaron’s ear.

“Relax,” he murmured, hardly louder than a breath. That didn’t relax Aaron at all.

The pissing stopped, then footsteps and the sound of the door opening and closing again.

“Didn’t wash his hands,” Robert said. He rubbed Aaron’s chest a little. “Maybe we should move this upstairs.”

“Uh.” Aaron swallowed heavily. It was hard to think with Robert wrapped around him like this. “I don’t think I can do this.”

“Do what?”

“Pay for sex.” He grimaced a little. “Sorry.”

“You sure?” Robert said, lifting the hand not occupied with Aaron’s chest to his face, stroking his fingers over his cheek and down his neck.

“Yeah...” he said, then again, more firmly. “Yeah. Sorry.”

Robert pulled away, taking a whole step back. “That’s fine,” he said, though his voice and his eyes had gone flat. He straightened his shirt and patted his hair down while Aaron tried to sort out the discomfort in his trousers; not very successfully, mind.

Once he’d done his best, he unlocked the toilet door and stepped out, followed by Robert. He didn’t know what to say as they exited to bathroom, but thought he should offer to drop Robert somewhere.

“I’m going to stay here,” Robert said, gesturing towards the bar nearby. Stay and pick up some extra work, Aaron guessed.

“Okay.” Aaron stuffed his hands in his pockets and hunched his shoulders a little. “Sorry again.”

“Yeah,” Robert said tonelessly and started towards the bar. Having clearly been dismissed, Aaron turned away without another word and made a beeline for the exit.

Once he was back in his car and pulling out into traffic, he knew that his mum was going to peck his head about coming home so early, but all he could really think about was the feel of Robert’s mouth on his.


	2. Chapter 2

It had just gone six am when Robert let himself back into his flat, sweaty and sticky, a headache coming on from the music in the club. The older guys always wanted to let it all hang out. He dug his knuckles into his eyes as he closed the door behind him and blinked, dazed, at the bright lights swimming in his vision.

“Rob.”

Robert waited a second for the disorientation to pass before looking at his flatmate. “Connor. I thought you’d be asleep.”

“Well, I’m not,” Connor said, looking up at him, face pinched. Robert couldn’t believe he’d once been so attracted to him. Connor acted like a nagging old grandma. Not Robert’s, though; Annie Sugden had always been good to him.

“Clearly.” He walked over to their tiny kitchen area and picked up a clean glass, shoving it under the tap. It was hard to hold it straight with the amount of washing piled up in the sink, but he got enough water in it, and drank it all in one go.

“Rent was due a week ago,” Connor said. “And the gas and electric.”

“Right.”

Connor stood up, his fussy ginger hair quivering irritably. That was unfair of Robert, though, he was quite jealous of that quiff. “I paid it all. I need your half.”

“How much?”

“£400.”

Robert sighed. That was more than half of the money he’d got tonight. “Fine,” he muttered and fished his wallet out of back pocket. It was like a physical pain, taking all those fifties out and handing them over, but it was better than the constant nagging he’d get otherwise.

Connor snatched it from his hand and ran his finger along Robert’s wrist, where glitter smeared along his skin. He could have throttled whichever bright spark had decided to glitter bomb the dance floor; he’d be clogging up the drain for days with this shit.

“I thought after you got your sugar mummy on the hook, you wouldn’t have any trouble paying your bills.”

Robert shrugged and turned to the fridge. It was a good thing he’d eaten already, because all they had in there was a couple of slices of bread, a nasty looking tray of butter, and some manky ham. Connor snorted derisively behind him and walked away, his bedroom door slamming a minute later. 

Robert closed the fridge door and leant against it, pulling his phone out. His clients expected all his attention to be focused on them when they were together, so this was the first time he’d checked his messages since the previous afternoon. It looked like he had ten from Connor – no prizes for guessing what that was about – one from Vic on at him again about Andy’s wedding and one from the guy he’d seen last week, Aaron. He’d programmed his name in when they first texted and hadn’t got around to removing it.

He hadn’t expected to hear from him again, their meeting was obviously baby’s first prostitute and Aaron couldn’t have had any trouble picking men up wherever he went. He couldn’t have been much over twenty five, definitely Robert’s youngest client. It was a mistake to suggest the hotel, he’d known it was out of Aaron’s price range as soon as he clocked him, and if he’d taken him to a bar or a pub that he hadn’t been to with a dozen clients before, there wouldn’t have been any question that they were on a date. 

He opened the text and smiled. _want to go out again?_

**Tonight? I know a bar,** he replied. Aaron didn’t seem like the clubbing type and he thought maybe he needed to be a little less intimidating to make the sale. He’d been pretty disappointed when Aaron had lost his nerve, it wasn’t often he got go with someone he was attracted to. 

Aaron had texted in the evening, so he didn’t expect to hear back for a while. He put with phone back in his pocket and headed to the bathroom. Deglittering and some sleep would set him right.

-

He dressed casually, jeans, blue shirt. He used to do the whole _Queer as Folk_ look for a night out, but he felt a little old to be dressing like a fifteen year old. He felt a little old for all of this and he hadn’t even hit thirty yet.

He took the tram over and went in early, setting himself up at the bar. He’d been here before, but only with Connor, back when that was something they did, and no one looked at him funny. Aaron arrived not long after, looking a little on edge. He slipped the money into Robert’s hand as Robert pulled him close for a friendly hug.

“Hey,” Aaron said, slightly breathless as he sat down.

Robert smiled, letting his gaze wander; Aaron seemed to like that last time. “Hi. How are you?”

“I’m good,” Aaron said, and ran his palms down his legs in a nervous action that just drew Robert’s attention to his thighs. “You?”

“Can’t complain.”

“You two ready to order?” the barman called.

“Coke,” Aaron called back.

“Make that two,” Robert added, to the barman’s displeasure. Teetotal at the bar was never a good look. He was glad Aaron made it easy on him, though; he was strictly one and done on his dates. Sometimes his clients would get funny about him not drinking and he’d have to discreetly tell the bartender for a rum and coke, hold the rum; sometimes him getting drunk was part of the fun for them. He was good at playing drunk, but he never let his guard down.

“Driving?” he asked Aaron.

“Yeah. Don’t need to give them a reason to bang me up.” He paused, his eyebrows twitching slightly like he hadn’t meant to say that.

“You’ve been inside?”

Aaron shrugged uncomfortably. “Suspended sentence.”

“I’ve got pretty close a couple of times too,” Robert said, and glanced up as the barman plonked their glasses down.

“For--” Aaron looked a little shifty for a moment.

Robert smiled. “No, just youthful indiscretions.” Like the deaths of two people; you know, _indiscretions_. He picked up the glass and gestured to a booth. “Wanna sit?”

“Yeah,” Aaron said, and followed him over, sitting down across from Robert in the small booth. “How was your week?”

“Good.” Small talk was mind-numbing but he’d always had the gift of the gab, knew how to guide a conversation. Aaron didn’t seem like the type to be swayed by fancy words, though. The direct approach seemed more his style. Robert stretched his foot out under the table and ran it up the inside of Aaron’s calf, up to just above his knee. Aaron jolted a little, but met Robert’s gaze without wavering. “Yours?” Robert added with a smile.

“Can’t complain,” Aaron said, his voice dipping lower. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” Robert said, taking a sip from his glass, leaving his foot pressed against Aaron’s leg.

“Last time you said that you had dates with women, too. Are you…?”

Robert tried to keep his face neutral. That was a slip, last time, referring to men and women. Most times, clients didn’t want to hear about bisexuality; women liked their men straight and men liked their men gay, and as always, Robert was all things to all people. Him being bisexual made them feel inferior, somehow, or got them thinking about STDs or a host of other things. It was better to keep it simple, leave the fantasy untainted.

“I’m bi,” he said and watched Aaron’s face.

Aaron frowned for a second, a fleeting expression. “Okay. So...”

“I go with both.”

“And you like it?”

It had been a long time since he’d really enjoyed having sex. Sex was neutral, not good or bad, just a function of his body, ready to be exploited. “Yeah.”

“All right,” Aaron said. He didn’t look all right with it, but he didn’t say anything stupid, about threesomes and that – those were extra. 

“Seen any good films?” Robert asked.

The bar got busy as they talked, yuppies in suits and work casual trousers and shirts and dresses, spilling out onto the pavement, their smoke drifting in from the propped open double doors. Robert used to be one of them, wanking around in Soho pubs in a suit he’d spent two weeks’ wages on, smoking till his throat was raw, doing the occasional line of coke off a bathroom sink. If anything, Robert was more healthy now than when he was working a job in a good respectable office, separating people from their money without even the promise of sex in return. Fags and drugs cost too much these days.

A group of women in their glad rags took up residence at a table nearby, quickly blanketing it in an array of drinks of all different sizes. One of them, a blonde in a red dress, shot glances at Aaron. She was cute, someone Robert probably – definitely – would try to pick up if he was on his own. Not that she had eyes for him, though, and from her angle she couldn’t see that he’d been rubbing Aaron’s leg with his foot intermittently since they got there.

He lifted his foot higher, pressing in just below Aaron’s dick. Aaron jolted a little, his mouth dropping open.

“Get your coat, you’ve pulled,” Robert said.

“What?” Aaron said, frowning.

Robert jerked his head towards the table. “Woman over there’s been checking you out for the last fifteen minutes.”

Aaron’s expression was sceptical, but he looked over, and she waved back. He nodded in acknowledgement and turned back to Robert, laughing slightly.

“Poor love, she thinks she’s in with a chance,” Robert said.

Aaron smiled. “She’d be pretty let down if we did go out.”

Robert watched him for a moment, then looked at her and back. He slid out of the booth and grabbed his jacket as Aaron looked at him questioningly. The blonde’s friends were talking quickly, reckoning Robert and Aaron were going to come over, he assumed. He rested his hip against the table and leant down to Aaron, sliding his hand around Aaron’s cheek. Aaron huffed a little and his eyes slid shut easily in the moments before Robert kissed him. Robert made it a real good one, his fingers caressing Aaron’s stubble, his mouth slanted at an angle, his tongue playing along Aaron’s. Aaron grunted a little, one hand coming up and pressing into Robert’s hair, twisting. Robert was taken by surprise at his own grunt in response, and kept going for another few seconds before pulling away. Aaron tried to follow, but Robert took his hand instead.

“Let’s get out of here.”

Aaron nodded wordlessly and got up without any further encouragement.

At the table, the blonde had turned her head away in embarrassment and her friends were laughing the way you did when you were drunk and your mate failed so spectacularly to pull. Robert winked at them as he passed and they fell into new peals of laughter.

He took Aaron to a divey hotel, one of those pay-by-the-hour places with a sleazy neon sign. It had been a while since Robert had been to a place like this, his usual clientèle had more expensive taste, but it was cheap and he really wanted to close this deal with Aaron. He hated the way the guy at the desk looked at them, but he pushed it to the back of his mind as Aaron dipped his hand underneath Robert’s shirt, skin hot and wanting.

They grappled with each other at the door, hands roaming everywhere. Robert spun him around as they got through the door, pushing him up against it, slamming it shut with the force. He shoved his hands up Aaron’s t-shirt, pressing his mouth to Aaron’s neck, while Aaron got his hands under his jacket, pushing it down to his elbows. Robert pulled away for a second to shrug out of it altogether, letting it drop to the floor before he pressed back in, spreading one palm out on the door by Aaron’s head.

“Top or bottom?” he said.

Aaron looked back at him and licked his lips. “Bottom.”

Robert lift an eyebrow and backed up, bending down to retrieve his jacket, where he had a pack of condoms and a tube of lube secreted away. “Bed,” he said, not a question, and gestured to it. Aaron moved over as Robert opened the box. “I’m clean, by the way. I’ve got the paperwork in my wallet.” An STI screening every three months at the sexual health clinic saw to that, and the doctors there had long since pegged him as ‘at risk’. He definitely loved being questioned about his drug habits every time he went.

“Oh, yeah,” Aaron said, blinking up at him like the issue hadn’t occurred to him. Maybe it hadn’t. “I’m clean too. I mean, it’s been a while since I’ve been to the doctor, but...”

“It’s fine.” He came over to the bed with the condom wrapper held between his fingers and the lube in his other hand and knelt down in front of Aaron with one knee between his legs. Aaron tipped his head back and they kissed again, the condom and lube tossed onto the covers. Aaron was bold now, unbuttoning Robert’s shirt with practised flicks of his fingers until it fell open and the cool air of – minimally heated – room hit Robert’s stomach. He pressed in closer, pawing at Aaron’s t-shirt again, but met with resistance when he tried to pull it up. He let his hands drop to Aaron’s thighs and pushed them apart more before leaning back.

“Lie down,” he said, and took his shirt off, then moved to his belt buckle, as Aaron did the same. They stripped off their jeans, though only Robert ended up naked as the day he was born. It was a shame; Aaron was a little shorter than him, but broader across the chest and, Robert imagined, far more muscular.

“I guess I should...” Aaron muttered, his wallet in hand. His eyes were on Robert’s half hard dick, but he still took out some notes and handed them over.

“Thanks,” Robert said, tossing the money on top of his discarded clothes. Kind of a mood killer. Not that that should matter to him.

He rolled the condom on and got back on the bed, covering Aaron’s body. Aaron lifted his hips, tugging his boxers down and Robert reached down, wrapping his hand around Aaron’s already impressive erection. Aaron jerked up in his grip and groaned a little.

“Got anything particular in mind?” Robert asked.

“Just how it comes,” Aaron said, then cracked up, his face creasing with laughter.

“So to speak, eh?” Robert murmured and pressed his mouth to Aaron’s neck. Aaron gasped – half laughter, half moan – and nodded. 

He continued to make very pleasing sounds as Robert coated his fingers in lube and got down to work, enough to get Robert rutting against his thigh for a moment before he got himself under control. This wasn’t how it worked, Robert chasing his own pleasure. He pulled his fingers out and wrapped his hand around Aaron’s leg, hiking it up around his hip and tipping Aaron for a better angle.

Aaron’s groan of pleasure was guttural when Robert pressed into him, rolling his head back against the pillow, his neck bared. Robert wanted to bite the skin there, but focused on finding a rhythm, holding Aaron close as he rolled his hips. He wrapped his fingers around Aaron’s dick.

Aaron got progressively louder as Robert kept up the rhythm, his hips twitching up every time Robert tightened his grip on his dick. He wasn’t going to last long, Robert could tell from the blush on his cheeks and the pre-come leaking down his dick and coating Robert’s fingers. He had been teasing Aaron the entire time at the bar, so it was understandable that he was on a bit of a hair trigger now.

Aaron came a minute later, making little cut off sounds at the back of his throat. Robert gripped his hip and slowed, working Aaron through the last of his orgasm until the taut lines of Aaron’s body relaxed into the mattress.

Robert was still rock hard, resisting the urge to move, to the point that his toes curled. He normally timed it better than this, to get himself off at the same and not be left to wank in the bathroom. Most times, his clients didn’t want him to keep going once they were satisfied, unless they were into the whole over-stimulation thing. He pulled back, letting go of Aaron’s hip, and Aaron lifted his head, his fingers fluttering a little as he gestured to keep going.

“Your turn,” he mumbled, letting his head drop back again.

Robert watched him for a moment, the silence drawing attention to how hard his heart was beating, and slid forward again. Aaron grunted, quiet, and pushed his hips up.

Robert resettled on his knees, pressing in and moving faster, curling his body until he was bent over Aaron, his head almost touching Aaron’s chest. Aaron mumbled something he couldn’t make out and pressed a hand into his hair, tugging a little. The sensation made Robert shudder, his orgasm racing closer. He could feel it in the way his fingertips tingled as he gripped blindly at Aaron’s side, the movement of his hips jerky and erratic.

“Come on,” Aaron said, his voice growing stronger now. “Come on, come on.” 

His fingers tightened, knuckles massaging into Robert’s scalp, and Robert couldn’t stop the noises he made, groaning and whimpering like he hadn’t done in years. He scrabbled to hold on to Aaron’s leg, hiking it higher again, and came a moment later, his body pulsing with the force of it. He could feel it in his fingers and toes, and buried his face in Aaron’s t-shirt, shuddering uncontrollably. Aaron stroked his hair through it, until his orgasm passed and he felt wrung out, his body relaxing against Aaron’s, still inside him as his dick softened.

Sleep threatened to overwhelm him, warmth spreading through him. His eyelids were heavy as he forced them open; he wanted nothing more than to roll onto his side and fall asleep, but that wasn’t how this worked. Aaron wasn’t his boyfriend to cuddle with and his hour would be up soon.

He struggled up, pulling out of Aaron gently, and stumbled across the room to the bathroom, gathering his clothes as he went. He only managed to grab his boxers and trousers, but it was enough to be getting on with.

He did his usual routine, stripped off his condom, washed his hands, under his fingernails, took a piss, splashed water on his face to wake himself up. That last one wasn’t normally part of the routine, but normally he didn’t feel sated like this. He dressed in what he had and went back out, still a little unsteady on his feet, stooping to snag his shirt. Aaron was sitting up, the blanket gathered around his middle, though his legs were sprawled over the side of the bed.

“You have to go?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Robert said, and tried to bite back on the note of regret in his voice. He buttoned his shirt quickly. “You’ve got about half an hour before the guy downstairs comes up and starts harassing you for more money.”

Aaron nodded, and Robert picked up his jacket, collecting up the money strewn on top of it and stuffing it into his back pocket. He shrugged it on and came back to the bed for his condoms and lube. Aaron watched him approach with an expression that made Robert’s heart beat a little faster. He ducked on impulse and kissed him, sloppy and inelegant, then pulled back and grinned. Aaron smiled back, looking a little struck.

“Call me any time, yeah?” Robert said and hurried for the door before he said anything else.

The guy at the desk gave him another nasty look, but it hardly touched him as he strode past. Outside, it was chilly, close to midnight, and he hunched his shoulders, pulling his phone out of his jacket pocket.

He had half a dozen messages, nothing out of the ordinary, and one from Chrissie asking him to come to some sort of work do the following evening. He almost shot back, **little short notice, isn’t it?** , but an all evening work do like the kinds Chrissie went to would be an earner and he couldn’t afford to turn down a job. He texted asking what he should wear and picked up the pace, not wanting to miss the last tram home.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Canon typical mentions of self-harm and sexual abuse.

Aaron couldn’t stop thinking about Robert. It was ridiculous, this was Robert’s job, he probably told everyone to call him, why wouldn’t he? That didn’t stop Aaron, though; the sex had felt intimate, not weird or superficial on Robert’s part – and certainly not on Aaron’s. No one was that good an actor, he hoped.

He hadn’t seen Robert in a fortnight, though, being skint and all. Charity’s chop shop scheme was mad at best and liable to see him back in prison at worst but it was also fast cash. She’d said she thought he’d like to earn some extra cash, and the first thing he’d thought of Robert; she added on all that about Adam, but he was already sold. Enough money to pay for hotels and restaurants and all the extras, and if he was smart he could set aside some for Adam, too. He’d already saved up a wad of cash in the last week, enough to text Robert in the morning and ask if he was available.

He was on edge all day after that, waiting for a text back, his anxiety made worse by having to listen to Ross’s shit. He’d nicked a Mercedes from right outside Home Farm, owned by one of the various toffs Nicola was showing around the place – seemed like it was hard sell, economy being what it was.

“What about the tracking device?” he asked. The car was way too big of a risk, the owner would twig it was gone within half an hour or less and the cops would be in the village looking for it not much after that.

“Disabled, what d’you take me for?” Ross said, all bravado.

“An idiot, as demonstrated by your near arrest,” he said, and his phone chimed in his pocket. He pulled it out as Ross faffed about looking at the car. “Just hurry it up, okay?”

Robert had replied with, _Tonight?_ , and Aaron couldn’t help but smile, tapping out a quick reply. At least the last two weeks had given his face time to heal from when him and Ross battered each other and he wouldn’t have to explain the bruises.

“Oi,” Ross said, as Aaron hit send, and snatched the phone out of his hands. Aaron darted forward, smacking Ross’s hands, before elbowing him in the chest and wrenching the phone back. Ross grinned, moving back a step. “Hey, if I’d known you were on a promise… We’d better _chop chop_ , hadn’t we?”

He looked so pleased at his stupid pun, Aaron just shoved his phone in his pocket and went over to his toolbox. “Fine, come on, then.”

He chose a nice hotel, somewhere between the high end place of their first time and the flea pit from last time. Robert met him outside, in one of his fancy shirts and his leather jacket, despite the chill that had settled in the city. They kissed easily, like it was real, and went inside.

“It’s nice, this place,” Robert said. “Good choice.”

“You’ve been here before?”

Robert shrugged. “I’ve been to most nice hotels in Manchester.”

Aaron pushed down on the feeling of disappointment – he’d wanted to take Robert somewhere special, as if this was some kind of nice surprise and not a business transaction – and approached the front desk.

“I have a reservation for the night,” he said.

“Of course. Your name?”

Aaron glanced at Robert, who was leaning with his back against the counter top, watching the comings and goings of the foyer. No last names was the rule, but he’d had to give a card when he called up to reserve; the guy on the phone reluctantly said he could pay cash, but they still needed the card for security.

“Aaron Livesy,” he said.

The woman found him on the system after a moment and got a couple of key cards ready, then showed them up to their room on the tenth floor. Robert wandered off, not listening to all her explanations about the minibar and room service and the fitness centre’s opening hours. 

She left them to it after a few minutes and he closed the door behind her before turning to Robert, who was at the window, looking out.

“Great view of River Irwell,” he said.

Aaron came up beside him, brushing his arm against Robert’s, and gestured to the buildings beyond the river. “And that car dealership.”

Robert laughed a little and turned, kissing him in one smooth movement, his hand gripping Aaron’s side and drawing him close. It was a hard, unyielding kiss that made him breathless, the intensity of it. Aaron was used to always being the intense one in any given relationship, always stirring the pot, mouthing off, but Robert was intense in every word and action. Just a look felt heavy and even light conversation had layers to it. Aaron was sure that Robert could eat him alive, if he let him.

And he kind of wanted to.

When Robert released him, his gaze trailing down Aaron’s body, Aaron took the three hundred he had stashed in his pocket and gave it to him. Robert’s eyebrows twitched slightly, but he took the cash and put it in his back pocket.

“So, what do you want to do tonight?” he asked.

“I thought...” He hadn’t thought, really. It was just gone seven pm, and they had two hours, at least. “How about room service?”

“Room service is pricey, you know,” Robert said, and Aaron tried not to flush with embarrassment. He didn’t need reminding that Robert’s usual clients weren’t on a mechanic’s wage.

“I’ve got extra money coming in.”

Robert tipped his head. “All right. Yeah, I’ve only had a sandwich today.”

“Didn’t start your day off right, then?” 

“If you mean breakfast, I’m not normally awake to eat it,” Robert said. “To be honest, I only got up a couple of hours ago.”

Aaron tried not to think about what Robert did that kept him up all night and grabbed the menu off the bedside table. When the food came, the guy rolled it in on a table with silver lids covering all the plates, lifting them with a flourish to show them their chicken parm and hamburger. It all struck him as a bit funny, and he held his tongue until the guy was gone.

“This isn’t the kind of service you get on Contiki package holidays,” he said, and Robert laughed, picking up his plate.

“Or Butlins Bognor Regis,” he replied and sat down on the bed.

Aaron followed, sitting with his legs crossed against the pillows. “You’ve been there?”

“When I was a kid. Threw up on the helter skelter.”

Aaron smiled. “You don’t seem like the type.”

“Well, I was seven, so no one really asked my opinion on it. My mum took me, Dad had to stay on the farm.” He paused, his fork sliding through the sauce on his plate.

“Your dad’s a farmer?” Aaron couldn’t imagine Robert on a farm, breaking his back like Andy did at Butler’s, callusing his soft hands and dirtying his short, clean fingernails.

“He was...” he murmured, and glanced away.

Aaron shifted slightly, his plate wobbling on his knees. “Right.”

“What does your father do?”

Aaron had spent years learning to stop the instinctive flinch when Gordon was mentioned, to keep his face neutral, his breathing even, to stop his hands from curling up until his fingernails drew blood from his palm. He could manage it now, manage himself after all these years away from him, but Robert said he could anyone he wanted, here, behave however he wanted without fear of people talking behind their hands about him. Not a someone who assisted his boyfriend’s suicide, who tried to top himself for being gay, who was raped by his father and cut himself to strips to forget.

“I don’t want to talk about that,” he said.

Robert raised his eyebrows, a slightly amused look on his face like he was saying, _you started it_. Aaron dipped his head a little and laughed.

“Sorry.”

Robert smiled, his eyes crinkling up. “Tell me about living in France.”

When they had sex this time, Aaron swallowed his fear and undressed along with Robert – the first time had been quick and dirty, but it seemed strange now to make Robert strip bare while he kept everything on but his kecks. He pulled his top off and Robert looked at him, looked at his scars without embarrassment, then pulled him close, skin to skin, and kissed him.

Robert sucked him off, almost finishing it all before it started, then sat back. “You want me on my hands and knees, or…?”

Aaron didn’t want him like that, he wanted to see him, so Robert lay back, letting his legs fall open, his dick thick and red, and Aaron rolled on the condom Robert gave him.

Robert’s eyes fluttered shut as Aaron worked him open, his pale eyelashes falling to his cheeks, mouth dropping open. He arched slightly when Aaron pressed into him, opening his eyes long enough for Aaron to lean up as far as he could and kiss him, his mouth stumbling over his bottom lip and chin. He groaned as Aaron trailed lower, running his hands up and down his body, over his freckled arms and smooth chest.

He rolled his hips slowly, enjoying the soft noises Robert made, the blush that started on his cheeks and spread down to the middle of his chest. When he wrapped his hand around Robert’s dick, Robert tipped his head back against the pillow and groaned, clutching at Aaron’s arms. Neither could last long after that and Aaron felt heavy and sated as he lay back on the bed beside Robert, the heat from Robert’s skin adding to his own and making his skin prickle with sweat.

Robert got up after a few minutes, though it seemed a struggle and he weaved a little on his way to the bathroom. Aaron’s heart clenched at the thought that he was going to leave soon, but he knew he couldn’t afford to, like, pay him to stay all night and he smiled when Robert got dressed again and kissed him goodbye.

“I’ll text you in a couple of days, okay?” Aaron said as Robert reached the door.

Robert looked back over his shoulder and raised his eyebrows. “I’ll be waiting.”

Aaron wished that he really would be, as he lay back on the slightly damp bed in the fancy room he couldn’t really afford.

-

In December, Adam got out of prison and the chop shop went tits up, both of which limited the time Aaron could go down to Manchester and see Robert. He’d got off lucky with the chop shop, he knew; Debbie was furious with him but hadn’t sacked him and Charity had been excommunicated from the family, not that he expected that to last long. Still, he missed the extra money and had only been able to scrounge up enough money to see him once since the hotel, the week before Christmas. Robert had seemed stressed, though he hid it well, for the most part.

The rest of his time was taken up by Adam, who was like a loose end after coming out, talking about how he wanted to start a cab firm because getting hired with a record was hard to do. It was a pipe dream, because neither of them had the money and the bank wasn’t interested in extending a loan, but Aaron let him ramble on about it.

Christmas Day was taken over by preparations for Andy and Katie’s wedding, Victoria arriving at the crack of dawn to start on the catering. Big dos always stressed her out, but even more so today, and when his mum shooed him into the kitchen to help, he almost turned right around at the sight of her complaining to Finn, to escape both Vic’s drama and Finn’s cow eyes. Aaron had chosen to avoid him rather than tackle Finn’s crush head on, hoping the whole situation would go away on its own. Because that always worked.

He exchanged a look with Finn, who pulled a face, then smiled at him.

“You all right?” he asked carefully.

“It’s her brother,” Finn said. “Her other brother.”

“He’s just texted, he’s not coming to the wedding. ‘Merry Christmas, sis, can’t make it today’.” She shook her head and slapped Aaron’s hand away when he reached for a grape off the serving shelf.

“To be fair, Andy didn’t invite him,” Finn said.

“ _I_ invited him!” she said. “I just wanted my family altogether, for one day! It’s been six years since I’ve even seen him face to face! Ever since he deleted his Facebook, it’s like I don’t know anything about him any more. He’s down there living it large in London and I don’t even rate a phonecall on Christmas Day. Mum and Dad aren’t here to see Andy get married and I just wanted...” She stopped, sniffing, and Finn handed her a tissue. “It’ll be about Katie, I bet. He’s still in love with her.”

Aaron pulled a sympathetic face and reached for a plate, already swinging a foot back to head out the door again. “Should I take this out?”

The wedding was uneventful, aside from Bernice's little performance, and Aaron didn’t pay much attention, thinking more about if he should text Robert to wish him a merry Christmas or not. He knew Robert wasn’t his boyfriend, though it was getting harder and harder to remember that, and if he wasn’t paying him, Robert didn’t need to give him the time of day. He had so far, though, and Aaron felt like… maybe there was something more there.

He did send the text, eventually, holed up at the bar surrounded by the festivities and got one back a few minutes later. He had ducked and dived any sprigs of mistletoe, keeping a few feet from Finn all afternoon, but Finn had relented now and was sat with his family in a booth.

“You’re looking happy there, love,” his mum said, nudging his elbows from the top of the bar to clean it.

He shrugged. “Christmas, innit?”

“Mmhm,” she murmured and picked up his empty glass. “Refill?”


	4. Chapter 4

Robert was not a fan of Christmas, nor New Year’s, though he banked some cash at the clubs on New Year’s Eve. Back when him and Connor were still on, they used to go to some banging parties, really let loose after going out with sad old men and women all year – just men for Connor, though. 

Connor had been a breath of fresh to him, catching his eye in that Soho pub while Robert was with his aggressively heterosexual co-workers. They didn’t Have Anything Against Gays, of course, but it was a bit weird, wasn’t it, sticking your cock in a man, no offence (directed at their one out guy in the office, who took it with tense good humour, something Robert had become intimately familiar with). Connor had looked at him with such open lust that Robert had hardly known what to do with himself.

He’d been surprised to find out the Connor wanted paying for his services, but he paid, that night and other nights, until everything went wrong and he could hardly afford to eat, let alone the fun extras. Connor had taken pity on him and suggested that Robert could turn his hand, and other parts, to a spot of prostitution – he was handsome and well spoken, didn’t take sex too seriously, went with both. He’d been disgusted by the idea at first; he wasn’t like Connor, who flaunted himself and what he was, but over time he got used to the idea, especially after a violent first meeting with one of his creditors.

The first couple of years were great – he only sometimes felt degraded, depending on the client, and him and Connor went at it hard on their off hours. London lost its shine after a while, and Connor talked him into moving up to Manchester, where the scene was a little less saturated, he said. Being close to home put him on edge for a while, but he got used to it. Eventually, though, they got sick of the sight of each other and Robert hadn’t seen the inside of Connor’s bedroom in a year and a half or more.

His phone buzzed, nestled somewhere inside his sheets as he lay on his bed, his sleep mask pushed up into his hair. He’d been trying to catch up on his sleep before he headed off on this trip of Chrissie’s tomorrow, but he’d been tossing and turning all of the morning since he got his head down and now it was two and he’d only had a few hours sleep.

He searched around for the phone, shaking his sheets until it bounced into view, and checked the message.

 _its my birthday_ , Aaron had texted.

Robert smiled and texted back, **Happy birthday**.

_Free tonight?_

Robert looked over his room; he hadn’t seen Aaron in over a month, though they’d texted at Christmas, and he’d found himself missing him. Not the money, which was negligible, but Aaron himself. It felt a little like with Connor at the start, except it wasn’t only the lust. Anyway, all his bags were packed and he didn’t have anyone booked. He texted back that he was and he’d take Aaron somewhere nice, since it was his birthday.

-

“A gay bar?” Aaron asked when they met outside.

Robert shrugged. “Like the song says, I wanna spend all your money at the gay bar.”

“Wow,” Aaron said, and shook his head. He was smiling, though, and followed Robert in. 

It was a nice bar, the bar at the front, quiet enough that you could chat, all the action going on in the back. They squeezed in at the end of the bar, Robert waving the bartender down, and Aaron ordered a beer.

“Make that two,” Robert said, and looked back at Aaron. “Not driving?”

Aaron shrugged. “It’s my birthday, I’m gonna have fun. I booked a hotel room already.”

Robert raised his eyebrows quickly and Aaron smiled. “Didn’t your mates want to take you out? Or your family?”

Aaron looked like he was barely suppressing the urge to roll his eyes. “My mum made a nice tea, fancy cake from Waitrose, but things have been a bit mad at home. My mate’s just got out of prison, my cousin’s about to go in. Needed a break from it, to be honest.”

The bartender put the beers down in front of them, and Robert picked up the glass, gesturing with it for Aaron to pick up his. “Well, I’m happy to help, then. Happy birthday,” he said, and clinked the glasses together.

“Thanks,” he said, and took a sip, watching Robert over the rim of the glass.

They chatted for a bit, about telly, footie, and cars. Aaron saw some nice ones at the garage he worked at, he said, and Robert admitted how much he wanted an Audi R8.

“I had a Mercedes SL Roadster when I lived in London,” he said.

“Nice. Bit of a waste of money having a car in London, though, innit?”

“Completely,” Robert said and took a long drink from his glass, dragging his thumb across his mouth to wipe away the excess. Aaron bit his lip. “But damn, I loved driving around with the top down.”

“You sound like you’re going to rub one out at the thought of it,” Aaron said with a laugh.

“How d’you know I don’t?”

Aaron laughed louder, his nose wrinkling up, and Robert felt a sudden burst of warmth in his chest. He smiled again and drained the last of his glass.

“So what happened to it?” Aaron said.

“Leased, wasn’t it? I couldn’t make the payments any more and a nice man came and took it away.”

“Shit,” Aaron said, and knocked his nearly empty glass into Robert’s. “Want another one?”

Robert chewed on it for a moment. He’d always been firm on his one drink rule – that and not doing drugs were the two pieces of advice Connor had driven home to him when this all began and he’d stuck steadfast to it. He wasn’t looking to become another statistic for his GP to jot down.

“All right,” he said and Aaron waved the bartender over.

Robert turned slightly on his stool and caught sight of Nathan at the other end of the bar, whispering in a guy’s ear. He pulled back before Robert could look away, and waved quickly. Robert nodded and turned back to Aaron.

“Who’s that?” Aaron asked. Robert wondered if he didn’t sound a little jealous.

“Just a guy I know.”

“A… client?”

“No, the other thing.”

“Oh,” Aaron muttered, and ducked his head quickly. “Do you come here a lot?”

“Not recently, I mostly stay at home when I’m not working.”

“Yeah, me too, although home’s a pub...”

“Convenient,” Robert said and reached for the new pint as the bartender put it down in front of him.

“Yeah, but I’m living with my mum.”

Robert thought for a moment, sipping at his beer. “How old are you?”

Aaron shifted in his seat and picked up his pint. “Twenty three,” he muttered.

“Just turned twenty three?” Robert asked and he nodded. “God.”

Aaron’s expression closed up, his eyes dropping and his mouth pressing into a straight line before he spoke again. “Wondering why I’m paying for sex?”

“No,” Robert said, although he was and had been since the first time they’d gone out. “Just makes me feel old, that’s all.”

“How old are you?”

“Twenty eight. Twenty nine in April.”

Aaron laughed, his face warm again and Robert felt oddly relieved for it. “Wow. Ancient. Tell me about the blitz.”

“Lippy,” Robert muttered and nudged Aaron’s ankle with his foot. Aaron pushed back and they struggled for a bit before settling again, the back of Robert’s heels hooked over the metal bar running around the bottom of Aaron’s stool, Aaron’s feet tangled in between. 

At some point they switched to harder stuff, vodka and orange for him and rum and coke for Aaron, and Robert slid easily from buzzed to tipsy, though after his second glass he was sure that if he tried to get up, he’d prove to be more than just a little tipsy. He used to be able to hold his liquor better than this, but he guessed he’d really lost the ability, and the interest, for piss ups.

Aaron was holding up better than him, understandable considering where he lived. _Tubthumping_ came on over the speakers and Robert started tapping his hands against the bar. He remembered when it came out, feeling so grown up at eleven singing about lager and whiskey until his dad told him to turn that racket off. It reminded him of evenings hanging out with Katie, Donna, and Marc, drinking in the cricket pavilion, back before Marc did the year inside for running down Strickland.

“Like this song?” Aaron said, grinning at him.

“Yeah,” Robert said, and smiled easily. “I remember watching it on _Top of the Pops_ and they muted out every time they said ‘pissing’.”

“Back when dinosaurs roamed the Earth,” Aaron said.

Robert laughed and took another long pull from his glass. “Yeah.”

“Speaking of pissing...” Aaron said, and got up, stretching his arms out. “I need a slash.” He kissed the side of Robert’s head, hard enough to make Robert sway slightly in his seat. “Back in a min.”

Robert blinked after Aaron for a moment and touched his temple gently. He felt a little dizzy, but pleasantly so, and turned back to the bar to finish his drink.

“Rob?”

He jerked a little at the voice and looked back again, at Nathan standing beside him. “Hey… I’m ac-tually working at the moment.” ‘Actually’ was a hard word to say drunk.

“Yeah...” Nathan murmured. He was standing only a couple of inches away, and Robert’s vision kept going out of focus as he looked at him, so he settled on closing one eye. “I thought you were. I just noticed you were drinking a lot.”

“Not that much,” he argued. God, he really was becoming a lightweight. 

Nathan frowned. “Did he… give you something?”

“What?” Robert regarded him for another second before his meaning sank in. “No! Aaron’s… good.” He was really, really good, Robert thought. “Nothing to worry about.”

“Okay...” Nathan still didn’t sound like convinced. “I thought I’d check since you normally don’t drink.”

Robert sniffed. “We only slept together once, don’t get jealous.”

Nathan shook his head, already turning away. “Right. Enjoy your night, then.”

“I will!” Robert called, and reached for his glass again, just to spite Nathan, but it was empty. He swiped Aaron’s instead and drank a mouthful.

Time felt malleable and elastic like this, the speakers switching over to a much inferior song or three, the bartender moving up and down the bar, conversation buzzing around his head. He wasn’t sure how long Aaron had been gone when he came back, huffing slightly.

“Queue for the bogs was practically out the door,” he complained, bumping his shoulder into Robert’s. He had colour high on his cheeks and the bridge of his nose, eyes bright, merry but even more sober than Robert now, who could only smile up at him dumbly. He was still holding Aaron’s glass, but when he looked at it, it was empty.

“I drank yours,” he said, and Aaron laughed, running his hand through Robert’s hair to ruffle it. A shudder went all the way down Robert’s spine and he didn’t try to hide it. Aaron’s gaze got a little heavier.

“Maybe we should order some food,” he said, hooking the bottom of his stool to draw it closer before sitting.

The bar food was horrible, something that Robert was clear on within earshot of the bartender, but Aaron said he had to eat some, and drink a glass of water.

“What’d you get for your birthday, then?” he asked. He was bursting for a piss now but didn’t want to get up.

“Hoodie from my mum, smack to the back of the head from my uncle, a hug from my best mate’s girlfriend, and some of my cousins waved at me from across the street.”

“Big family?” 

“Place is practically crawling with them,” Aaron said with a smile. “You?”

“I’ve got five siblings,” he said, the words falling out of his mouth easily. “Well, four-- three. One’s dead and the other’s adopted.”

Aaron frowned a little. “Adopted still counts, doesn’t it?”

Robert scoffed. “My parents certainly thought so, he was their favourite.” 

Aaron pulled a face, the type everyone pulled when Robert said it, like he was holding onto petty grudges about Andy getting new footie trainers over him, or them going to Thorpe Park when Robert wanted to go to Alton Towers. 

He sniffed and rubbed his nose. He could feel it coming, the onslaught of grievances he had against Andy and his father, stuff he hadn’t told anyone in almost ten years, and for once he wasn’t trying to hold it in. “My dad finds me messin’ around with a farmhand in my bedroom and I get a hiding and iced out for the rest of his life; my brother...” He thought for a moment about the burning barn, his mother screaming for help, the heat of the explosion he could still feel on his face, but he couldn’t say it. If he said it, he’d crack open and all that black bile inside of him would pour out and never stop. “... _shoots_ him and everything’s hunky dory a few months later.”

Aaron’s eyes widened. “He shot your dad?”

“Well, to be fair, he was aiming for me.”

Aaron opened his mouth and blinked for a moment. “I don’t know what to say to that,” he settled on.

Robert shrugged, hiding a smile. His stories about Andy were real showstoppers. “The worst part is he was my mate first, from school.” If he hadn’t felt bad for him that day, hadn’t invited him home, hadn’t told Dad and Biff when Andy got stuck in the quarry – his mum would still be alive and it would have been him and Mum and Victoria, the way it should have been. “My parents adopted him when his gran died.”

“Shit,” Aaron muttered. “Are you… okay?”

Robert laughed. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he said, but Aaron didn’t look convinced and some of his bitter good humour faded. “I get by.”

Aaron watched him for another moment, then leant in and kissed him, soft and sweet. Robert pushed forward, wrapping his hand around Aaron’s neck, but the change in position made his bladder situation a lot more acute and he laughed a little against Aaron’s mouth.

“I’m gonna wet myself if I wait much longer,” he murmured.

Aaron kissed the corner of his mouth and sat back. “All right, I’ll meet you by the door after? We can… go back to my hotel?”

“Sounds perfect,” he said, and meant it.

The frigid night air didn’t do much to sober him up, as they rolled slightly through the streets. It was getting on eleven and there were lots of Sunday night revellers out along with them. Aaron took his hand after a while, pulling him closer as they passed a loud group of girls in heels and short skirts. The girls wolf-whistled and heckled them good-naturedly as they passed each other, and Robert waved back as Aaron drew him closer with an arm around his back.

The hotel he’d picked seemed nice from the brief look Robert got as they stumbled through the foyer and into the lift. They kissed, pawing at each other clumsily until the doors opened again on Aaron’s floor and Aaron dragged him down the hall. He fumbled with his keycard for a second before shoving the door open and bursting into the room. Robert laughed and Aaron grinned at him, still holding his hand, and tugged him into the room and over to the bed.

They kissed again, open mouthed and slow. Robert pushed his hands up the back of Aaron’s jumper and in return Aaron mouthed at his neck, his breath hot against Robert’s skin. Robert groaned and Aaron tipped him easily onto his back, sliding into place over him with a knee on either side of his hips. He started unbuttoning Robert’s shirt, his eyebrows knit in concentration, and Robert tried to help but only made things worse, his fingers clumsy. Aaron smiled again and leant in, kissing down Robert’s exposed chest.

“Is this okay?” he asked, his teeth biting into Robert’s collarbone.

Robert felt breathless and unable to answer for a moment, dropping his hand to the back of Aaron’s head. He couldn’t think of a single reason why this wouldn’t be okay. “Yeah,” he murmured.

Aaron bit and sucked at his collarbone, his chest, and Robert scratched his fingers over the buzzed hair on the back of Aaron’s head, his mouth falling open. His limbs felt pleasantly heavy, his body warm and relaxed. He was aroused, but not to the point of being able to do anything about it, and Aaron was half hard against his stomach but didn’t seem to notice. His movements slowed until he was only lazily kissing Robert’s skin, sliding his knees down to lie across him, fully dressed.

Robert put his arm around Aaron’s back, slipping his hand under Aaron’s jumper again and splaying it out against his back. Aaron sighed.

“What did you do before?” Aaron asked, muffled, into Robert’s chest.

“Before?” Robert repeated, and felt Aaron nod against him. “I did some bartending in Marbella, and then when I went to London I worked as an estate agent.”

Aaron stirred against him and looked up. “An _estate agent_?”

“What?” Robert said, tipping his chin down to look eye to eye with Aaron. 

Aaron pulled a face. “It’s just… estate agents, innit?”

“You’re all right with sex work, but you draw the line at selling houses?”

“I mean… I guess some of them are all right.”

“Some,” Robert said, and laughed. “I was a right scumbag, though.”

“Yeah?”

“Oh yeah. Greasing palms, funnelling properties to mates, charging exorbitant fees.”

Aaron put his head back down. “Sounds like you were raking it in. What happened?”

“Made a bad investment. My mate had this opportunity to get in on the ground floor investing in some flats that were about to be built. I took out a massive loan. My mate made off with all the cash and the site’s still a car park, last I heard.”

Aaron whistled. “Some mate.”

“Yeah. Get the friends you deserve, though, I guess.”

Aaron shifted up, tucking his head in underneath Robert’s chin. “You didn’t deserve that.”

“I dunno,” he said, his eyes starting to slide shut. He was minutes away from dozing off, he thought, and fought to keep his eyes open. “Aaron,” he mumbled.

Aaron shifted against him, his fingers finding Robert’s arm, tightening and then releasing again. His breathing was slow and steady against Robert’s chest and he mumbled something quietly that Robert didn’t catch. Robert let his eyes close.

-

He woke slowly, a heavy weight lying across his body. His head ached, but not enough to spur him to action; he felt comfortable and warm and kept his eyes closed as he listened to the distant sound of traffic. His hand was curled up against an expanse of skin, and he aimlessly drew circles for a minute before the night started to come back to him.

He opened his eyes and tried to look down, but his chin hit the top of Aaron’s head. _Aaron_ , he thought, and glanced at the clock on the bedside table. Just gone ten in the morning.

“Shit.” 

“Uh?” Aaron mumbled.

“Aaron,” Robert said, and cleared his throat. He pulled his hand out of his jumper and pushed his arm gently. “Aaron, wake up.”

Aaron twitched and opened his eyes. “What?” he said, rolling over. He rubbed at his face, digging his knuckles into his eyes as Robert eased himself up to a sitting position. “What happened?”

“We fell asleep,” Robert said.

Aaron dropped his hands. “Oh,” he said, then added, “shit,” and reached for his back pocket, pulling out a slim wallet. “I--”

Robert jolted a little; they’d both forgotten last night that they weren’t just on a normal date, and the sight of Aaron frowning at his wallet made Robert feel a bit sick. He was sure that Aaron didn’t have the odd grand or more tucked away in there, and more over, somehow, he didn’t want it. “Don’t worry about that,” he said quickly. “I fell asleep.”

“So did I,” Aaron said, and winced. “But I don’t have--”

“Really. It’s okay, we’re even.”

Aaron looked away for a second, then nodded. “Can I shout you breakfast, at least?”

Robert glanced back at the clock. “I have to be somewhere.”

“Oh,” Aaron repeated, his face closing off again. He tugged his sleeves down over his hands and rubbed at his face. “No problem.”

“I have to catch a flight to Southampton in a couple of hours,” Robert continued, wondering why he was telling him. “I’m going on a cruise this evening.”

Aaron’s eyebrows lifted a little, unhappy lines smoothing a little. “Oh right, where are you going?”

“Barbados, or somewhere like that,” Robert said. Chrissie hadn’t told him much about it, since her father had arranged it. Robert wasn’t sure of the wisdom of bringing along your escort on a family holiday – especially with Lawrence, who clearly wanted to fuck him – but the money would make his life a lot easier. His vagueness made it obvious that it wasn’t for pleasure, though.

“So… it’s work?” Aaron said.

“Yeah.” He almost followed up with ‘sorry’, but bit it off.

“How long for?”

“A month.”

Aaron bit his lip for a second before letting it go. “A whole month?”

“I’m back February 5th,” Robert said, trying to find some way to ease the blow. He wasn’t sure who he was easing it for, though. “If you’re free.”

“Won’t you be jetlagged? Or… boatlagged, or whatever?”

Robert shook his head. “I’ll be fine. I’m flying back to Manchester at two pm, so we could meet after that.”

“All right,” Aaron said, though his gaze had gone shifty and nervous. “You can text me, I guess.”

“I will.” He buttoned up his shirt quickly and got up. He’d only shed his jacket and shoes last night before they were spark out on the bed, and he redressed in them under Aaron’s watchful gaze. He dithered for a moment, his back turned to Aaron, zipping his jacket up, then turned back and went up to him. He kissed him, pressing in hard, a hand behind Aaron’s head. “I’ll text,” he said firmly.

Aaron looked up at him, his lips parted like he wanted to say something, but he settled for only, “Okay.”

-

The cruise was wonderful, of course. The ship was lavish, the food exquisite, the sun was warm and undisturbed by the wind and drizzle of Manchester. His skin was tanning already, burning on his cheeks and the tops of his shoulders. Chrissie rubbed sunscreen onto his back every morning and he spent most of his days at the pool, when he wasn’t in her bed.

They were approaching St. Vincent now, halfway through the trip. Chrissie had spent the morning with Lawrence and his business associates, while Robert lay on a deck chair and texted Aaron. He never texted clients like this, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself.

“There you are,” Chrissie said, walking over in a bikini, sarong wrapped around her hips, a bottle of sunscreen in hand. 

He thumbed his phone off and put it aside, then shifted to the side of the chair, opening up a space for her. She perched on the edge and shook the bottle.

“Would you like some more?” she asked.

“You just like touching my chest,” he said.

She smiled, squeezing out some lotion onto his chest. “Well...” she said, and smiled mischievously. She worked her fingers into his skin, spreading the lotion up around his collarbone. Her fingers grazed the round bruises Aaron had left behind and she tutted slightly. They’d faded in the last two weeks, but he’d always bruised easily and took a while to heal. “I wish you wouldn’t go showing these off,” she complained.

“Everyone thinks you gave them to me,” he said, and looked up at her over his sunglasses. “Or are lovebites too gauche for you?”

She pursed her lips. “Don’t be mean.”

“Sorry,” he said, and caught her hand, squeezing it for a moment before letting go. He’d liked her from the first date. Like Aaron, she wasn’t his usual client; she was young and beautiful, but she hadn’t had any luck in her love life and he’d come highly recommended to her by a merry widow who frequented one of her salons. She came from the kind of money and power that Robert had always craved, and over the last year, they’d blurred the line between paid arrangement and relationship, this trip ample proof of that. Her father and most of her friends thought they were dating and he’d even met her creepy son once, the morning after she’d brought him home for the night. He’d thought for a while now that he could pivot this into a proper relationship without any trouble at all, get a foot in the door at Lawrence’s machinery business and make himself a kept man. It would solve all of his money worries.

“Let me do your back,” she said, and he sat forward, resting his elbows on his legs. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his phone light up. A reply from Aaron, he thought, and his fingers itched to read it. Unlike with Aaron, Robert never texted Chrissie when they were apart, nor ever wanted to. The cruise was soaking in the type of glamour and affluence that Robert had always wanted and, frankly, felt he deserved, but all he could think about was how much Aaron would have hated it. He imagined him scrunched up on the neighbouring deck chair, in his hoodie, refusing to take anything off. The first time Robert saw him without his t-shirt on, he would have thought that Aaron had been in a knife fight or something but for the squirrelly way he behaved, and Robert wanted to know why. He wanted to know everything about Aaron.

“Robert?” Chrissie said in her soft, Home Counties accent. He spoke like that too, when he was with her, like he had learnt in London, smoothing out the sharp As and contractions in his speech. A proper little rich boy, Connor called him. Wannabe rich boy.

“Mm?”

She shifted back around to face him, sliding half into his lap, and smoothed some lotion across his cheeks and nose. “You’re a million miles away.”

He smiled. “Just enjoying the sun.”


	5. Chapter 5

The month was killer for Aaron. His mum had noticed that he wasn’t hurrying off every week any more and came to the conclusion that he’d been dumped, Adam still had big dreams and little money, and their Belle had had ‘a funny turn’, as Diane had put it carefully. Aaron knew what it was like to have a funny turn, though he’d never got to the point of hearing voices – he’d never lost grip on reality, reality had just gripped on him too hard.

Robert texted him throughout the month, though, at least once a day. He described the islands they were passing, and sent him pictures, and complained about the company. Aaron had never been one for writing, so this little penpal situation wasn’t ideal, but he was desperate for whatever he could get.

“I’ve never seen you on that thing so much,” Paddy said, nudging Aaron’s arm at the bar. Aaron hit send on a message telling Robert to stop mithering about the sun when it had been raining torrentially for a week at home and shoved his phone in his pocket.

“What?”

“You and that phone,” Paddy said and made awkward texting motions with his thumbs. “You weren’t on it this much when you were a teenager!”

“And?”

“And… nothing,” Paddy muttered, then took a breath, as if he was steeling himself. “It’s just your mum says you’ve been upset recently because you broke up with your boyfriend.”

Aaron stared at him until he wilted and looked away. “First off,” he began, “I’m not upset, and I haven’t been dumped. And he’s not my boyfriend.”

“Why not, you’ve been seeing him enough. Where’s he now?”

“He just… isn’t.” He took a swig of his pint and set his jaw. “He’s away on business.”

“What’s he do?”

Aaron sighed. “He... does houses, selling them.”

“He’s an estate agent?”

“Yeah,” Aaron said with a shrug.

Paddy frowned at him and tapped his fingers on the top of the bar. “ _Aaron_ ,” he said in his dad voice. “Is he with someone else?”

Aaron had a sudden flash of whoever Robert was with on this nice cruise, exploring the islands with him, rubbing sunscreen on his back. He hated whoever that was, even though he knew he didn’t have any right to. He took too long to reply, though, and when he said, “No,” Paddy tipped his head, unconvinced.

“Aaron,” he repeated, as Aaron’s phone buzzed again in his pocket. 

He pulled it out and looked at it. _I miss the smell of the city after it rains. :(_

He snorted and downed the last of his pint. “Sorry, Paddy, got stuff to do in the back.”

Paddy stuttered a bit in reply, but Aaron was already moving, typing out, **prat** in reply.

-

He booked a hotel for the 5th and left work early. Debbie wasn’t best pleased, but she relented on the promise that he’d come back less mardy than he’d been lately.

They arranged to meet at the hotel at three thirty. Aaron was checked in by one, fussed around the spotless room for a bit, then went down to the bar, filled with nervous energy. He downed a pint or two and was outside the hotel at quarter past three, phone in hand, though he hadn’t heard from Robert all day. Three thirty came and went, three forty five, four. He texted to no reply, called and got voicemail, and the doorman looked at him strangely a few times, pacing out front like that. The time crept to four fifteen and he bargained with himself – another five minutes and he’d leave, another ten. Robert had obviously got a better offer, probably from the mystery person who’d whisked him away to the Caribbean. The Caribbean vs. a three star hotel in Manchester seemed like a no brainer.

At four twenty five, he pushed himself away from the wall and started for the door. He’d see if he could his money back, or otherwise he’d spend the night, make the most of the peace and quiet. He wouldn’t think about Robert again. It was best like this, anyway; Aaron was mad to turn this into some kind of romance. He was just a john, that was all, nothing special to Robert.

He turned on his heel towards the door as a taxi pulled up to the kerb and someone hopped out, bags tossed carelessly to the pavement. Aaron glanced back and caught sight of a luminously blond head ducking down to the front window of the car. He turned back towards the bags and waited.

“Keep the change,” Robert told the driver breathlessly and stepped back, bumping into his bags with a soft curse. Aaron cleared his throat and he spun around, eyes going wide, then soft. “Aaron,” he sighed, stepped over the bags, and reached up to his face, dragging him into a kiss without another word. He groaned into it and Aaron grabbed the front of his jacket and squeezed the material between his fingers. 

Robert slid his mouth to Aaron’s jaw and sighed. “My plane was delayed,” he murmured.

Aaron tipped his head back and looked at him. Robert let his hands slip down to rest on his shoulders. His hair was blonder than ever, his skin tanned and his freckles standing out in sharp relief. He had dark smudges under his eyes, but his eyes were bright and happy.

“I called and you didn’t answer.”

Robert dropped his gaze for a moment and cleared his throat. “I ran out of minutes texting you on roaming.”

“Really?”

Robert squeezed his shoulders and offered an embarrassed smile. “Yeah.”

Aaron glanced down at the bags. “You came straight from the airport?”

“Yeah,” Robert said, and smiled wider. “I ran all the way from security to the taxi rank.”

Aaron believed him, his chest inflating with heady relief, and tamped down on a sigh. “Careful, you’ll do your hip in like that.”

“Shut up,” Robert said, with a mock glare, then darted back in and kissed him again. “Are you checked in?”

“Yeah.”

Robert raised his eyebrows quickly and pulled back to grab his bags. “Lead the way, then,” he said, turning back to take Aaron’s hand.

Robert had him up against the bedroom door as soon as it was closed, his bags forgotten, his jacket shrugged from his shoulders and kicked aside. He slid hot hands up under Aaron’s jumper and mouthed at his jaw sloppily. “I thought about this the whole time I was away,” he whispered.

“Yeah?” Aaron murmured, his breath hitching slightly. He rested his hands on Robert’s narrow waist and tried to keep his head, but it was hard to do, the way Robert was grinding into him.

Robert nodded and slid his hands around Aaron’s hips, tugging him forward. “Let me show you.”

He walked backwards to the bed, guiding Aaron, and sat down on it when the backs of his knees hit the mattress. He let go of Aaron and started unbuttoning his shirt. Like his face, Robert’s shoulders were dusted with dark freckles and he was evenly tanned all down his chest. Aaron wondered how far it went and if he’d sunbathed naked with his client. They spent a whole month together, they must have got pretty close.

Robert threw the shirt aside and reached out for Aaron’s belt, pulling it open with practised hands. He opened Aaron’s fly and pushed his jumper up, kissing along his pelvis. Aaron’s knees felt weak as his eyes slid shut. Robert was so good at this, at making Aaron feel overwhelmed and like the only person left in the world. Was it like this with everyone Robert was with? There was a reason he’d been whisked away on a cruise. He must have been paid big money for that. Aaron hadn’t even got his wallet out yet.

He slid his fingers into Robert’s hair and tipped his head back. Robert looked up at him, maybe adoringly, and Aaron’s chest constricted.

“I don’t think I can do this any more,” he said quietly.

Robert’s eyebrows furrowed. “Do what?”

Aaron looked down at him, his thumbs stroking Robert’s temples softly, and pulled his hands back. “I can’t pay to sleep with you any more.”

He stepped back and Robert’s mouth fell open. He blinked up at Aaron for a moment.

“Then don’t,” he said.

Aaron’s breath thinned out. “What?”

Robert stood up, stepping into Aaron’s space. “Don’t pay. You’re not the only one who feels it.”

“Feels…?” Aaron murmured.

“Something more?” Robert said and glanced away for a second. “Right?”

Aaron took a breath. Robert was starting to look unsure, his gaze going shifty. “Yeah,” Aaron breathed out, and kissed him.

They fell back onto the bed, touching each other everywhere they could reach. The sex was frantic but gentle, the first time. Robert’s hips were pale and untanned, and Aaron felt better for it, letting himself be wrapped up and consumed by Robert. They pawed at each other until their limbs were heavy and Robert’s stomach growled, then ordered room service and ate it in bed, tangled up in the sheets.

“I guess we should talk about this, then,” Aaron said eventually.

“Mm,” Robert murmured. He’d been dozing in and out for a while, tired from the trip back like Aaron had thought he would be. He rolled over onto his side, though, pillowing his head in his hand, and looked at Aaron. “You start.”

Aaron snorted. “Where are you from?”

Robert sighed and rubbed his face. “Just some shitty village. I left when I was nineteen, only been back for my dad’s funeral.”

“What about your mum?”

“She died when I was fourteen. There was a fire...” He trailed off, sucking his lips into his mouth for a second.

“I’m sorry,” Aaron said.

Robert swallowed. “It’s fine,” he said, though his face said different. “What about your mum? You live with her, right?”

“Unfortunately,” he said and Robert raised his eyebrows. “Nah, she’s all right. She had me when she was fourteen, so I guess she’s done the best she can. My father… is the kind of guy who gets a fourteen year old girl pregnant.” He took a breath and ploughed on, not willing to give Robert an opening to question him about that. “How long have you been an escort?”

“Five years.”

“Why did you…?”

Robert sighed and Aaron wondered if he’d pushed it too far, but Robert started talking. “It was easy. That massive loan I told you about? It’s in the hundreds of thousands. My ex got me into it and it was easy, I was good at it. I can make thousands a week, if I’m on form.”

Aaron licked his lips. “Your ex?”

“Yeah, he was an escort when I met him. I had money then, so I paid to see him. He… helped me be more comfortable with myself. When everything went wrong, he said I should join him. It… wasn’t my first choice, but my other options were go back to the village or to my gran in Spain and I couldn’t afford a plane ticket. I didn’t love it, but I’ve got used to it. Me and Connor drank, partied, had sex anywhere and everywhere.” Aaron shifted a little, though Robert didn’t seem to notice his discomfort. “Nowadays, we can hardly bear to look at each other.”

“Do you see him a lot?”

“We live together.”

“Oh,” he said, and felt anxiety bubble up again. “Have you had any other serious relationships?”

“I was engaged once,” he said, and pinched at his nose. “I was only a kid. I cheated on her and she left.”

The anxiety burrowed deeper. “Why did you cheat?”

Robert shrugged. “Seemed like the thing to do, at the time,” he said, like it was nothing.

“No other men, though? What about the farmhand?”

Robert snorted. “I never saw him again. I buried it and there weren’t any guys in the village I was attracted to anyway. But when I was older, there was a-- there was a guy. Max. We were going to go to London together, run away. We were both over eighteen, but his father was overbearing and-- I had my reasons too. We were barely even friends – I’m not very good at all that – but I liked him. He was straight, didn’t know how I felt.”

“What happened?”

Robert took a breath and rolled onto his back. “He died in a car crash.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, and Robert waved him off. “So, does your family know that you’re bi now?”

He shook his head. “My family don’t know anything about me. Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah.”

Robert’s gaze wandered down a little. “How did you get those scars?”

Aaron drew in a breath, laying his hands over his stomach, bunching up the covers between his fingers. “I--” He glanced at Robert, who was watching him steadily. “I did it to myself.”

Robert only blinked, no trace of surprise on his face. “Why?”

“Uh… lots of reasons,” he said softly. “Being gay, stress, stuff with my family.” He looked at his hands, stretching out his fingers. His scars there weren’t noticeable and certainly not for someone who worked with his hands anyway, but he knew they were there. He knew what the little raised white scars on the backs of his hands and the sides of his fingers were from.

“Do you still do it?”

He shook his head. “Not in a-- not in a few years.”

“All right,” Robert said.

“‘All right’?” Aaron repeated. “That’s it?”

Robert shrugged. “People do a lot worse things than that.”

It sounded like he was speaking from experience, but he didn’t seem interested in elaborating. Aaron shifted closer and Robert lifted his arm, letting Aaron settle underneath it. He rested his cheek on Robert’s shoulder and sighed.

“It’s not even ten yet,” he said.

“Mmhm,” Robert murmured, his chest rising and falling steadily. Aaron smiled to himself and closed his eyes.

-

He woke to a curt knock at the door. Robert took a deep breath in but didn’t wake up, his fingers flexing where they lay across Aaron’s arm. Aaron blinked away sleep as the knock came again.

“Room service,” a muffled voice called.

Aaron sat up quickly, dislodging Robert’s arm – Robert huffed and rolled over. He remembered filling in one of those breakfast cards now; he’d hung it on the door before going downstairs. It had seemed romantic or something. 

He got out of bed and hurried to the door, grabbing a dressing gown that was laid out over the desk chair. He pulled it on and belted it before wrenching the door open. “Hey,” he said breathlessly.

“Good morning, two continental breakfasts?” the woman said, holding out the tray.

“Thanks,” he said and took it, wondering briefly if he was supposed to tip her, but she turned away with a polite smile and an ‘enjoy your breakfast’. He backed up and kicked the door closed.

“What time is it?” Robert muttered, his voice rough.

Aaron glanced at the clock. “Eight,” he said and came back to the bed, putting the tray down on the covers beside Robert. “Hungry?”

Robert dragged himself up and rubbed his hands over his face and into his hair. “You ordered breakfast?”

“Yesterday,” he said, “I forgot. It’s, uh… continental, whatever that means.”

“A croissant and some fruit, normally,” Robert said, reaching for the butter tray. Aaron poured him a glass of orange juice and he smiled. “Thanks.”

“I remember the food in France being a lot better than this,” Aaron said, eyeing a ropey muffin. “I bet the food on the cruise was good, though.”

Robert shrugged. “All that foreign muck, you know?”

Aaron smiled back, even though he knew Robert was fobbing him off. They chatted aimlessly as they ate, flirting a little but without much heat. It felt nice, comfortable.

“You want to do something today?” he asked, hoping he didn’t sound as nervous as he felt.

“Uh...” Robert murmured, and checked the clock. Aaron started to get a sinking feeling in his stomach. “Yeah. I’ve got to be somewhere by one, though.”

“Where?”

Robert looked away for a second, then met Aaron’s gaze. “Work.”

Aaron bit down hard on the inside of his mouth. “You’re going to go… ‘work’, today?”

Robert sighed, his shoulders dropping. “I have to do it, Aaron, I need the money. I can’t get by on a couple of hundred quid every now and then.”

Aaron shifted back, dropping his cup of coffee hard on the tray. “So, you do want paying?”

“No, of course not,” Robert said and laughed a little. “I think I was pretty clear yesterday. It’s just my job. What if I didn’t want you to be a mechanic any more?”

Aaron got one foot on the floor, turning his body away. “It’s not really the same thing, though, is it?”

Robert blinked, any good humour draining from his expression. “I guess not.”

“You’re going to go fuck someone else after we just--” He swallowed hard. “Is it a man or a woman?”

Robert’s lip curled a little. “Right, so that’s what this is. You’re just another jealous queen?”

Aaron reared back, stumbling up, as Robert’s eyes widened. “Wait, no,” Robert said quickly. “Aaron, I didn’t--”

“Don’t,” Aaron snapped. He grabbed his jeans off the floor and started shoving them up his legs. “Better that I know now, don’t want to waste your expensive time.”

“Aaron,” Robert said, scrambling across the bed to follow him. “Come on, we’re both half asleep--”

“Well, I’m wide awake now,” Aaron said, his dressing gown half off already. He dropped it to the floor and snatched up his hoodie, zipping it up over his bare chest, and grabbed his t-shirt.

“ _Aaron_ ,” Robert said again, his voice desperate. “Can we just...” He touched Aaron’s shoulder and Aaron jerked back, pushing him away. His bag was on the desk and he grabbed it, shoving his t-shirt in. The key card for the room was in the pocket of his hoodie – he took it out and threw it on the desk.

“Checkout’s eleven, don’t mess the place up,” he said and forced himself not to run for the door. He jammed his feet into his trainers and strode quickly across the room, throwing the door open without looking back. Robert kept calling his name, but Aaron had adrenaline and not being naked on his side and was able to get into the stairwell without being followed.

-

Robert called twenty times as Aaron drove home, clutching hard at the steering wheel. He texted, too, Aaron’s phone intermittently ringing and buzzing. He put it on silent after a while and threw it onto the back seat. There was an accident on the Haslingden Bypass, traffic backing up on the A56, and he didn’t get back into the village until eleven.

He’d got the day off from work because of his trip, but he felt edgy and jittery when he got home. His mum had just opened the pub, but Diane was in the back and looked at him sympathetically when he stormed into the room, feeling like his skin was jumping.

“You all right, pet?” she asked.

He hated that he was so transparent, that he was so easy to read, that everyone rushed to aid because they thought he was so delicate, that he’d start cutting himself again or something.

“I’m going to work,” he said and turned right back around.

The edginess didn’t fade at work, though. If anything it got worse. Cain let him take it out on an old banger for a few hours, before labelling him a liability and sending him on his way. He bounced around for the rest of the afternoon, drinking coffee at Bob’s and watching telly in the back room until Adam took pity on him and hauled him out to the front.

“Mate,” he said disapprovingly and held out a pint. “Get this down you.”

The pint didn’t help much, and neither did watching Adam and Vic make eyes at each other over the bar. He held out as long as he could, before muttering that he was going for a run.

“At eight pm?” Mum said.

He shrugged, dodging her worried looks. “No time like the present.”

He ran from the pub up to Home Farm, which still stood empty and increasingly overgrown, did a circuit around the outskirts, then looped around the village a few times, passing Butler’s and crossing the ford. He was drenched in sweat by the time he came home and was surprised to find it was past ten. He tried to take the stairs two at a time, but his legs felt weak now, and he stumbled up haphazardly.

“Is that you, love?” Mum called from her room.

“Yeah,” he called. “I’m going to bed.”

He heard her wish him a good night before he closed his door and sat down on the bed. His skin pulsed from sweat and exertion and he sat for a minute, waiting for it to pass before he took his phone out of his pocket and looked at it. He had thirty text alerts, tailing off at one pm. He smiled bitterly to himself – it obviously hadn’t bothered Robert enough to keep him off work. There were only a few messages after one, at nine fifteen and nine forty five. Unlike his normal perfect spelling, these were little more than keyboard smashes. _Aarib ps_ and _Pkabv andstr_. Drunk, Aaron assumed; maybe he’d gone to a club with his client and got off his face.

The phone started to ring silently in his hand, a cheerful ‘Robert’ coming up. He clenched his jaw and swiped to the right, lifting the phone to his ear. 

“Stop ringing me,” he said. “Sober up.”

“I’m not… drunk...” Robert said slowly, between laboured breaths. He didn’t sound drunk, to be fair.

“So what is it?” Aaron snapped, but his stomach was already twisting.

“I’m… ah, I’ve been… beaten up.”

“What? How bad?”

Robert laughed a little, but cut himself off with a groan. “Pretty bad.”

“Are you in A&E?”

“No...” he murmured. “That’ll just make things worse.”

Aaron’s heart started to pound in his chest again. “Why? Was it a client?” Horrible things started running through his head, things that a john could do to an escort – a cold shock went through him and he squeezed his eyes shut against the images.

“No, no--” Robert broke off in a pained fit of coughing. “Ugh. Will you come help me?”

“Where are you?”

“At home.”

“Manchester?” he asked, and took Robert’s groan as a yes. “I’m an half and a hour away. Where’s your flatmate?”

“Not here,” Robert muttered. “I can wait for you, it’s okay.”

“Go to A&E.”

“Aaron, _please_ ,” he groaned, sounding on the edge of tears. Aaron’s heart flipped.

“Okay,” he said, and heard Robert sigh. “Okay, okay. What’s your address?”

“Got a pen?” Robert said. “I’d text it but my screen is smashed.”

Aaron turned the room over, digging out a stubby Ikea pencil, and scribbled down Robert’s address on a letter from Hotten Crown Court. “I won’t get there much before midnight,” he said.

“That’s fine,” Robert said softly. It sounded like he was struggling to breathe.

“Can you breathe?” Aaron said.

“Yeah… ugh, it’s just my ribs.”

Aaron had a sudden horrible image of Robert’s lung being pierced by a broken rib. “If it gets any worse, call an ambulance.”

“Okay,” Robert said, but Aaron knew he wouldn’t.

“I’ll get there as soon as I can.”

“Okay,” Robert repeated and Aaron wondered if he was concussed. He resisted the urge to say anything, telling himself that he’d call the ambulance himself once he was there, if it seemed like Robert needed it. God only knew what kind of trouble he’d got himself into, and Aaron didn’t want to make it worse if he could help it. He’d been in enough trouble himself recently.

He said goodbye and changed back into his jeans and a fresh t-shirt and hoodie, collected up his keys, wallet, and phone, and quietly opened his door. He could hear the shower running, so it was easy to slip out without his mum asking questions, and downstairs Diane was engrossed in a crime show. He slipped out the door and ran to his car.

It was an easy drive up, not much traffic now that it was long past rush hour, but Aaron still didn’t make it there until just before midnight. He parked on the street and got out. Somehow, he’d expected Robert to live in some fancy area, in a nice, upscale building, but every building on the street was in some level of disrepair and when he found Robert’s building number, it was the most run down on them all.

The doorbell looked like it had taken a battering, but it rang through when he pressed for number seven. The name on the bell just said, ‘Jensen’. Robert Jensen, he thought, as Robert answered weakly.

“Aaron?”

“Yeah, it’s me,” he said. The door buzzed open without another word. 

Aaron took the stairs because the lift looked pretty suss, and found Robert’s flat on the second floor. There was no need to knock, because the door frame was damaged and the handle was broken. He pushed the door open carefully and peered in.

“Robert?” he called and stepped over broken pieces of what looked like a chair. The place had been trashed, turned totally upside down, broken pictures, slashed couch cushions, smashed plates. He heard slow footsteps coming from the narrow hallway leading off the living room and a moment later Robert appeared, his shoulders hunched in, a hand pressed to his chest.

“Hey,” Robert murmured. He looked a sight, his lip and eyebrow split, his nose bloodied and swollen, and the way he was holding his chest suggested there were more horrors to come.

Aaron rushed forward, putting his hands on Robert’s shoulders. Robert swayed a little but smiled. “Hey,” he repeated.

“Did you get broken into?” Aaron said, guiding him to the armrest of the couch to sit.

“In a manner of speaking,” Robert said and groaned as he sat down. He pressed his fingers to the cut on his lip, wincing. “My creditors paid me a visit.”

“Your…” Aaron blinked at him for a moment before he realised what Robert was getting at. “A loan shark?”

Robert nodded.

“How much?”

“Five hundred thousand,” Robert said quietly, and Aaron couldn’t help but choke on the figure. “I’m close to paying it off. Was, anyway. My latest payment date was while I was on the cruise, but I thought that… ten grand in hand would make up for being late.” He sniffed. “It didn’t.”

Aaron glanced around. The place really was destroyed, the thugs must have torn everything apart just to make a point. “Where’s your flatmate?”

Robert swallowed audibly. “I don’t know, he’s not answering his phone.”

Aaron was still holding his shoulders, and Robert was still swaying a little, drifting away occasionally. Aaron squeezed him harder and he rallied for a moment. “You can’t stay here, you’ll have to come back to mine.”

“Yeah,” Robert said and Aaron wondered if that had been his plan all along.

“What do you need to bring?”

“Er...” Robert looked around. “My bags are still packed from the cruise, but maybe some stuff from my room.”

Aaron dropped his hands to Robert’s side and helped him stand again. They shuffled down the hallway and through the first door on the left, where Robert’s room was in a similar state to the rest of the flat. The covers were strewn across one side of the room, the mattress stabbed and slashed, and there was broken glass all over the ground that crunched under their feet.

The room was sparsely decorated, just a bed, one bedside table, a chest of drawers, and a cheap free standing cupboard with a sizeable dent in it. That was new, Aaron assumed. There were some books scattered on top of the chest, and an overturned CD rack by it on the floor.

“Who buys CDs any more?” Aaron said.

“Me, obviously,” Robert said, and began to sort through his bedside drawer.

Aaron bent down and collected up a handful of cases. Some of the CDs had slipped out and got broken, but a lot were intact. “ELO?” he read off one of the cases. “Really?”

“It’s a classic British band, Aaron,” Robert said, like he was a schoolteacher giving Aaron a ticking off.

Aaron flicked through a couple more. “The Corrs? _*NSYNC_?”

“All right, all right,” Robert muttered.

“You want to bring them?”

There was a long pause before Robert said, “Yeah.” Aaron laughed to himself and collected up all the CDs that hadn’t been smashed, setting them on top of the chest. Robert had finished sifting through the drawers and heaved a sigh before pressing his hand to his chest and stooping slightly.

“Hey, let me do that,” Aaron said. Robert sighed again and gestured to a frame lying face down on the ground. Aaron crouched down and picked it up, turning it over. The glass was smashed into a spider web of cracks; Aaron brushed the loose pieces away and picked the rest out. In the photo was a dark-haired woman, a blond little boy, and a baby cradled to the woman’s chest. Aaron sat back and handed it to Robert.

“Thanks.”

“Your mum?”

“Yeah.”

“Robert--” he started, but the sound of voices cut him off. They both went still. Robert clutched at the frame.

“ _Jesus, look at this place._ ”

“ _You think…_ ”

“ _I dunno._ ”

“ _Maybe we should call someone…_ ”

“ _Nah, best off not having cops snooping around. C’mon._ ”

The voices receded. Aaron stood up slowly and looked at Robert. Robert’s grip on the frame loosened. “Did you recognise the voices?”

“Neighbours, I think,” Robert said quietly.

Aaron nodded and put his hand on Robert’s back. “Right, let’s get a move on.”

Aaron took Robert’s bags and his CDs and the rest of the bits and bobs he’d scrounged together and they brought it all out to the car in one go – Aaron felt like going back and forth would only raise suspicion or get them into more trouble if the thugs were still hanging around. He’d closed the door to the flat as best he could, though it would inevitably drift open after a while, since it could no longer latch, but he had a feeling Robert wasn’t planning on ever coming back.

When they got into the car, Robert groaned long and low, and dropped his head back against the seat.

“A&E?” Aaron said hopefully, checking his mirrors. He didn’t see any suspicious cars, but he’d have to keep his eyes peeled for anything dodgy following them.

“Aaron,” Robert said softly. He sounded halfway to sleep already, his eyes closed. “No.”

Aaron started the car, one eye on Robert as he drove to the end of the road. “Don’t fall asleep, you might have a concussion.”

“That’s a myth,” Robert said, but opened his eyes and turned his head towards to Aaron. “And I’m not concussed.”

“You would say that.” He made the turn onto the busier road, though there still weren’t many cars around.

Robert smiled. “I’m sorry about what I said this morning.”

“Yeah, me too.” He checked the rearview mirror; all clear. “What I said, I mean.”

“You were right.”

Aaron opened his mouth. Despite what Robert was saying now, he knew it was wrong, what he’d said, and hypocritical when he’d been enjoy the fruits of Robert’s labour so much, but it felt… He felt like it was something Robert should be rescued from, something that Robert was better than. What did Aaron think, that he’d be like that guy from _Pretty Woman_ , riding in to save the day?

“Thanks for doing this,” Robert continued before Aaron could get himself together enough to reply.

“Well, I wasn’t just gonna leave you to it after you sounded so pathetic on the phone.”

Robert laughed a little. “Anyone else would have.”

Aaron frowned, keeping his eyes on the road. “I was the first person you called?”

“You’re the only person,” Robert murmured. His eyes were sliding shut again and Aaron didn’t have the heart to wake him this time. With Robert asleep, he could easily drive them to the hospital, but somehow he knew he wouldn’t. He didn’t think he could do anything that Robert asked him not to.

Robert slept for an hour solid as Aaron drove down the dark motorway with only the sound of his congested snores for company. That was fine, it gave him time to agonise over the situation in his head. What was he going to say to his mum about this strange man he’d brought home in the night? What were they going to do if the thugs tracked Robert down? What if Robert dropped dead from internal bleeding before any of the rest of it became a problem?

A car blasted past them, heading the other way, high beams lighting the car up for a second. Aaron’s chest constricted, but the driver kept going, tail lights disappearing into the distance. Just a dickhead, then.

Robert stirred, cracking open an eye. “Where are we?” he mumbled.

“Driving through the Dales, just passed Stainburn.”

“Huh,” Robert murmured. “I used to live in the Dales.”

“Yeah?” Aaron said and concentrated on taking the right exit on the roundabout. “Where’d you live?”

Robert muttered something unintelligible, already back to sleep.

They made it to the village at two am. Aaron pulled around the back of the pub and parked, then got out and gave the area a quick sweep. There was no one around, like he’d expect at this time of the morning, and no unfamiliar cars. He went around to the passenger side and opened the door. Robert shifted but didn’t wake.

“Hey,” Aaron said softly and gave him a gentle shake. “Come on, you can’t sleep in the car.”

Robert groaned in response. He had a black eye coming up now, ringing the bottom of his right eye.

“Right,” Aaron said under his breath and reached in, looping an arm around Robert’s back. He pulled him bodily from the car and Robert finally got moving, stumbling back into him. Aaron closed the car door and rearranged his grip on Robert, dragging Robert’s arm around his shoulders, then turned them towards the pub.

They got inside without too much trouble – Robert could walk, just not quickly or reliably – but he was more worried about the stairs. The alternative was the settee, which wasn’t going to do Robert’s injuries any favours.

“Okay, one foot in front of the other,” Aaron said, pressing himself into the wall to give Robert enough room with them going two by two.

“I remember how to walk,” Robert said, without any heat.

“Yeah, well, I’d carry you but you’re too gangly.”

“I’d like to see you try,” Robert said, and the look on his face in the half light suggested he really would.

Aaron laughed and nudged him on. When they were almost at the top of the stairs, he thought he heard a click, like a door closing, but when they reached the landing, there was no light under any of the doors. He shook his head and helped Robert into his bedroom, slapping on the light.

“Ugh,” Robert muttered and tried to flop down on the bed. 

Aaron caught him and made him sit down on the edge. “Hang on, let’s get your shirt off first,” he said, and started unbuttoning it.

“Oh, _vicar_ ,” Robert said in a stupid voice.

Aaron glanced up. “You what?”

“Monty Python?”

“Bit before my time, mate.”

“Yeah, well, mine too, but I can still appreciate it,” Robert said blithely, as Aaron opened up enough of his shirt to reveal green and purple bruises, some outlining his ribs starkly.

“Robert,” he breathed.

Robert looked and sighed. “It’s worse than it looks. I mean-- it’s not as bad as it looks.”

Aaron shook his head and got to the last button. Robert held his arms out and Aaron pulled it off him, then turned to his dresser drawers. “Don’t lie down yet,” he said, and got no response. In the top drawer, he found an old black jumper with a stretched out neck and fraying sleeves; it was comfortable and warm, and he turned back to Robert with it in his hands.

Robert was staring off into the distance and Aaron was struck for a moment by how vulnerable he looked now. His collarbone stood out more prominently from the way he was hunched over, his skin was sallow everywhere there wasn’t a bruise – you’d never guess he’d had a golden tan twelve hours previous – and he just looked sad.

“Let’s get this on you,” Aaron said after a moment and Robert took a breath, focusing on him again.

It was a bit touch and go for a while, manoeuvring Robert into the jumper, but they got there without too much trouble. The jumper was large on Robert, but then it was large on Aaron too, that’s why he liked it. Aaron unbuckled his belt and loosened it to another lascivious look from Robert. Aaron rolled his eyes and pulled the duvet back, and Robert scooted over, lying down with a relieved sigh.

“I should really clean up your face,” Aaron said, eyeing the crusted blood on Robert’s brow.

“Tomorrow,” Robert groaned and pulled the duvet up to his chin. 

“All right,” Aaron said. “I’m gonna grab your stuff from the car, then I’ll be back up, okay?”

Robert muttered something, his eyes closed. Aaron smiled to himself and leant in, kissing his forehead before he switched the light off and went back downstairs.


	6. Chapter 6

Robert woke to the sound of cars backing up and people shouting to each other. The mattress beneath him was firm, much firmer than his with his special memory foam layer he'd lugged back from Argos. He lifted his hand to his face and rubbed at it; everything throbbed painfully, wrenching him entirely from sleep. He opened his eyes and looked around the room.

Aaron’s room, he realised, and ran a hand down the soft jumper he was wearing. Aaron’s too, then. He sat up, his ribs threatening to cave in and pierce all his internal organs, and tugged up the jumper. He was black and blue all down his chest, and suddenly remembered the kicking he got yesterday. He’d been out all day, the disastrous morning with Aaron, then his afternoon date at a gala dinner with a new guy; he’d left his bags with reception at the hotel, had picked them up after and got home at nine. He’d interrupted them turning over the flat, and the ten grand he put in their sweaty hands didn’t stop them from giving him the once over. He wouldn’t forget again, they said.

He couldn’t quite believe that Aaron had actually come got him, driven all the way to Manchester and back. He’d tried Connor to no answer and wondered if he’d got a similar beating, but it was only Aaron he wanted. Somehow, he’d got him.

He wasn’t here now, though. The clock said it was a little past eight, so maybe he was making breakfast. Robert braced himself against the edge of the mattress and levered himself up. His legs felt stiff and hard to bend from the way he’d struggled with his attackers; he shuffled out the room and down the stairs. The little hallway downstairs seemed oddly familiar, the old people’s home wallpaper making him itch a little, but he shook it off. There were two doors, one which he thought they’d come in through last night. He picked the other one and pushed it open, peering inside.

The sense of déjà vu was dizzying for a moment. He stepped inside and looked around, but the room was empty.

“What the fuck?” he muttered. 

There was a Welsh dresser to the left of him cluttered with pictures and the first thing to jump out at him was Bernice. An old framed photo of his air head stepsister – he remembered the hairdo… He limped over, afraid to look, but unable to tear his eyes away. There was a photo of his father and Diane; of Robert on his father’s shoulders; and there, a group shot of the Dingles: Lisa, Zak, Cain, and the rest of them; a picture of smiling boy with spiky gelled hair in a footie uniform, recognisably Aaron; and shoved in at the back, a photo of Robert, fifteen, in his baggy jeaned finest. His hand shook as he reached in, knocking other frames aside, and pulled it out.

“What the _fuck_?” he said again, with feeling.

The far door opened and he looked up, photo in his hand, his mouth half open. A dark-haired woman stopped short when she caught sight of him.

“What the hell’re you...” she started.

He stared back at her. “Ch… Chas?” he murmured. He dropped the frame back onto the dresser like it burnt him. She stared wide-eyed at him.

The door on the other end of the room opened and they both turned silently and watched Aaron come in.

“Hey,” Aaron said, and smiled quickly, glancing nervously between the two of them. “You’re up. I went out and got some painkillers. Er, you all right?”

“Chas, can you come help me with this delivery?” a new voice called. Robert’s heart skipped a beat. This was some sort of crazy, trauma-induced nightmare, clearly. Right?

“Chas?” Footsteps creaked outside the door and then there she was, Diane. She filled the doorway beside Chas for a moment, and then, “ _Robert?_ Oh my God, what happened to you?”

She rushed up to him and hugged him; he choked back a yelp as Chastity fucking Dingle said, “Aaron, what is Robert Sugden doing in my pub?”

There was long pause, as Robert extricated himself from Diane, before Aaron said, “Mum.”

Mum. _Mum_. Aaron, a Dingle.

“This is the bloke you brought back last night?” Chas continued. Robert jerked his head back to Aaron, who looked cornered. “I heard you talking to him last night. Is this who you’ve been running off to see every other week?”

“ _What_?” Robert all but shrieked. He could hear the panic in his voice and tried to force it back in its box. “As if.”

Diane touched his face while Chas and Aaron stared each other down. “Pet, what happened to you?”

“I… got mugged.”

“And what does this have to do with my son?” Chas said. “How do you two even know each other?”

“We...” Shit, he thought, think fast. “...ran into to each other. And, _obviously_ , we recognised each other.”

“In Manchester?” Chas said, and looked back to Aaron, who edged closer to them. “That’s where you’ve been going, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Aaron said, his voice wavering. He cleared his throat. “Yeah, ran into him in a bar. The great Robert Sugden.”

“What were you doing in Manchester?” Diane asked Robert.

“Meeting with investors,” he said quickly. “We’re looking into developing a new block of flats, been back and forth a bit. Got mugged last night on the way back to my hotel, called Aaron ‘cause… well, this is home, isn’t it?”

Chas scoffed and shook her head, but Diane shushed her. “Robert, you need to go to hospital.”

“I’ve already been, nothing broken.”

Diane gestured to his brow. “And they didn’t even give you any stitches?”

“NHS,” Robert said, and forced a laugh. “Sit there for hours and get sent away with some paracetamol and a prayer. Eh, Aaron?” He glanced back at Aaron and widened his eyes.

“Yep. Yeah. You know the NHS...”

“Oi!” someone shouted from the front of the pub. “Anyone coming to take this delivery or what?”

Diane sighed and shook her head. “They’ve royally cocked up the liquor order. Can you come help me with it, Chas?”

Chas stared Robert down for a moment before nodding. Diane patted him on the shoulder and promised him a hot breakfast when she got back. They bustled out, Chas still eyeballing him like she was planning a hit on his life, and Aaron hurried forward when they went out the door, closing it over. They stood there in silence for minute before Robert burst.

“What the _hell_?” he hissed. “What are you playing at? Did you know who I was the whole time?”

“No!” Aaron said, sounding offended. 

“How could you not?”

“How could _you_ not?” Aaron batted back.

“You said your surname was ‘Livesy’!”

“It is – my father’s name, genius,” Aaron said

“Oh,” Robert said, momentarily silenced. “Well… I thought your lot just interbred between cousins.” At the curl of Aaron’s lip, Robert swallowed and gestured to the dresser. “There’s a picture of me on the shelf,” he said, and snatched it back up, shoving it into Aaron’s hands.

Aaron looked down at it for a moment and frowned. “You think I just spend my evenings browsing through old photos? Anyway, you look pretty different these days. Hair’s lighter now, for a start.”

Robert cleared his throat. “It’s just… Sun In,” he muttered, and Aaron snorted. “But we’ve… met before, haven’t we? Andy’s wedding, wasn’t it?”

Aaron narrowed his eyes in thought. “Tragic mullet?”

Robert clenched his jaw, but that just made his face throb more. “Yes.”

Aaron smiled, his expression lightening. “I was a kid, didn’t give you a second thought. I guess it’s just fate.”

“More like Sod’s Law,” he relented. Aaron was telling the truth; Robert didn’t think he was that good a liar.

Aaron’s face fell a little and he stood the photo back up on the dresser. “Yeah, maybe. Here, I got you Solpadeine, for your… face. It’s got codeine in it, you all right with that?”

Robert took the bag and nodded. “Yeah, that’s good, thanks. Aaron--”

Aaron shrugged and went to the kitchen. “‘sall right. They’re the family who know nothing about you, eh?” He opened the fridge and took out a carton of orange juice, holding it up to Robert. Robert shook his head.

“Yeah, they still think I live in London. That I’m a high-flying property developer,” he said.

Aaron stuck his head back in the fridge. “You’re a good liar, even I almost believed it.” His tone was bitter, clipped, and Robert’s heart pounded faster in his chest.

“You can’t tell them, Aaron. If you tell them--”

“I won’t.” Aaron slammed the fridge shut and rubbed at his face. He looked exhausted. Robert wondered how much sleep he’d had after they got back here. “I won’t. I don’t come out of this very well either, right? But you better prepare yourself, because Vic works here and she’ll be in soon.”

“You know Vic well?”

Aaron shrugged. “We’re mates. We… used to date, before...” He made a vague hand gesture.

Robert chewed on that for a moment. “You’re that toerag who treated her like shit, then came out, aren’t you?”

Aaron at least had the good sense to look embarrassed. “Yeah.”

“Jesus.” He shook his head. “This is crazy.”

“Tell me about it,” Aaron muttered.

-

Robert decided a shower was in order before facing the onslaught that was his sister. It was bracing, to say the least; even lukewarm water made his skin sting. He’d taken a couple of Solpadeine before getting in, though, so he felt a bit loopy, and walked dizzily back to Aaron’s room. All the clothes he’d packed were nice ones, fitted shirts and expensive jackets – he had to look nice for Chrissie, after all – and nothing comfortable enough to wear with his injuries. He liked the jumper Aaron had given him, though, it was soft and smelt like the cheap body wash he found in the bathroom, so he slipped it back on along with a clean pair of jeans, then negotiated his way back downstairs.

Vic was already there, and barrelled into him, talking a mile a minute. Diane, who was cooking him a fry up, had filled her in, but she still had a hundred questions. Aaron had work, but he looked at Robert funny when he saw him still in the jumper. Robert shrugged, and Aaron grunted that he’d be back later.

Vic didn’t notice the atmosphere between them and insisted that Robert stay with her, at Keepers, which she owned, she proudly told him. He vaguely remembered her telling him that in one of her long emails, a couple of years back now, but his mind had been on other things.

“I know you probably own like five flats,” she said, “but it’s a big deal to me.” 

“It is a big deal,” he said, and smiled. If only she knew. 

It made sense, him staying with her, even if he wanted to stay at the pub with Aaron. That was hardly likely to alleviate suspicions and there was no way he could explain why. Anyway, Chas would do her nut if he stayed. Vic had called Andy, she said, and him and Katie would be round later.

“We went to the cemetery a couple of days ago,” she said softly, “to lay flowers on Dad’s grave. You just missed it.”

The anniversary of his father’s death, he realised suddenly. He hadn’t even remembered; all he’d been able to think about was Aaron and how much he wanted to see him, how good he felt under Robert’s hands, how close he was to saying three words he hadn’t said to anyone in years and meant, how easy it was to throw out all his rules and plans for this man. It was certainly one way to commemorate his father’s memory.

“You should have come to the wedding,” she continued.

He’d have rather plucked his own eyelashes out, but he smiled apologetically. “Work.”

What kind of idiots had their wedding on Christmas Day, anyway? That was just inconsiderate, interrupting the day like that. He’d spent it alone in his flat, since Connor had gone to be with his family, but that wasn’t the point; it was about the principle of the thing.

Vic set him up at a table for her shift, and he got strange looks from the villagers, some he recognised, some he didn’t. Chas gave him evils from the bar and he got a surprised wave from Ashley. Robert waved back – who didn’t like the vicar? Vic’s boyfriend, the alleged best mate of Aaron, came and gawped at him for a bit, before cheerfully asking him if his face hurt. He was nice to look at, Robert could obviously appreciate that, but there wasn’t much going on upstairs. He shuffled away with his pint after a few monosyllabic replies from Robert and a good thing it was too.

“Robert Sugden, as I live and breathe,” Nicola announced, suddenly filling his view. “I heard you were back. You look terrible.”

He looked up at her and saluted with his glass. “You too.”

She pursed her lips at him as a big, dumb voice complained, “ _Nico_.”

“In a minute, Jimmy,” she snapped.

Robert held his breath, his palms starting to sweat as Jimmy came into view behind her. He’d spent months after he left expecting the police at his door, or the Kings. He’d fled all the way to Spain, back into the comforting arms of Annie Sugden – who eyed him on her doorstep and simply said, ‘what have you got yourself into this time, lad?’ – in the hopes that he wouldn’t be found. But no one was looking for him and eventually the paranoia had subsided. Until now.

“You look rough, mate,” Jimmy said amiably. “How long you back for?”

Robert looked down at his half empty glass for a second. “Dunno.”

“Illuminating,” Nicola said, and gestured to the bar. “Come on, Jimmy.”

Jimmy pulled a face behind her back and shuffled off after her. Robert watched for a moment before taking a breath.

“Jimmy,” he said, and cursed himself for prolonging this.

Jimmy turned back to him. “Yeah?”

“I was...” He swallowed a little. “...sorry to hear about Carl. And your dad.” And Max. He was sorry about Max.

Jimmy didn’t suspect a thing, it was obvious from his face. No hard feelings about getting gored with a pitchfork, either. He shrugged and smiled. “Thanks. Good to see you.”

“Yeah, you too,” Robert muttered and went back to staring at his beer. He was drinking it slowly because he didn’t want to go back up to the bar and face them all again: Chas, Diane, Victoria, even Marlon. Everyone had questions and his story was paper thin and full of holes.

The pub door swung open and Aaron stomped in, his overalls shrugged down to his waist, the sleeves tied around the front. He looked better in them than Robert ever had. Behind him was Cain, and there easily could have been a black cloud floating over the two of them, but that was par for the course with Cain, he supposed. 

Robert lifted his glass to his mouth, hoping to catch Aaron’s eye, which he did. Aaron looked at him, then went up to the bar and nodded hello to some speccy kid who practically had his tongue hanging out, then took the pint Chas placed in front of him and came over.

“Thought you were staying with Vic.” He stood in front of the table, shifting slightly from foot to foot.

“I am, she wanted to keep an eye on me till her shift is over. Sit down?”

Aaron dropped heavily into the opposite chair. “You probably shouldn’t drink with those pills you took this morning.”

The effect of the codeine and the beer was quite pleasant, actually, but it had worn off a while ago. “I’m fine. You do look good in your overalls.”

Aaron smiled wanly. “Thanks.”

“So.” Robert glanced back at Cain, who gave him a dead-eyed stare. “Cain’s your...”

“Uncle, yeah. You know him much?”

Robert tried not to cringe too visibly. “We got into some trouble together, back in the day.”

“You got into ‘some trouble’ with most in the village, didn’t you?”

“Yeah… How’s your grandad? I thought I’d see old Shadrach in here by now, propping the bar up.” It was almost five, after all; that was starting late for him, from what Robert recalled. 

“Dead,” Aaron said flatly. “Marlon found him face down in the river five years back.”

“Oh, er… Sorry.”

Aaron shrugged. “I didn’t have much to do with him. Didn’t have much to do with my mum back then, either.” He definitely had a cob on, Robert wasn’t sure there was anything he could say that would thaw him out.

“How was work?”

“It was work,” Aaron muttered. “Have you heard from your flatmate?”

Robert shook his head. What if Connor was lying in a hospital somewhere, or dead in a ditch? “I tried calling a couple of times, but my phone’s run out of battery and I think the charging bit got damaged when it was smashed.”

Aaron looked at him like he was stupid. “Try him on another phone.”

“I don’t know his number.”

Aaron’s facial expression didn’t change.

“Rob?” a voice called behind him. Aaron raised his eyebrows and Robert turned in his seat: Andy and Katie winding their way towards the table. Katie had hardly changed, except she was dressed like an equestrian lady of the manor instead of the denim jackets and t-shirts of their youth. She was as beautiful as she ever was. Andy still had a big, stupid face.

“Aaron,” Katie said sweetly, when they reached the table.

“Hey,” he replied. How well did he know them, Robert wondered. Well enough to choose their side over his?

“Vic wasn’t kidding that you got mugged, eh?” Andy said.

Good one, Sherlock, very observant, Robert thought, but didn’t say. “Yeah.”

“They get much?”

“Wallet, smashed my phone.” That was near to the truth, anyway – he still had his wallet, just no money inside it any more.

“And _Aaron_ saved you,” Katie added.

“We ran into each other a while back, funny coincidence. Thought I’d come back and recover in the bosom of my loving family.” He flashed his teeth as he smiled and Katie rolled her eyes. “Sorry to have missed the wedding, sure it was lovely, in the church hall.” Not that Andy had wanted him there, clearly.

Andy didn’t take the bait. “It’s all right,” he said. He looked uncomfortable, like he wanted to have a go, but couldn’t because Robert was an invalid.

“Normally when people miss weddings, they buy something off the registry,” Katie said, with a vicious look in her eyes. “Especially someone as flash as you.” She gave him a quick once over; he was looking decidedly un-flash right now, with his battered face and Aaron’s bobbly jumper. He forced himself to hold her gaze.

“Well, I wouldn’t know anything about weddings, would I, Katie?”

“And whose fault is that?” she said.

He stood up abruptly, his head swimming for a moment – obviously the effects of the Solpadeine hadn’t worn off quite as much as he thought – and towered over her. She wasn’t fazed. Andy put his arm around her and drew her in, like Robert was going to hit her, or something. Robert wasn’t the one who hit women.

“As nice as this has been,” he said, and blinked away the spots in his vision, “I’m gonna go.”

He pushed past them and went up to the bar unsteadily. 

“What do you want?” Chas said.

“Er,” he murmured, and blinked hard. “Vic.”

She turned and yelled for Victoria, who burst out of the back with a scowl on her face. “Your brother wants you.”

“Oh! Are you okay?” she asked, her eyebrows knitting together worriedly.

He leant against the bar for support. “Can I have your keys? I think I need to lie down.”

“You can lie down in the back,” she said, though the glare from Chas said otherwise.

“I’d prefer somewhere quiet.”

She pursed her lips, then sighed. “All right, hang on,” she said, and went into the back again.

Robert dropped his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. This was the last place in the world he ever wanted to come back to, and now here he was, surrounded by the gossips and the prying eyes of the village. It was suffocating. He was suffocating while everyone looked on, commenting on the lack of air.

“You all right?” Aaron asked softly. Robert jerked in surprise and looked at him; how long had he been there for? “Sorry,” he murmured.

“I’m fine.”

Vic came out again and dropped her keys on the bar. “There you go. Don’t fall asleep, though, you’ll have to let me in later.”

“I’ll get your bags and come over with you,” Aaron said, and went around the bar.

“Okay,” Robert said, not sure who he was replying to.

Vic’s eyes went soft. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

He rubbed at his forehead and tried to smile. “I’m fine, Vic.”

She hummed softly and followed Aaron. He thought he heard Aaron say, “I’ll stay with him.”

-

They walked over to Keepers in silence, Robert still dizzy enough that he had to concentrate on his walking. Aaron took the keys and opened the door, letting Robert in first. Robert stood in the little hallway for a moment, before Aaron put his hands on his shoulders and guided him into the living room. “Through here,” he said.

The living room was chintzy and cluttered, like the farmhouse had been, two broken in couches, a dining table squeezed into the corner, a sign on the wall that said ‘Notting Hill’. Robert had got her that when he’d lived there, five to a house with Connor. At the carnival, they’d drank and smoked and partied, the bass music vibrating in Robert’s body so hard that he thought he might have a heart attack, from that or from the pill Connor had put on his tongue, or from the all-encompassing love he suddenly felt for him, filling him up like his heart would explode from it. He remembered endless days of heaving bodies in the street, sweat mixing together, people in and out of their house, charging them for a piss in their disgusting toilet, the bass pounding his chest when he slept, if he slept.

“I went and stayed at the Dorchester,” he told Vic afterwards, lying flat on his and Connor’s mattress on the floor, frozen by the weight of misery on top of him, fatigue keeping him still, anxiety stopping him from falling asleep. It’d wear off, Connor had told him flippantly, too much X would do that to you. “You can’t stay around here when the carnival’s on.”

She’d loved that sign.

“Sit down?” Aaron murmured.

Robert shook himself and sat down on the couch. Aaron put the bags down nearby and stood to the side, looking at him. “So,” he said. “Your name’s really Robert, then.”

He nodded and looked up at Aaron. “I’m not very creative. Didn’t think it’d come up.”

Aaron smiled quickly. “Andy’s the adopted brother?”

“Yeah.”

“And he really shot Jack?”

Robert twitched; ‘ _really_ ’, that was the operative word. Could dependable, hard-working, salt of the earth Andy Sugden _really_ have shot their father? “Yes,” he said through a clenched jaw.

“Does Vic know?”

“No.”

“And your mum dying… I heard people talk, when I moved here...”

Robert nodded. Seven years after her death, and only a few months into of a three year sentence, Andy had ‘served his time’, he was _forgiven_. Robert remembered Vic calling him, back then in 2007, desperate to know how Mum had really died, but she was only thirteen and he couldn’t bring himself to tell her, to destroy her relationship with the brother who’d stuck around – because surely she would never be able to forgive him for it, that it would eat her up inside like it did Robert. Only she did forgive him. She forgave him and they were a happy family.

“He killed my mum,” Robert muttered.

Aaron sat down beside him, the cushion tipping Robert towards him slightly. He put his hand on Robert’s back. “I’m sorry.”

“You friends with him?” Robert asked.

“Er, I wouldn’t say friends. He hated me when I dated Vic. Mum and Katie are bezzies, though.”

“She’s a bitch,” Robert said, and looked at him. “Katie, not your mum.” His mum was too, but you couldn’t say that about someone's mum and not expect a punch.

“She’s all right,” Aaron said softly, and rubbed circles on his back.

She was not ‘all right’, but he was too tired to argue it. He slumped down into the cushions and Aaron leant back with him, his fingers slipping into Robert’s hair. Robert closed his eyes and rested his head against Aaron’s shoulder.

“You staying?” he mumbled.

“Till Vic gets back,” Aaron said, and scratched his fingernails gently into Robert’s scalp. “Her shift doesn’t end for a couple hours.”


	7. Chapter 7

He got back into the pub past seven. Vic had offered to make him tea, while Robert was spark out on the settee, lying on his side where Aaron had arranged him when he heard the knock at the door, but he’d waved her off. She was grateful he’d stayed, and wondered at what he’d done while Robert slept.

“Just played on my phone and raided your biscuits,” he said. He had played with his phone, on silent, but hadn’t moved for the two hours, while Robert dozed.

“You’re back then,” Mum said, when he came in around the back. He’d hoped that she’d be in the bar, serving, but she’d been fully on his case today about everything, so he wasn't really surprised.

“Nah, I’m one of them optical illusions,” he said.

Mum pursed her lips. “What’s this friendship with Robert about?”

“What does that mean?”

“I just can't believe you didn't think to mention it earlier. You know what he did to Katie, and to half the girls in the village: he’s a scumbag. Just because he was a nice face doesn’t change that.”

“You what?”

She sighed and went into the kitchen, taking out a mug from the rack. “His bags were in your room.”

“Well, I couldn’t put him on that, could I?” he said, tipping his head to the settee. “I slept down here.”

She raised an eyebrow – had she come down in the night last night and knew he was lying? – but didn’t comment, instead taking the kettle to the sink and filling it up. “I knew Robert before, remember,” she said, shutting the tap off. “I don’t want you to get into trouble again.”

He cringed at the thought of his mum and Robert – had Robert ever come on to her? That seemed to be his normal MO, according to stories: any woman with a pulse. Any man, too, maybe. “Why would I get in trouble?”

“Fancying a straight man? Remember what happened with Adam?”

“This is nothing like me and Adam,” he said, and clenched his fists to control the jitteriness that was starting to course through him. “I’m gonna have a bath,” he added, and turned away.

“What about your tea?” Mum called.

“I’ll make something later,” he called back, feet already on the stairs.

-

He didn’t see Robert for the next few days – convalescing, Vic said, feeling very sorry for himself. Half the village was talking about his return; in the aisles at David’s, Aaron heard people whispering, ‘didn’t he…?’, ‘him and Katie, they were…’, ‘how long do you think…?’. Aaron wanted to tell them to shut it, but obviously he couldn’t. Cain scowled and said he should steer well clear, Bernice tried to be nice about it, Diane sighed and said he was a good lad, deep down.

Adam was upset for an entirely different reasons.

“Now I’ve got _two_ big brothers to win over?” he said, shaking his head into his beer. “Mate, why did you bring him here?”

“Sorry to ruin your plans,” he replied. He rolled his bottle of lager between his palms and watched Andy and Katie across the pub, standing close. They were one of those love stories, his mum made out, childhood sweethearts. Aaron had never given much thought to them before; he knew about the fire and all that, but Vic had forgiven Andy, and it had been an accident, after all. Robert obviously didn’t see it that way.

“Yeah, you should be! So, what’s he like? He didn’t seem to like me very much. Vic says he’s a big cheese down in London.”

“‘A big cheese’?” Aaron repeated with a laugh.

“You know what I mean. What’s he like?”

Aaron shrugged. “He’s all right. Bit of a ponce.”

“And you met him…?”

Aaron took a drink from his bottle. “In a bar. I was out on the pull, he was… celebrating a deal with his mates. I, er, recognised him from Diane’s pictures in the back.” He wiped his mouth and gestured past the bar with his bottle. 

“A gay bar?” Adam said, his eyes bright with laughter. He was only taking the piss, Aaron knew, and tried to respond in kind.

“Yeah, dancing on the table, he was.”

Adam laughed and shook his head. “Why’d he ring you when he got mugged?”

“Dunno. First name in his contacts, I guess. I’m the first in everyone's, aren’t I? Get pocket-dialled enough.”

“I guess. Don’t see how I’m going to impress a flash, poncy property developer, though.”

“Just be yourself,” Aaron said flatly, and Adam shook his head in disgust.

-

The next time he saw Robert, he was in a t-shirt and jeans, the plainest outfit he’d ever seen him wear, other than Aaron’s own jumper, which he had not returned. His face was livid with bruises, worse than before, and he was moving slowly, limping slightly. Aaron watched all this from behind the bonnet of a car, his wrench in hand. He was pretty sure he couldn’t be seen from this vantage point, but Robert still approached the mechanics, looking up at the sign with a slight smile.

Aaron stepped out from behind the car. “Hey,” he called, “you all right?”

Robert smiled wider, although it looked painful, the way it pulled at his cut lip. “My face actually feels a lot better, not that you’d know.”

“Taking a while to come out, I guess. The bruises.”

Robert nodded absently and glanced around. “I used to work here, you know.”

“Yeah?”

“Back when it was Scott’s. I even bought into it for a while, gave your uncle a job, but it didn’t work out.”

“Scott?”

Robert came closer, his eyes on the car. “Scott Windsor. Before your time, I guess.” 

Aaron felt a pang at the name, ‘Windsor’; he must have been related to Donna somehow. He still couldn't stand to see Marlon around the village with April. “Yeah,” he muttered.

Robert looked back at him, that same intense look on his face as the first time, even if it was marred slightly by the state of him. Aaron took a breath.

“Brew?”

“You alone?”

Aaron nodded; Dan had cried off work with a stomach bug, and Cain and Ross wouldn’t come in to cover, so it was all him today. Robert smiled and came inside.

He seemed relieved to be able to sit, when Aaron brought out his tea, leaning back against a work bench, accepting the mug. He grimaced slightly at the taste, but didn’t comment.

“You’re really okay?” Aaron asked.

Robert shrugged. “Everything hurts, but other than that… Messed up my knee a bit, makes it kind of hard to walk.”

“And you won’t go to the doctor?”

Robert smiled around the rim of the mug. “Nope.”

“You’re an idiot,” he said, and slid closer, resting his fingers on Robert’s thigh. Robert smiled slyly and Aaron let his fingers drift higher for a moment, until they were interrupted by Debbie’s foghorn voice. He whipped his hand back and slid a couple of inches away again.

“Oi, it’s not your break yet,” she said, rounding the car.

“I’ve been working all day with Dan off sick, don’t have a go,” he said.

She narrowed her eyes, but it wasn’t him she was looking at. “Robert,” she said shortly. “I heard you were back.”

Robert put the mug down carefully, a look passing between them that Aaron didn’t understand. “Yeah. Hi.”

She pursed her lips and glared at Aaron. “Five minutes.”

He nodded, and Debbie started to walk away, but Robert leant forward. “Debbie,” he said, and she stopped, turning her head to him. “I heard about Sarah, I’m glad she’s doing better now.”

That was right, Aaron suddenly thought, Robert was Sarah and Jack’s uncle. That kind of made him and Robert related, in typical Emmerdale style. What a thought.

She tipped her head up and sniffed, then walked away without a word.

“Er...” Aaron murmured, watching her go. “What was all that about?”

Robert’s eyebrows shot up. “You don’t know?”

“Know what?”

“Me and Debbie,” Robert started and Aaron groaned.

“You dated her?” At Robert’s nod, he rolled his eyes. “Who _haven’t_ you dated?”

“Never had a crack at your mum,” he said with a smile. “Or your uncle.” 

Aaron wasn’t much impressed by that and Robert sobered. “Sorry.”

“Was it serious?”

“Well… No one’s really ever talked about it?”

“Didn’t I just say that?”

Robert stared at him for a moment, then worried the cut on his lip with his tongue. Aaron wanted to tell him to leave it, but maybe that wasn’t his place. “I was going to take her and Sarah to London with me,” he said.

“You and Max?” Now that he knew that Robert was from the village, he wondered who this Max guy was – he didn’t remember ever hearing the name before, but he must have been a villager.

Robert’s expression clouded for a second, then he nodded. “But I… I was just using her to get at Andy. I wanted to take his daughter away from him.”

“That’s horrible,” Aaron said. What kind of person would do a thing like that?

“I know, I’m not proud of it, you know. Andy rumbled us and-- well, it didn’t happen, did it?”

“Did you have sex with her?” he asked. Robert pulled a face that clearly meant yes. “How old was she?”

“Sixteen, it was legal,” Robert insisted. “Andy got her up the duff at fifteen, you know.”

Aaron’s stomach turned a bit at the ‘legal’ part; that was all that mattered, wasn’t it? “I’m not talking about Andy. How old were you?”

“Nineteen. She looks like she’s doing all right for herself now.”

“Yeah, well, she’s had a really rough go of it,” Aaron replied and pushed himself up from the bench. “I have to get back to work.”

Robert followed him up stiffly. “Come on, Aaron...”

Aaron shrugged. “Some of us work for a living,” he said, turning back to the car.

Robert was silent for a moment, before taking a breath. “Right-o,” he said, “I’ll be off then.”

That was below the belt, Aaron knew, and bit back an apology as he watched Robert go. He’d thought he knew Robert before, the stuff that mattered, at least, but the more stories he heard about him, the more uncomfortable he got. Had everything about Robert been a lie? He shook his head and went back to the engine.

-

He was still working after it got dark, feeling sweaty and irritable. He’d seen Dan hurrying across the village, not looking like he had problems with either end of him. Some shit with Kerry, then, he assumed, and went a bit harder at the crankshaft than necessary. 

He was holding his tongue with a customer who was trying to nitpick costs when he saw Robert lingering a few feet away. When the guy finally got in his car and pissed off, Robert approached. Aaron turned away and started pulling the doors closed; he was not in the mood for this.

“Thought he’d never leave,” Robert said.

“What do you want?” he said to the door, slapping the padlocks in place.

“Got you a butty, thought you might be hungry,” Robert said, and held up the wrapped sandwich when Aaron looked over his shoulder.

“Why?”

Robert shrugged, looking away. “Maybe it’s a peace offering.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” he said, and ducked through the hatch, Robert on his heels.

“Yeah, well,” Robert muttered, and followed him into the office, putting the sandwich down on a desk.

Aaron sighed. “What do you want, Robert?” he repeated.

“Look.” Robert crossed his arms over his chest with a wince and looked at him with seriously. “You’re going to hear a lot of things you won’t like about me, living in this village. I just want to know if you’re gonna be okay with that.”

“I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m going to be okay with it. Your family doesn’t even know you’re bi.”

“They don’t have to know everything, do they?” Robert said and came closer, till they were almost nose to nose.

Aaron felt the same thrill as ever go through him, at the heat of Robert’s body, the smell of him, and when Robert uncrossed his arms and curled his hands around Aaron’s hips, he didn’t stop himself from falling into him again; couldn't, maybe. He tried to be tender, in deference to Robert’s injuries, but Robert pushed in harder, grunting in pain or pleasure, and led him back out of the office. They kissed against a car for a few minutes, Robert running his hands all over him before he moved back and pulled his t-shirt off. He struggled a bit and Aaron helped, sliding it up his chest, which was still purple and green with bruises. Robert tugged it off over his head and smoothed his hair, then dived back in with even more intensity, clutching at Aaron’s overalls. Aaron got his hands around Robert’s face and pushed him back gently.

“What’re you doing?”

Robert smirked. “I think you’re a bit late for the birds and the bees, Aaron.”

“You’re hurt,” Aaron said, gesturing to his chest. “No way you’re up for it.”

“Oh, I’m _up_ for it,” he said, and from a quick glance at his jeans, he was. “But all right, I’ll just suck you off instead.”

Aaron had a sudden horrible image of Robert’s lip popping open while stretched around his dick. He shook his head and reached around Robert to open the car door. “Lie down.”

Robert raised his eyebrows, but went willingly, stretching out languidly, his legs sprawled out the door. He watched with his tongue between his teeth as Aaron opened his fly for him and tugged his jeans off, only lifting his hips a little to help.

“Lazy,” Aaron said, hooking his fingers around the waistband of Robert’s boxers.

“I thought I was an invalid,” Robert said, crossing his arms behind his head, smug as anything.

Aaron settled himself on his knees over Robert and pressed his hands to Robert’s thighs, spreading them further apart. Robert breathed out heavily and rolled his hips again as Aaron pulled his boxers down and took Robert’s dick in his hand. He lingered awhile, jerking Robert idly.

“Get on with it, will you?” Robert groaned.

“Yeah? Think you can handle it?”

Robert snorted derisively. “Don’t flatter yourself, mate.”

He was laughing out of the other side of his face ten minutes later, his legs wrapped around Aaron’s shoulders, his fingernails scrabbling fruitlessly at the car door. He moaned like a porno, doing a terrible job of keeping quiet each time Aaron pulled off and shushed him. It wasn’t so much about people hearing as it was the pained little sounds he made when he tried, which got Aaron harder and harder, until he was jerking himself off with one hand, while he squeezed Robert’s balls with the other.

Robert came with a shuddery groan, filling Aaron’s mouth, and Aaron came a moment later, all over the inside of his overalls. He kept sucking for a minute, riding it out with Robert, before he sat back, wiped his mouth, and tucked Robert back into his boxers.

“So?”

“You’re all right,” Robert said, his voice reedy and strung out.

Aaron laughed and stood up. “All right, on your bike.”

“Eh?” Robert said, his voice going high.

“Come on, I’ve got stuff to finish up.”

“I don’t think I can walk after that.”

Aaron grinned and reached in, grabbing Robert’s hand to haul him up. “You’re fine. I’ve gotta detail this car again, haven’t I?”

Robert scooted to the edge of the back seat and sighed. “T-shirt?” he asked, and Aaron grabbed it off the floor and tossed it to him. He put it back on with a grunt and stood up, pulling his jeans up and zipping the fly. He flicked his eyes up at Aaron. “Can I see you tomorrow?”

“Dunno, maybe,” Aaron said, holding back a smile.

Robert stared at him and ran his tongue along his bottom lip slowly, then took a step forward and dragged Aaron against him again. He spun them round, pushing Aaron against the car, and kissed him until Aaron could feel it in his toes, then stepped back and winked. “Don’t forget the butty,” he said, and headed for the door.

“Yeah...” Aaron murmured, and tried to remember to breathe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quickie, so to speak, before we move the plot along a bit.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content: homophobic language, melodrama

He’d been back for two weeks, living entirely off his sister, and his excuse that the bank hadn’t sent him his new cards was starting to wear thin, especially after her stupid boyfriend piped up that when he lost his debit card – down the back of the settee, eventually found months later – _his_ bank got it to him in a couple of days. Robert shrugged and Adam seemed nervous enough not to push it.

Still, it wasn’t a long term solution. Robert had borrowed twenty quid off Vic so far, all on the promise of reimbursement, to buy toiletries and that sandwich for Aaron. Vic wasn’t concerned, it was only twenty, after all, wouldn’t break her bank, but Robert knew that, as it was, he didn’t have a hope of paying her back. All he had was some stray five pence pieces he’d found in the pocket of his backpack. 

Vic had lent him a crappy old flip phone as well and he’d picked up a free SIM from David’s, a pay as you go with a tenner of starter credit on it, like some skint teenager. He kept his old SIM, just in case, though he wasn’t much interested in using the number any more. He already had messages about his next payment, even though he knew that they knew he wouldn’t be able to keep up the schedule any more – clearly that was the con, keep him on the hook for a couple more years. On the other hand, Connor might get in touch and he still wanted to know what had happened to him.

He’d had a few more clandestine meetings with Aaron since the garage, but couldn't ask him for money, not any more, and he was eating Vic out of house and home, she’d said, maybe a joke, maybe not.

He loaded his old SIM into the phone on Friday morning and scrolled through dozens of texts. There was one from Chrissie, only from last night.

_Are you all right, darling? I have a party tomorrow I’d like you to come to._

He heard the front door go downstairs and Andy’s stupid voice carried up the stairs, chit-chatting with Vic.

“ _...he here?_ ” Robert heard him say, and set his jaw. 

He copied down Chrissie’s number and put the new SIM back in, then texted her back. He’d been in a bit of an accident, he said, but he was happy to come tonight. She came right back with the details, a fancy party at her family’s house in Manchester, six o’clock.

He had to beg Vic to get Adam to lend him his car, it felt like. It was an important work function, he told her, even though, yes, they’d given him off as much time as he needed. No, the train would take too long, yes, he’d be careful driving. It was humiliating to even have to ask, let alone from Adam, who grinned like he’d got one over on Robert and magnanimously agreed.

“You should really still be resting,” Vic said, tutting, but handed over the keys anyway.

“I’ll be fine,” he promised.

She was working when he had to leave, thankfully, because that meant he could raid her make up bag, smear some concealer on his bruises, and make himself halfway presentable.

He left at four; traffic was light and he arrived with over half an hour to spare. He swung around to his old street, driving past the building. There were no lights on in the window of their flat and he wasn’t about to stop and investigate. Connor was the only one on the lease, since Robert’s credit was so bad, and the landlord barely knew he existed, or had ever cared, so it wasn’t like Robert had any responsibility for the flat. He wasn’t sure he had any responsibilities towards Connor either, the way things had been between them.

He arrived at the house a few minutes early, in Adam’s old banger, and got a snooty look from the parking attendant. He rolled the window down.

“Robert Jensen,” he said, and the attendant consulted a list for a moment.

“You can park… over there,” he said, gesturing to the far side of the drive.

The walk from the car and up the considerable number of steps to the front door was enough to make his chest burn. He stopped in the foyer, willing away the sudden light-headedness; he’d been to the house a handful of times and had always appreciated it, when he wasn’t seeing spots.

“Darling!” Chrissie cried, and hurried over to him, dressed to the nines. “I thought it was only a little accident?”

“You should see my steering wheel,” he said, allowing her to kiss him quickly. He’d done a decent job covered the black eye, but there was nothing doing for the cuts. “Nutted it when the idiot in front of me hit the breaks.”

“‘Nutted’?” she repeated with a laugh.

He smiled back thinly as Lawrence and – _oh happy days_ – Rebecca came out to see what was the matter. Chrissie was dressed in a form-fitting black dress, but Rebecca still looked like a Woodstock reject. 

“You’ve been in the wars,” Lawrence boomed. Rebecca batted her eyelashes a little in greeting.

“I’m fine,” he said. “So, what’s the occasion? Chrissie didn’t tell me.”

“Chrissie,” Lawrence admonished. “We’re throwing a bash for our new investors, keeping them sweet. You know how it is.”

“Yeah,” he said. Chrissie had maintained his usual cover of him being a property developer and Lawrence was quite taken with it, and with him. Robert supposed it would ruin his working relationship with Chrissie if he asked her if she knew her father was a bender.

“It’s all very boring,” Rebecca trilled. Robert was sure she was right about that, if not much else.

Lawrence was thankfully called back to the party and Rebecca followed reluctantly, but not before throwing him a wide-eyed stare. He wondered if she could have been any more obvious – he knew she got off on sleeping with her sister’s apparent boyfriend last time they met, but honestly.

“We should go too,” Chrissie said.

“Yeah,” he said, but stopped her with a hand on her arm when she started moving. “It’s three thousand for the party.”

“All right,” she said, looking away. He knew it embarrassed her to talk about money, reminded them both that the line wasn’t that blurred, reminded him that he was still just prostitute and her a jane, but tonight he didn’t care.

“I need it upfront,” he added.

“Are you serious?” she asked, and sighed expansively when he nodded. “Fine. Wait here.”

The party was predictable: wine, awkward conversation, off colour remarks, and him the eye candy on Chrissie’s arm – and maybe not even that at the moment. Rebecca tried to get him on his own a few times, but he evaded her, sober, unlike than everyone else in the room. Chrissie was disappointed when he turned down the offer of going upstairs. It would mean thousands more for the night, but he stalled at the thought of it, even as she kissed him and pawed at his shirt.

“Sorry, Chris,” he said. “I still feel a bit lousy, you know, from the accident.”

“Oh right,” she murmured, her cheeks pinking. “Of course. Get better.”

“Thanks,” he said, and hurried out, the money burning a hole in his pocket, wiping lipstick from his mouth.

He arrived home just before midnight, only a few stragglers left on the street. The lights were on in Keepers, so he assumed Vic was still up. He had his key in the door before he remembered the concealer and wiped it off quickly, then turned the key and stepped in. Inside, the TV was running and he could hear soft talking.

“Hey!” Vic called cheerfully. “I didn’t expect you home so early.”

“Why would I--” he started, but stopped when he stepped into the living room and found Adam and Aaron on the couch with his sister, beers bottled littering the coffee table. “--be late?” he forced out, under the tense stare of Aaron.

“Well, a ‘work party’ you just had to go to,” Vic said and grinned. “Sounded like fun.”

“What kind of _work_ was it?” Aaron said, his voice flat. If Vic and Adam had been sober, Robert was sure they’d feel the tension, but as it was, it seemed to go over both their heads.

He shrugged. “Investors, nothing interesting.”

“Looks like you got in there, though,” Adam said, and gestured vaguely at him.

“What?”

“You’ve got lipstick on your collar,” Aaron said with a hard stare.

Robert tipped his chin down and caught sight of a pink stain. “Just some drunk woman missing my cheek,” he said, cursing the slight waver in his voice.

Aaron kept staring for a second, then stood up abruptly. “I better be off.”

“Oh, Aaron, no!” Vic cried and playfully grabbed at his arm. “Don’t let my big brother spoil our party!”

Aaron smiled at her fondly and patted her hand. “Nah, got a morning shift, haven’t I? Anyway, I’m sure you and Adam can have fun without me.”

Robert grimaced at the thought of _that_ , which he guessed was Aaron’s intention. “I’m going to have a shower,” he said quickly. “I’ll see you out.”

“I know where the door is, mate,” Aaron said, his gaze immediately hardening again.

“Still,” Robert said, and stepped back from the doorway to let Aaron pass. 

When they passed out of sight of the living room, he reached out and touched Aaron’s shoulder, only to be shrugged off. “Aaron!” he hissed, failing to stop him before he opened the front door and stepped out. Robert followed, closing the door over, and grabbed Aaron’s arm, tugging him back.

“Hey, wait.”

Aaron turned back to him and jerked his arm away. “What?” he said, with no inflection at all.

“Don’t be… angry,” Robert muttered.

Aaron snorted humourlessly. “Why should I be angry that you’re fucking your rich bird for money again?”

“I didn’t sleep with her.” Aaron curled his lip at that and Robert moved closer. “I mean it, I was just eye candy.”

“And a kissogram?”

Robert almost laughed at how ridiculous that sounded, but bit his tongue. “I needed the money, okay? I’ve been living off Vic and I’ve got no way to explain why I can’t even afford toothpaste. Look, I’ve got three grand on me now, I can start paying you back.”

“I don’t want your money,” Aaron snapped. “Not everything’s about money.”

Just most things, Robert thought. “So, what do you want me to do?”

“Nothing,” Aaron said, and started to walk away. “I don’t want you to do anything, it’s none of my business. You should have that shower, though, you stink of perfume.”

“Aaron,” Robert called softly, not daring to raise his voice any louder. Aaron didn’t look back.

-

Aaron could certainly hold a grudge. Robert passed by the garage a few times the next morning, hoping to talk to him, but Cain and the little guy were there and Aaron kept his head buried in an engine as if he hadn’t seen him, even though he was out on the forecourt and Robert knew he could.

“Oi,” Cain shouted after his third pass. “What do you want, Sugden?”

Aaron twitched a little but still didn’t look up. Robert was pretty sure he hadn’t told Cain about them, so he guessed the man was just being typically unpleasant. 

“Just going for a walk,” he called back. “It’s a free country.”

“Not that free,” Cain said, and jerked his thumb out. “On your way.”

Robert gave Aaron one last look, then left. He did a small circuit around the village. The place hadn’t outwardly changed that much since he left, aside from Viv’s post office. Still, the place seemed alien to him now; so many people were gone: his father, Kathy, the Tates, all but one of the Kings, Viv, Terry, Betty, Alan, Shadrach, Seth. It wasn’t like he’d cared much for most of them, but it still felt strange, seeing these houses occupied by unfamiliar faces.

He circled the graveyard a few times before passing through the gates. He hadn’t been here since the funeral, laying flowers on his father’s grave. He hadn’t forgotten about his father, that much would always be true, but he wasn’t sure Jack would have appreciated him coming back, to the graveyard or the village in general. God knew, he’d be ashamed of Robert, fucking rich birds for money, fucking a man for fun. Not that there were many ways Robert could have made him proud – spend his whole life on the farm, elbow deep in pig shit, maybe.

He rubbed his hands over his face and into his hair. He could take his three grand and leave now, maybe make peace with his creditors and start paying again, maybe set up somewhere new, Leeds or Liverpool or maybe even back down to London. He could do that, there was nothing holding him back.

Well, not much, anyway.

He heard quiet sniffling nearby. There was a little girl on a bench not too far away, holding a cuddly toy and crying, and from a quick glance around it seemed like they were the only two people there. The kid looked a little young to be out on her own, not that Robert was an expert on kids and their ages. He looked around again, hoping to see someone, even a groundskeeper who he could pass the buck to, but it was just them, the birds, and the cold, February wind.

He walked over, though she didn’t seem to notice, and sat down on the far end of the bench from her, clasping his hands in his lap. Christ, he probably looked like a paedo or something.

“You all right?” he asked.

She wiped her nose on her wrist and sniffed. “No.”

“Right,” he said, and glanced at her. She dug her fingers into the teddy and pouted. “Where are your parents?”

“My mummy’s dead and I can’t find her,” she said, and pointed into the graveyard.

“Oh,” he said, and looked out. She must have meant the headstone. He knew exactly where his mum’s was, at the back by the hedges, three in from the path. “My mum died, too.”

She nodded, clutching the toy to her chest.

“What about your dad?” he continued.

She shrugged.

“Right,” he repeated, and looked ahead again. Now what was he supposed to do? 

He sat for a minute, studying the grass, before he heard voices shouting in the distance, calling out, _April? April!_ They sounded familiar but this far he couldn’t quite place them.

“You April?” he asked, nodding towards the source of the shouting.

She sniffed again. “Yeah.”

“She’s over here,” he shouted, and turned back to her. “I’m Robert.”

She nodded. “I know,” she said. “ You dated my mummy.”

“I did?” he said, but was distracted by Marlon and Paddy running into the graveyard, Marlon striding over like a giraffe. He scooped April up and hugged her close.

“You can’t run away like that again!”

She buried her face in his shoulder and Robert caught something about ‘seeing Mummy’. Marlon pressed a hand to the back of her head and glared at him. “What are you doing here?”

Robert looked around, at the headstones and Paddy twitching nervously beside him. “Visiting my dead parents? No need to thank me.”

“Thanks. Thank you,” Paddy stammered as Marlon whisked April away without a word. “He’s just, uh, she’s gone missing before.”

Robert stood up and Paddy twitched a little more. “Right, well, I thought she was a bit young to be out on her own.”

“Yeah, yeah, well, thank you, I’d better--” He pointed theatrically at Marlon’s departing figure.

Robert stepped forward. “Who’s April’s mother?”

“What?” Paddy blinked rapidly. “Oh, er-- Donna.”

“Donna Windsor?” He’d have known, surely, if Donna had died. Someone would have told him.

Paddy bobbed his head. “Yes, she, uh...”

“When did she die?”

“August last year.”

Robert frowned. “How?”

“She, er, fell off a multi-storey car park,” Paddy said quietly.

Robert almost laughed at how stupid that sounded, but the horror of it dawned on him a moment later. “God, I’m sorry.” Paddy looked a little sceptical at that; Robert set his jaw. “Look, I know I treated her like shit when we were kids, but she was still my mate.”

“Yeah,” Paddy said, then cleared his throat. “Right, well, I should--” He turned towards the entrance, though Marlon and April were long gone. “Oh, I’d better catch up.”

“Yeah,” he replied, and decided to give Paddy a head start, otherwise the awkwardness might be catching.

-

He didn’t get much more than a glimpse of Aaron for another week, if only because he stayed inside mostly and fucked around on the internet – it was sheer dumb luck that his laptop was in his suitcase and hadn’t been trashed. Adam was clearly getting tired of him hanging around all the time when he wanted to get his end away, though Vic said he was welcome as long as he liked. She also asked how long his bosses could do without him.

“Come to the pub later,” she said as she adjusted her uniform. She looked very smart in it and he couldn’t help but smile, though he suppressed it quickly.

“Do I have to?” he said over the lid of his laptop.

She sighed. “It’s not a punishment, first pint is on me.”

“All right,” he allowed. “Maybe.”

“I’ll see you there, then,” she said, like she hadn’t heard that ‘maybe’ at all.

He truly had nothing else to do, though, other than have a wank to his favourite porn sites and watch telly, so he tarted himself up a little and went over at five thirty. He wasn’t looking too bad now, his cuts had healed and his bruises had faded. Diane was behind the bar, and smiled when she saw him, which was more than he could say for most.

“Vic said the first pint was on her,” he said.

“Ah, well, I’ll throw some peanuts in there for free,” Diane said, and slid a packet across the bar.

“Thanks,” he said, and picked them up, then the pint Diane handed him, and looked around the pub. It wasn’t too full, though there were a lot of regulars he’d prefer not to interact with. Aaron was sitting at a table on his own, face like a slapped arse. Robert straightened his back and made his way over.

“This seat taken?” he asked.

Aaron looked at him suspiciously. “Why?”

“Nowhere else to sit,” Robert said breezily. Aaron leant forward and looked around at the empty chairs dotted about the place. “Nowhere that I want to sit,” Robert corrected and tossed the peanuts on the table. “Diane gave me them.”

“Congrats,” Aaron muttered.

Robert sat down and hooked his foot around the bottom of the chair, dragging it closer. “I don’t really like peanuts, you can have them.”

“Wow, cast offs, thanks,” Aaron said, but picked up the packet anyway. Was that a hint of a smile Robert saw?

He was dressed nicely, for Aaron at least, in a tight henley and black jacket. Robert had seen the exact outfit on a few of their dates. “You off somewhere?”

“Hotten,” he said, and opened the packet. “Thought I’d do a bit of bar-hopping.”

Robert raised his eyebrows. “You gonna sleep with some poor sod and never see him again?”

Aaron shrugged and threw a peanut in his mouth. “Maybe.”

“Heartbreaker,” he murmured.

Aaron smiled, though he swiftly hid it with his pint. Robert slid down in his seat a little and nudged his feet against Aaron’s. Aaron didn’t look at him, but he didn’t move his feet away, either. 

They sat in silence for a while, drinking their pints. Katie and Andy came in and Robert watched them for a minute, lavishing attention on each other like they were still teenagers, laughing with Chas. 

“Just ignore them,” Aaron murmured.

Robert looked back at him and smiled. “Yeah. Want another?”

Aaron shrugged his agreement and got up with him, moving over to the bar. Chas looked like she’d sucked a lemon at the sight of the two of them side by side. “Two more,” Aaron said, putting his glass down. Robert followed and sat down on a stool.

Along the bar, one of the other mechanics was nursing a bottle, staring at them.

“You got a problem?” Robert asked. Beside him, Aaron sighed.

The man stood, bringing his bottle over with him. “You’re Robert, right?”

“Yeah. And?”

“Wasn’t that loverboy of yours called Robert, Aaron?” he asked. “Those texts were very flirty.”

Robert stopped breathing, moving his eyes to Aaron, his body perfectly still, as if he could disappear altogether that way. Chas and Diane were at the other end of the bar, out of earshot, he assumed, since they were still happily chatting with love’s young dream. Aaron’s eyes widened slightly, face blank for a second before he snapped out of it.

“Yeah, and there’s only one guy in the north called ‘Robert’,” he shot back, though his voice didn’t sound so confident. “You’ve cracked it, Ross.”

This Ross guy grinned. “Just an observation.”

“Thanks, Sherlock,” Robert managed, though his voice also sounded strange.

“Robert?” another voice said, high-pitched in surprise, on the other side of Aaron. 

Robert jerked and looked over at the woman who spoke, a blonde in a denim jacket; it took a second to place her, but when he did, a cold shock went through him as sure as if someone had dumped ice water down his shirt. Aaron frowned, leaning back a little, and Chas drifted over to the scene.

“ _You’re_ the Robert Sugden everyone's talking about?” the woman asked. God, he didn’t even remember her name, just that she was Nathan’s mate and very well aware of what Robert was.

“You know him, Tracy?” Chas asked. _Tracy_ , that was it. Robert tried to swallow to unstick his dry throat, without much success.

“Yeah, we--”

“Through friends,” Robert said quickly. “You’re friends with my co-worker, Nathan, right, Tracy?”

She blinked, her brow creasing for a second. “Yeah,” she said. “That’s right.”

“How did you meet?” Chas continued. God, what did she know? The look she was giving Tracy… 

“At a party, wasn’t it?” Robert answered again. “We were celebrating finishing one of our new buildings.”

“In London?” Chas asked. “I didn’t know you’d lived down there.”

Tracy laughed awkwardly. “Well, er, I get around. Anyway, I need a wee.” She hopped off her stool and hurried off, Chas watching her suspiciously before turning her critical eye on him. She turned away after a moment, called away by a punter.

“Robert?” Aaron said softly, bumping his hand into Robert’s.

Robert jumped up, not looking at anyone, and went towards the toilets, shoving the door open before Tracy could disappear into the ladies. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her back.

“You can’t say anything,” he said shortly.

She laughed again, nervously, but the sound of it set his teeth on edge. 

He stepped in closer. “If you say anything, I’ll tell everyone about those films you made.”

Her mouth dropped open and behind him the door creaked. He dropped her wrist, but it was only Aaron, stepping into the small hallway, frowning at them.

“What’s going on?”

“Oh, we were just...” Tracy started, but Robert shook his head with a sigh.

“Aaron knows.”

“Oh,” she said, then lit up a little. “Oh! You know, I thought you and Connor were great, but you two are cute together.”

Robert opened his mouth to argue, but what was the point. “You can’t tell anyone, about me or about me and Aaron,” he said. “Please.” 

“I won’t, I’m not thick.” Robert thought that was fairly arguable. “It’s your business.”

“Okay, well, thanks,” he muttered, shoving his hands into his pockets. Now he looked like a right idiot, didn’t he?

The door opened yet again, and Ross peered in, grinning. “Is this a private meeting, or can anyone join in?”

“I just wanted a wee...” Tracy said, and darted into the ladies.

“I’ll piss at home,” Robert said, eyeing Ross’s smug face, and pushed the door open to get past him.

“I’m going to put my tea on,” Aaron said, following him out. He brushed his fingers against Robert’s thigh briefly, before heading through to the back without a backward glance.

Robert went out the front and around the side of the pub, loitering near the parking spaces. The sun was setting, throwing a hazy grey light on the village, easy for him to disappear into shadows and wait. Maybe he’d misunderstood, he thought, after five minutes and no Aaron, or maybe Aaron was taking the piss. Didn’t seem like the type, though.

The side door open and Aaron stepped out, zipping his jacket up. “My mum,” he said, by way of explanation.

Robert nodded and fell into step beside him. They walked away from the pub, up Main Street.

“So, what was all that back there?” Aaron asked. 

“You remember that guy we saw at the bar before I went on the cruise?”

Aaron looked thoughtful for a moment. “Nathan,” he said. “Oh.”

“Yeah. Him and Tracy were mates, I used to see her at parties, although it’s been a while. God knows what she’s doing here, though.”

“She met our Sam on the chat lines,” Aaron said. “Came here to be with him and ripped him off, now she’s back to make amends, I guess.”

“Sam Dingle?”

Aaron narrowed his eyes. “Yeah, my cousin. He’s a good bloke.”

Robert nodded slowly. “Takes all sorts, I guess.”

Aaron blew out a hard breath. “Do you think you’d have a better time in the village if you weren’t such a prick?”

“Probably. Speaking of pricks, what’s the thing with Ape Man back there?”

“Ross?” Aaron pulled a face. “He caught me texting you once and grabbed my phone. Nothing incriminating, or he’d never’ve let me hear the end of it, but I guess he saw your name. Sorry.”

“Nah, it’s all right. You’ll be off the break hearts then, I suppose.”

Aaron shrugged, digging his hands into his pockets. “Dunno, gone off the idea now.”

“Oh yeah, why’s that?” he asked, drifting over enough to bump his shoulder into Aaron’s.

“You want to go somewhere?” Aaron asked, his voice softer, the teasing edge falling away. He wasn’t a tease, Robert thought, and maybe Robert couldn’t treat him like one.

“Where? I don’t feel like going into town and Vic’s probably isn’t a great idea.”

Aaron looked thoughtfully around the village. “Cricket pavilion?”

“God,” Robert said, and laughed. “Been years since I’ve sneaked off there for a quickie. All right.”

“Who said anything about a quickie?” Aaron said, his smile crinkling his eyes up.

The pavilion was occupied by feckless youth, as was tradition, but they ran off when Aaron told them to do one. The benefits of being a Dingle, he said with a smile. The kids had left a bunch of empties behind, but nothing Robert could swipe as they went inside the building. It looked the same as ever, a little kitchenette and some old couches, to the point that Robert wondered if it had been touched since 2005. 

Aaron switched on a light and dropped down on a couch. “Oof,” he muttered, “springs’ve gone.”

Robert sat down beside him, close enough for their thighs to touch. He wasn’t kidding about the couch, there was a spring digging into his arse cheek.

“I got up to some shit here,” he said.

“Me too.” Aaron looked sidelong at him. “You probably don’t want to know with who, though.”

Robert held his gaze. “Best not, eh?”

Aaron snorted and looked around the place. “This place didn’t seem so rubbish when I was seventeen, though.”

“Low standards,” Robert said. He remembered sneaking in here with Donna to get out from under the watchful eye of Viv, the two of them messing around maybe on this very couch. “Hey, did you know Donna Windsor?”

“Donna?” Aaron repeated. “Not… much.”

“We used to date.” He looked ahead as he spoke. He wasn’t proud of how he’d treated her, especially now, hearing how her life had played out. “I just found out she died and feels really weird. No one thought to tell me, but I guess I should have expected that.” He’d asked Vic about it after and she’d been cagey but told him Donna had had terminal cancer – mesothelioma – and Robert wondered if that had anything to do with the cigarettes they used to smoke.

Beside him, Aaron didn’t respond, and when Robert looked at him, he’d pulled his hands into his jacket sleeves, tucking them between his legs. “How much do you know about it?” he said quietly.

Robert blinked in surprise at Aaron’s reaction. “That she fell off a multi-storey car park, but that she had cancer, too.”

Aaron nodded to the floor. “It was my fault,” he said, barely audible.

“Sorry?”

“I--” Aaron glanced at him, then away. “She got mixed up with this guy, this criminal. She was dating Ross and this guy, Gary, he attacked Ross’s younger brother and got away with it. They wanted to take him down; they were searching for evidence in some nightclub and Adam was their lookout, to tell them if the owner came back, but I… I stopped him.” He stopped and swiped at his eyes. “I didn’t want him getting into trouble again, but Gary got wind of it all and… and then--”

Robert reached out and grasped his clenched fists. “That’s not your fault.”

Aaron looked at him, his eyes red-rimmed. “Isn’t it? If I hadn’t stopped Adam, they could have got away.”

“She was terminally ill.”

He shook his head. “She still could’ve had a few more months with April.”

Robert frowned as Aaron looked away. Aaron looked so miserable, he couldn’t stand it. “Remember Max?” he said, his voice almost failing on the name.

Aaron glanced back and wiped the back of his sleeve across his nose. “Yeah?”

“He was Jimmy’s little brother,” Robert said, and took a deep breath. Aaron looked at him in surprise. “And it was my fault he died.”

To say the colour drained from Aaron’s face might have been an exaggeration, but not by much. “What?”

“All that with Debbie, what I did to her? It was all one horrible day.” He pulled his hand away from Aaron’s fists and closed his eyes. He hadn’t thought this much about the whole sorry mess in a decade; there was a skeleton in every closet in this village and he couldn’t escape them. “Me and Max were going to leave together, but I hadn’t told him Debbie and Sarah were coming. She was late, so I kept delaying leaving. Andy got wind of it and she came without Sarah; I didn’t want her if she didn’t have Sarah. Me and Andy got into a fight, Max broke it up and then I guess I’d scared him too much because he got in Andy’s car and I--” He still didn’t know what had come over him, some kind of red mist, the memory of flames licking up the side of the barn, Max siding with Andy. “I got in my car and I drove straight at them,” he said quickly.

“You what?” Aaron said quietly.

Robert risked a look and didn’t like what he saw. He strengthened his voice. “I floored the gas and drove straight at them. They veered off the road and crashed into a wall, flipped the car… I got Andy out, but I was too late for… It exploded with Max in it.”

It was so quiet, he could have heard a pin drop. Aaron took a harsh breath. “Does Debbie know? Vic?”

He shook his head. “Debbie had already left, Victoria was only a kid. It was just my dad and Andy, unless they told someone else, but I doubt it. That’s why I left, Dad said I’d be done for manslaughter; he told me to go and never come back.”

“Why did you do it?”

“I...” He shrugged. “I don’t know. I was so angry at Andy. Everyone always loved him more than me, Dad, Vic, Katie, even Diane. I was Dad’s _real_ son, but no one ever cared about that. He took _my_ mother’s name and gave it to the illegitimate brat he had with a fucking teenager!” His voice was rising, his chest gripped by panic and his eyes welling up. 

Aaron stood up, backing away from him. “That’s… that’s crazy,” he said.

Robert followed him up. _What have you done, you lunatic?_ his father's voice echoed in his head. “I’m not crazy!” he shouted. “He killed my mum!”

“That was an accident,” Aaron replied quietly. “He didn’t mean to kill her, did he?”

An accident? Robert suddenly felt unsteady on his feet, as if Aaron had smacked him around the face, as if the ground beneath him was sliding away. Tears rolled down his face, his heart hammered in his chest. “You’re taking his side, too?” he said, his voice rough and distant to his own ears.

Aaron drew back a little more. “What would you do if I did?”

Robert didn’t understand what Aaron meant for a second, but then it dawned on him, that Aaron thought him capable of… of doing that to him, when all he’d tried to do was make Aaron feel better.

“How can you-- how can you ask me that?”

Aaron was shaking his head, his eyes flickering over Robert’s face like he was reading a book. “What am I supposed to think? That’s not… normal, the way you are with Andy-- you killed someone because of it, for fuck’s sake!”

_That lad’s dead because of you two. You’re not fit to mix with decent people._

That feeling boiled over inside of him again, all that bile and fire. “How can you call me crazy,” he shouted, his face hot with tears, “when you’re a fucking headcase, cutting yourself up like that because you’re a sad homo?”

He didn’t see the punch coming through his blurry eyes; Aaron caught him on the side of the mouth, Robert’s lip smashing his teeth, blood blooming in his mouth. He stumbled sideways, only just managing to catch himself before he fell. Aaron was breathing heavily over him.

“Get out,” he growled.

Robert would have pointed out that the pavilion wasn’t Aaron’s, but he didn’t trust himself to be able to speak through the sobs that still spasmed in his chest. He turned around blindly and fled, all the way back to Keepers without looking up.

Victoria was home when he slammed into the house, but thankfully couldn’t get from the kitchen to the front door before he raced up the stairs and into the spare room. She called after him for a minute, but relented quick enough and left him in peace to cry quietly on his bed like a child.

-

The bruise had set in nicely by the next morning, stretching from the right corner of his mouth down to his jaw, swollen to the touch. His eyes felt dry and itchy, the skin around them tight from crying. He ventured out of his room at six am for a glass of water, then went back up and stayed there till eleven, sleeping on and off. He felt hollowed out from the night before, which at least had stopped the crying, but his stomach couldn’t tolerate much more than the water.

“God, what happened to you?” Vic cried from the table where she was sitting with her laptop as he shuffled into the living room and sat down on the couch. “You didn’t have a fight with Andy, did you?”

“I fell in the shower,” he muttered, and turned the telly on.

“Uh huh, and what about you bursting into the house last night? You’ve been up there since seven last night.”

He shrugged. _This Morning_ was on, Eamonn Holmes droning on about something or other. “I was tired.”

“From bumming around the village all day?” she asked. “Look, Robert, I love having you, but don’t you need to go back to work sometime? What’s happening with your flat?”

“If you want me to leave, Vic, just say so.” 

“That’s not what I’m saying, Rob.” She sighed and got up at a knock at the door. “Honestly, you’re just such a misery sometimes.”

It was Adam, talking at the top of his voice like the whole village wanted to hear his thoughts on the pigs up at Butler’s. Robert turned the TV up until he could barely hear them and Vic yelled at him to stop sulking before they left together.

He turned the telly off after they left and got up. Vic had left her laptop open, Facebook up on the screen, and he saw the top half a photo, Aaron’s face smiling back at him. If only he hadn’t deleted his Facebook, he could have saved himself a lot of heartache.

He pushed the lid back and scrolled down the screen. The picture was of Aaron, Victoria, and Adam, all dressed up in their best, with the caption: _Best Christmas ever!_ Andy and Katie’s wedding, then, he thought and scrolled down further. Vic’s page was littered with photos, of the pub all decorated, of the happy couple, of Chas and Aaron and Diane. He skimmed through them quickly, stopping on a picture of two hands side by side, one big and callused, the other slim and manicured, wearing matching rings.

 _My Dad’s ring has been made into two beautiful new rings_ , the caption read, _congrats Andy &Katie, love ya dad._

He stared at the words for a minute, then a minute more, not comprehending it. Dad’s ring? How could it have been--

They couldn’t have… melted it down, not without asking him first. Robert was his son, after all, the real one. Victoria wouldn’t do that to him.

He stared at the pictures and all the likes and all the cutesy comments and suddenly he knew, he _knew_ that they would, and they did, and they had. And why would they ask him, it wasn’t as if Jack would have asked him, it wasn’t as if a switch hadn’t been flipped after Mum’s death and his father hadn’t found him repellent, hadn’t resented him upsetting the balance of the family with his moods and his dirty sexuality.

He slammed the laptop shut and went to the kitchen. Vic had a six pack of lager in the fridge, two already drunk. He took the entire case and pulled one can off, popping the tab, and drank large gulps until his nerves calmed a little. Not much, mind, but enough to think straighter.

Andy and Katie had bought John Wylie’s dump of a farm, he knew from Vic, and they’d been doing it up, bit by bit since. He hadn’t paid them a visit yet.

He took the cans and his keys and left the house, slamming the door hard behind him. The farm was a fair distance from the centre of the village, but he had nothing but time and started walking. Someone called out a hello, Bob or maybe Rodney, but he passed by without glancing their way.

-

The farm was empty when he got there, no cars out front. He tried the door – it held firm, but a swift rock to the nearby window was all it took to reach his arm around and open it from the inside. The place was still a dump inside, decorated with chintzy tat and ugly furniture. In the kitchen, the drying rack was full of plates and cups – he took another drink from his can and tipped the rack up until the crockery smashed all over the floor. On the fridge door, there were photos held down with magnets, photos of _his_ family, _his_ sister, _his_ father. He pulled them off, ignoring the magnets that went skittering across the floor, and tore them up, the pieces falling through his fingers. He opened the fridge and took out a carton of milk and the leftovers of a shepherd’s pie. His mum had made great shepherd’s pie, his favourite meal when he was a kid, and this hardly compared, but he still ate it, leaning against the fridge, and drank from the carton, before discarding both on the counter.

There was a wedding photo hung over the fireplace in the living room. He ripped it down, the nail popping out of the wall, and looked at it. Katie had her arms around Andy, her left hand laid on his shoulder, flaunting that mutilated ring for everyone to see. The glass made a satisfying shattering sound when he threw it to the floor, and the glass ground nicely under the heel of his shoe.

He went through the rest of the house, shoving things off shelves and walls as he went, until his cans ran dry. His heart was pounding in his chest, he realised, hard and fast despite the beer. It wasn’t enough, not the drink or the destruction, it wasn’t enough to sooth him, to make them understand.

He left the empties behind and the door wide open when he left, and stumbled back to the village with his head full of cotton wool. Motorists beeped at him a bit, but no one stopped to see if he was all right. Typical.

He went back to Keepers, but the place was too small, too suffocating, too much like the rest of the village. He got his wallet and left again, up to the pub where Chas looked at him sourly.

“Whisky chaser,” he said.

“It looks like you’ve had enough already.”

He pulled his wallet out and threw a couple of twenties on the bar. “I’m not paying for your opinion. Keep them coming.”

She did, though not graciously, but it didn’t help. God, nothing helped and his heart kept pounding like a drum. Aaron came in later and eyed him with a look of pity; Robert’s heart only drummed harder. He saluted him with his glass, whisky slopping over the sides and down his arm, and Aaron moved to the opposite side of the pub, as far away as he could get. He should have done that from the beginning, stayed away from Robert, not kept throwing money at him because he had a crush and didn’t understand how prostitution worked.

He heard Andy’s voice before he saw him, the lumbering idiot coming up to the far side of the bar with Katie on his arm. Robert drilled holes in the back of his head until he looked over, a frown on his face, and asked Chas, “What’s his problem?”

Chas said she didn’t know or care, but that from the looks of it, someone had already had a pop. They went to a table with their drinks and he kept staring at them, smiling with his teeth when they looked over. There was a murmur of conversation behind the bar and at length Diane said, “Love, I think you’ve had enough,” and laid her hand on his arm.

“Fuck off,” he snapped, yanking his arm away and stumbling off the stool.

“Hey!” Andy said, and got up. Good, Robert thought as he came over, _good_. “Don’t speak to Diane like that!”

When he got close enough, Robert grabbed his left hand, digging his nails in.

“What the hell are you doing?” Andy said, trying to pull away, but Robert clung on, closing his fingers around Andy’s wedding ring, trying to pry it off. Katie had jumped up now, wading into the fray.

Robert dragged him closer, until they were nose to nose. “By rights, this is mine.”

Andy shoved him off, hard enough that he almost fell back over the stool, caught at the last minute by someone standing behind him.

“Mate, I think you’ve had enough,” the little guy from the garage said, his hands still on Robert’s back.

“I’m not your mate,” he hissed and pulled away.

“You’re making a scene, Robert,” Katie said with a nasty smile on her face.

“I’m making a scene, Katie?” he repeated. “You destroyed my father’s ring and I’m the one making the scene?”

Andy pulled a face – guilt, if Robert didn’t know better. “Rob...” he started slowly. “I thought you knew by now...”

“We didn’t think you’d mind, pet,” Diane said.

He looked at her. Behind Diane, Vic had come out of the back, eyes wide. “What’s it got to do with you?” he asked, but then it dawned on him. “You’re the stupid cow who gave it to them?”

“Robert!” Vic cried. “I’m sorry you’re upset, but we thought...”

“What, that I wasn’t his son any more?” he shouted, throwing his arm out until he knocked his glass off the bar. It smashed on the floor, splattering beer up his trouser leg, but he hardly noticed. “Out of sight, out of mind, eh? He was _my_ father, Victoria, he was _our_ father! Andy killed _your_ mother, but all’s forgiven; what did I ever do to you? What did I ever do to make you care so little about me?”

“That’s not fair, Robert,” Andy said, and drew back slightly when Robert swung around to face him. “I’m sorry we didn’t tell you, we were honouring Dad--”

“Honouring?” Robert yelled back. He had the entire pub’s attention now, including Aaron, who was staring at him wide-eyed. “By marrying the village bike? You really think this time’s gonna be different?”

The muscle in Andy’s jaw tightened and jumped. “Don’t you--”

Robert leant in to him. “I had her before, during, and after your first wedding, bro and I could have her again if I wanted.”

“That’s enough!” Katie shouted, shoving ineffectually at him. “I wouldn’t touch you again if you were the last man on Earth.”

“Oh yeah?” He pulled away from Andy and stared at her. “And you think this’ll be the one? You’ll have a nice little farm, a set of kids, not just carry one for money or raise Andy’s bastards? I heard about Andy’s last go around – you better have his tea on the table bang on five or he’ll batter you one, eh?”

Andy’s fist connected with his face before he’d even drawn a breath and then suddenly Aaron was between them, his back to Robert, fingers fisted in Andy’s t-shirt. Andy tried to lurch forward again but Aaron held him firm.

“I think you’ve made his point for him, haven’t you?” he said, and looked back at Robert. “You all right?”

Robert could feel blood dripping down his face but he still jerked away. “Fuck you too,” he said, stumbled to the door, swiping someone’s beer bottle as he went. Aaron called after him, but he stepped out into the cold early evening without stopping and staggered away.

He got some way up Main Street before he doubled over and threw up into someone's front garden, his stomach shuddering and bringing up bits of undigested mash. He groaned, bracing his arms on his bent knees, then pushed himself back up. Someone shouted at him – Edna, maybe – and he gave her the bird to a choked cry of outrage and continued on his way. He turned onto Hotten Road and kept walking until he found himself at the graveyard. He stood at the entrance for a while, breathing through his mouth, then went in, passing the benches he and April had sat on a few weeks ago. He knew where his mother’s grave was, by the back hedge, three in from the path, but he couldn't have her see him like this, drunk and bleeding. 

He weaved his way to his father’s grave, the memory of that day still fresh enough for him to find it. He remembered laying the rose on top of the yellow wreath, but now the plot was free of flowers, other than a few crocuses that had popped up around the stone, though it was clean and well-tended. 

He drank from the bottle, the lager tasting particularly foul after his bout of vomiting, and wiped his bloody nose on the sleeve of his nice shirt. It was a goner now, anyway.

“You loved me once, didn’t you?” he asked the empty graveyard. “When I was little.” He laughed to himself. “Before I could talk. When it was just you and me. Remember when you took me to Italy? I was only a toddler, but I remember it – I think so, anyway. We lived in that villa in Sardinia with Marian Wilks. Stepmother number one. Maybe we should have stayed. Maybe I would’ve...”

He sighed and wiped at his face. He was crying, he realised, standing in front of his father. He would have chucked Robert under the chin, when he was young, said, ‘chin up, son,’ and left him to sort himself out. His patience for Robert’s moods grew smaller as Robert grew bigger, taller, more gangly. Kathy told him once that he’d been a ‘cherubic’ little boy, so blond and mischievous Mum and Dad would forgive him anything, but adolescence had not been kind to him. Bitter, calculating, _promiscuous_. Not lovable.

_For God’s sake, Robert, stop crying!_

Robert wiped at his eyes with his thumb. “Sorry, Dad,” he murmured. “I did love you.”

He lifted the bottle to mouth, then thought better of it and held it out, tipping it up over the grave. Here’s to you, Dad, he thought, one last drink on me, and dropped the empty bottle.

“See you around,” he said, and walked away.

-

Rain clouds were rolling in overhead, drawing the day to an early close, the village shrouded in dusky light. There were a few people milling around, but none looked his way. He had nowhere to go, he realised as he staggered back into the centre, couldn’t stay with Vic, not after what happened in the pub. Couldn’t stay with Aaron, after what happened in the pavilion. Couldn’t stay with Andy, for obvious reasons. He had more than enough money for a train and a hotel, but the state he was in, he wasn’t sure how far he’d get before he passed out.

“How you doing there, love?” a voice called.

He looked up and around and found Val putting the bins out. “What?” he said.

She flipped the lid closed and came up to him. “I was in the pub earlier,” she said. “Seems like you’re having a hard time.”

“Why do you care?”

“Well, I don’t much appreciate you calling my sister a stupid cow.” She broke off for a moment to cough. “Though I’ve called her worse, but I know what it’s like to be the black sheep. It’s no fun.”

He flinched at the phrase, ‘black sheep’, though that was surely what he was. Val patted him on the shoulder and he held himself still, didn’t push her off like he wanted.

“I don’t have anywhere to go,” he admitted quietly. “Can’t go back to Vic’s, she’s made it clear I’m in the way.”

“Stay here,” Val said, and cleared her throat, then gestured towards the B&B. “Get a hot meal and a hot shower and you’ll be right.”

“I--”

“Go on,” she said, smiling wide. “Get your things and come over. Vic’s still at the pub. It’s the low season now, lots of empty rooms and nothing to do with them. You’ll be doing me a favour.”

He snorted at the transparency of the lie, but nodded anyway, and did as he was told. He hadn’t really unpacked, so he only had to stuff some stray items into his bags and bring them downstairs. His phone, which he’d left behind in his rush to leave earlier, had several missed calls; he switched it off and threw it in his bag. Back downstairs, he dropped Vic’s spare set of keys on the kitchen table and left the house, slamming the front door with more force than necessary. 

Val was waiting by the door when he came back to the Grange. Tracy walked by and the two women exchanged a brief, tense stare before Robert ducked inside – Tracy was the last person he wanted to talk to. Val led him through to the back, to the private kitchen. Eric came out of the dining room holding a rag that smelt strongly of furniture polish and made a sharp noise of disapproval that Val waved off.

“A nice cuppa’ll sort you out,” she said, and opened the kitchen door. “Put your things down anywhere.”

Robert dropped his bags inside the door and took a seat at the table while Val switched the kettle on.

“Would you like me to make you up some food?” she asked. “We’ve got a nice beef hotpot leftover from yesterday.”

Robert’s stomach rolled at the mere thought of it. “No,” he said, muffled by the hand to his mouth. 

Val laughed and poured hot water into two mugs and dropped a couple of teabags in. “Milk?”

“‘sfine like that,” he said. Val slopped some milk into her cup and turned her face into her elbow to quell a cough before bringing them over. “You all right?” he asked, closing his hands around the mug to warm them.

“I’m grand,” she said and sat down next to him. “You, on the other hand...”

He shrugged, and sipped his tea, even though it was scalding hot. “I guess everyone knew about the rings.”

“I didn’t, didn’t even go to the wedding. Hardly front page news, is it?” 

It was stupid, but he felt a bit better to hear that she hadn’t been there. It was probably for no other reason than there wasn’t enough room in the church hall, but at least not everyone in the village was in the Andy-and-Katie entourage.

Val laughed a little and shook her head. “The village bike, though, eh? Ah, you always did have a way about you, didn’t you? I think I missed that.”

He smiled back. “You’ll be the only one. I’ve not won any friends.”

“Well,” she said, “I don’t know, Aaron had a right go at Andy after you left. Really angry, he was. I know you’ve not known him long, but that lad’s got a hell of a temper on him.”

Robert’s stomach swooped at the mention of him. Had Aaron been defending his honour? He’d jumped in there quick enough, but then Robert already knew about his temper. God, the things he’d said to Aaron, no wonder, really. But Robert was only trying to be kind, to ease Aaron’s burden. Maybe he didn’t really know how to do that, but he’d _tried_ , hadn’t he?

“Did you know my Paul got married?” Val said suddenly.

He jerked and looked at her. She had a twinkle in her eye that only added to his nausea. “Why would I know that?”

“No reason. They had one of those civil partnerships, you know, before they legalised gay marriage, but they had it done proper a couple of years ago in Portugal.”

“Right,” he said, fixing his eyes on the table. “Well, good for them.”

She tipped her head and smiled. “Once you’ve finished your tea, have a shower and change your clothes, eh? It’s a bit… overwhelming.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It wouldn't be Robron without them blowing up at each other, eh?


	9. Chapter 9

Vic was late for her shift.

“It’ll be something to do with her brother,” his mum said with a scowl. “Didn’t I tell you what he was like?”

“They did melt down his dad’s ring without asking him,” Aaron replied over his cereal. That was a the wrong answer, judging by the look on her face. She opened the fridge and dug around inside.

“That doesn’t mean he can come in here, shouting the odds and calling Diane a stupid cow,” she said, her voice drifting over to him from behind the fridge door.

As if Robert was the first person to ever have a bit of a shout in the pub. Aaron laughed into his bowl and let the conversation drop. God knew, his mum couldn’t be swayed on anything, not least the character of Robert Sugden. She wasn’t even wrong, though it still didn’t sit right with him to hear it. He’d called Robert a few times, but just got sent to voicemail.

The door slammed open a couple of minutes later and Vic stomped in, looking like she hadn’t had any sleep at all.

“What time do you call this?” Mum called.

“Don’t start,” she called back. “Robert’s gone!”

Mum snorted and looked at Aaron. “See, I told you.”

“Where’s he gone?” Aaron asked, a rush of anxiety flowing through him.

She shrugged and threw herself onto the settee. “I don’t know! He packed his bags and left his keys before I got back last night and his phone is going straight to voicemail! I haven’t slept! And Andy called this morning and told me Wylie’s has been trashed!”

Aaron swallowed. “You don’t know he did it.”

Mum scoffed and shook her head. 

“Did they call the police?” he added, not meeting his mother’s gaze.

“No,” Vic said, crossing her arms over her chest. Aaron tried not to look relieved. “It was only some plates and pictures. Andy feels bad about the ring.”

“I’m sure Robert’s fine, Vic,” Mum said, “he always lands on his feet.”

Aaron bit the inside of his mouth and kept quiet; at least Robert had his things, though he wondered if he’d ever really landed on his feet, even if he did put on a good show of it. Vic didn’t seem comforted and shook her head.

“What if he isn’t?”

Mum sighed. “Why don’t you call his work, he’ll have to go back there eventually.”

Vic shook her head. “I don’t know where he works. He told me once, but… I don’t even have his address!” She scrubbed her hands over her face roughly and looked at Aaron. “Do you know where he works?”

“Sorry,” Aaron said, and got up, taking his bowl to the sink.

Vic groaned in defeat while Mum rolled her eyes and went to the door. “Well, _your_ job is waiting, whenever you’re ready. Aaron, can you go and pick some things up from David’s? There’s a list on the side.”

Aaron looked around until he saw a piece of paper with his mum’s scribble on it. “It’s my day off.”

“Exactly,” she said, and swanned out the room.

-

He went over to David’s past eleven, armed with a list that included milk, butter, Tetley, and chocolate Hobnobs. He didn’t see why she couldn’t just plan the big weekly shop from the Tesco in Hotten better, but they always ran out of something before Friday. He picked up a basket and walked around the shop, though it was hard to concentrate with Robert still on his mind – the man had been on his mind since October, one way or another.

In his distraction, he ran right into Tracy at the end of the biscuit aisle.

“Oh!” she said and smiled. “Sorry.”

He stepped back. “Nah, my fault, wasn’t looking where I was going.”

She nodded knowingly and glanced around. “I hope your Robert’s doing better today,” she said in a hushed tone.

“My-- What do you mean?”

“Well, he was in a state yesterday,” she said. Aaron was sure she hadn’t been in the pub last night, but he guessed gossip spread like the clap around here. “Looks like Val’s taking care of him, though.”

“Val?”

“At the Grange…? I saw him going in there last night with some bags,” she said slowly, frowning. “Didn’t you know?”

“That he’s at the B&B?” At her nod, he continued, “No, I didn’t.”

“Oh… Did I put my foot in it?”

He shook his head. “Nah, thanks for telling me. I, uh--” He only had the Hobnobs so far in his basket and he took them back out of the basket and shoved on the shelf with the Digestives. Mum’s sweet tooth would have to wait. “I’ll see you later, yeah?” he said and didn’t wait for Tracy to reply.

He considered calling Vic as he crossed over to the B&B, but if Robert had checked in without telling anyone, he probably didn’t want anyone told. He probably didn’t want Aaron wading in in his size tens, but that was too bad, Aaron decided. 

The door was open so he let himself in and looked around for signs of life. He’d only been in a few times, but he recalled that someone was normally about. Right now it was empty, though; he rang the little bell on the table by the door.

“Coming,” he heard Val call, followed by a brief coughing fit. She came around the door, hand to her mouth, but dropped it and smiled when she saw him. He’d never had much to do with her previous, so that in itself was kind of weird.

“Ah,” she said, “you’re here for my step-nephew.”

 _Step-nephew_ : he’d never thought of it like that. “Er, yeah, he around?”

“He’s still sleeping it off, but I think he’s had long enough. Wait here a minute.”

“Er...” he murmured, but she left him without getting the okay and stayed gone for five minutes, in which time he checked out the display of tourist pamphlets – he never knew you could go sky-diving around here.

She came back out with a tray of plain toast with a small plate of butter, a mug of coffee and small jug of milk, a glass of water, and a box of pills. “Take that up to him, there’s a good lad. Room five, first floor.”

“Oh,” he said as she offloaded it on him. “It’s my day off.”

She laughed and shook her head ruefully, then walked away. He watched her go for a second, then climbed the stairs. Room five was down the hall on the left, with a Do Not Disturb sign hung on the doorknob. Aaron hesitated for a second, then knocked. Nothing. He knocked again. Inside, there was a long groan, then silence. He almost laughed, but knocked harder, really hammering the door.

“All right!” Robert yelled. “Jesus Christ!”

The door swung open to Robert rubbing at his eyes, grumbling for a few moments more before he saw Aaron.

“What’re you…?” He looked bad – not as bad as when Aaron picked him up from his flat, but bad enough. He had a new black eye, sallow skin, and the spot where Aaron had punched him had really blossomed into a brownish bruise. Aaron’s stomach twisted with guilt and he held out the tray.

“Val sent me up with this.”

“You work here now, do you?” Robert bit back, not moving it.

“Came to see how you were.”

“Did Val tell you I was here?”

“Tracy,” he said, and Robert sighed. “Look, this tray is heavy, you want it or not?”

Robert eyeballed him for another couple of seconds, then reached out and took it, retreating back into the room. Aaron followed before Robert could close the door on him.

“Vic’s worried about you.”

Robert snorted and put the tray down on the bed. The curtains were drawn but let in enough light to see by. “I bet.”

“She is. She loves you.”

“Is that what that is?” Robert said, his lip curling. “She barely knows me.”

“Whose fault is that?”

“Mine,” Robert snapped, “mine like everything else, _obviously_.”

“Like Wylie’s being broken into and trashed?”

Robert didn’t reply, instead picking up the paracetamol and popping two pills out into his hand, then threw them in his mouth and drained half the glass of water.

“They didn’t call the cops.”

“Great,” Robert muttered, and wiped his mouth, setting the glass down on the bedside table. “Good for them.”

“Andy feels guilty about the ring.”

Robert looked at him, his gaze hard and Aaron wilted a little, glancing away. “What do you want, Aaron?”

“Wanted to see how you were.” He cleared his throat. “You seemed really upset yesterday.”

Robert sat down the bed with a deep sigh and picked up a dry piece of toast. “What gave it away?”

Aaron stood for a minute more as Robert laboriously chewed his toast, his face creased in a grimace. “I shouldn’t have hit you, I’m sorry.”

“Sit down,” Robert said, waving to an empty space at the head of the bed, on the rumpled sheets. It reminded Aaron of those evenings in Manchester, though the comparison made this situation seem even worse.

He sat, fisting a handful of the quilt under his hand. Robert took a drink of the coffee and winced.

“I shouldn’t have said that about your scars,” Robert said softly. “You’re not a headcase.”

“You’re not crazy,” Aaron replied and Robert laughed a little.

“I don’t take it lightly, you know, what happened to Max. It was one of the worst days of my life. I just… lose it around Andy.”

“Vic thinks you’re still in love with Katie,” Aaron said, anxiety making him curl his hands into his sleeves. Robert certainly wasn’t lov _ing_ towards Katie, but that level of loathing seemed really weird if he didn’t still feel something for her.

Robert barked with laughter. “That silly cow? She wishes.” His lip curled with disdain, his expression turning nasty. It was an ugly look on him, a world away from the charm of their first dates, though Aaron did remember him turning his acid tongue on others. He’d overlooked that because of the way Robert had looked at him, soft and, maybe, loving. The expression passed after another moment, Robert’s brow creasing. “Is that what you think?”

He shrugged. “Sometimes, you’re like a completely different person here than you were in Manchester. Makes me wonder if I ever really know how you feel about anything.”

Robert pressed his lips together and reached out, laying his hand over Aaron’s. “You do, okay? I don’t love her. I used to, I did, but that’s long gone now.”

“So why do you hate her so much?”

“I hate Andy, she’s just...”

“Collateral damage?”

Robert smiled a bit. “Maybe.” 

Aaron’s phone buzzed in his pocket; he pulled it out and read the message with a sigh.

“Something wrong?” 

“Just Mum wanting to know where her Hobnobs are,” he said, and waved off Robert’s confused look. “Doesn’t matter.”

Robert nodded and took another sip of the coffee, then gagged theatrically. “God, I need a shower. The bathroom’s across the hall, can you believe that? I have to queue like I’m back at fucking primary school.”

“Tragic,” Aaron said.

Robert laughed and stood up, swaying slightly, and rubbed at the side of his face. It made Aaron wince, the way he scraped his fingers over bruised skin, but Robert didn’t seem to notice.

“Are you gonna...” Robert said, glancing at him as he collected his things up from around the room.

“I’ll wait,” Aaron said, “so long’s you don’t take forever.”

“This takes work, you know,” Robert said with a smile, edging towards the door.

“I can tell. Go on.”

Robert huffed and went out the door, clutching clothes and a wash bag to his chest. Aaron kicked his trainers off and sat cross-legged on the bed. He considered calling Vic and telling her where Robert was, but the last thing he wanted was for her to come charging in here, so instead he put the telly on and picked at the crust of Robert’s toast. When ten minutes had passed and Robert hadn’t returned, he picked up the knife, smeared butter on the toast, and started eating.

He came back fifteen minutes later with wet hair and a face on him. “The pressure’s terrible here and the hot water didn’t even hold out to the end. Some hotel.” He stopped and looked at the tray. “Did you eat my breakfast?”

“You took too long.”

“I was only fifteen minutes!”

“That’s ten minutes too long.”

Robert threw the wash bag onto the bed and sighed. “How can you be gay _and_ this much of a bloke?”

He shrugged. “Didn’t go to gay finishing school. C’mon, I’ll treat you at Bob’s.”

Robert squirmed a little. “Doesn’t everyone go to Bob’s?”

“Anywhere you go in the village, you’re gonna see someone, you know how it is.”

“Yeah,” he said, and sighed. “All right. This dump is doing my head in, anyway.”

Aaron switched the TV off and rolled his eyes. “Come on, Prince Charming.”

-

It was almost time for dinner when they made it to the café. 

“Lunch,” Robert said, and Aaron laughed.

“You’re not down south any more, mate.”

Robert looked affronted as they reached the counter. “It’s not my fault you’re common.”

“What, and you’re not?”

“Lads?” Bob said, glancing between the two of them. “Are you ordering?”

Aaron ordered a fry up – no shame getting Bob’s all day breakfast for dinner – and Robert got an Americano and a cream cheese bagel.

“Together?” Bob asked. Robert twitched a little and Aaron nudged him with his foot.

“Yeah, I’m paying,” he said and pulled his wallet out.

They sat on the armchairs by the door, eating for a while in silence. Robert only picked at his bagel while Aaron tucked in and after a while Robert’s undisguised look of horror was too much to ignore.

“What?” he asked around a mouthful of bacon.

“Do you stop? It’s like watching a pig at a trough.”

“You’d know, farmboy.”

Robert scoffed and looked away, then immediately turned back, ducking his head.

Aaron wiped his mouth with a napkin and frowned. “What’s wrong now?”

“Edna,” he whispered back, gesturing with a sharp nod of his head to where Edna was joining the queue. “I, er, vomited in her bush last night and gave her the finger.”

Aaron stared at him, his mouth falling open, then hiccuped with laughter. “Her… her bush? Your finger...” he managed.

Robert clenched his jaw. “Her front garden,” he snapped.

He squeaked with laughter so loud that the people on the next table turned and looked at them. “Her front bush?” he said, and bit his lip in an attempt to control himself. A not very successful attempt.

“Shut up,” Robert whispered and gave him a light kick.

“Young man,” Edna’s voice called. Robert’s eyes widened comically and Aaron sunk down in his chair, covering his mouth with his hand.

Robert turned slowly in his chair and looked at her. “Edna,” he said.

“I hope I’ll be seeing you today with a bucket of water to clean up my front garden.”

“Er...”

“He’ll be there,” Aaron said and shrugged when Robert whipped back round, looking betrayed. “I’ll make sure of it.”

“Well,” she said, and sniffed. “See that you do.”

Robert waited a minute for her to move off, then narrowed his eyes at Aaron. “Why did you tell her that?”

“Because you’ve gotta clean her bush, Robert,” he replied seriously, though he ruined it immediately by laughing again.

“Will you stop?” Robert snapped, though he had a slight smile on his face. “You’ve got a one track mind, you.”

“Bit rich, coming from you,” he shot back, then regretted it as Robert’s expression fell a little. “Sorry.”

Robert shrugged and the door swung open again, Adam coming in with a huff. He stopped and looked at them with a frown. 

“Oi,” he said, and smacked Robert on the shoulder. “This is where you got to. Vic’s been doing her nut.”

“I’ve heard,” Robert said, getting a face on him again.

“Why haven’t you told her you found him?” Adam asked over his head to Aaron. Robert scowled.

“We’re gonna go over and see her in a few, give us a chance.”

Adam raised his eyebrows. “‘Us’, huh?” He held Aaron’s gaze and Aaron forced himself to look back steadily. He didn’t like keeping things from Adam, but he couldn’t betray Robert’s trust, either.

“Sorry, did I turn invisible or something?” Robert said.

“We’ll go soon,” Aaron repeated and Adam muttered that they better before joining the queue behind Edna.

“Thanks for making decisions for me, much appreciated,” Robert said, his face scrunched up in a frown. He picked up his bagel and leant back into the chair with a huff.

“Unless you’re planning to leave the village, you’ll have to see her sometime,” Aaron said, followed by a horrible pang of uncertainty – maybe Robert _was_ planning to leave.

Robert looked away, narrowing his eyes. “Yeah,” he agreed.

Aaron took the opportunity to look at him. He looked a lot more alive than an hour ago, but he still had purplish bags under his eyes, a black bruise under his left eye this time, and the hit to the mouth that made Aaron’s stomach roll uneasily.

“Hey,” he said, “for what it’s worth, I don’t think it was right, them lot hiding that about your dad’s ring. They shouldn’t have done that without telling you.”

Robert shrugged. “Did you know about it?”

He shook his head and Robert frowned.

“Vic posted about it on Facebook,” he said.

“You think I’m on Facebook?” Aaron said, and laughed a little. “I’m barely on the internet.”

Robert looked at him for a long moment, his expression oddly vulnerable before he nodded. “All right,” he allowed, “we’ll go after I’ve finished this.”

-

The meeting was predictably awkward. Vic apologised and so did Robert, though he didn’t sound the least bit sincere. Maybe that was just the way he always sounded. He apologised to Diane for calling her a stupid cow, too, and she let it go with good humour like always.

“Val treating you all right?” she asked.

Robert smiled. “Oh, yeah, she, uh, sobered me up pretty good.”

“Well, we can go get your bags later,” Vic said, “see to your face, too.”

“My face is fine,” he said, and worked his jaw a little. Aaron glanced away. “But I’m gonna stay on at the B&B.”

“What? Why?”

Robert looked like he was barely suppressing an eyeroll. “I think it’s just better this way.”

Vic stood up from the settee and crossed her arms over her chest. “Is this because of Andy? He is sorry, you know. If you went and apologised too, maybe we could put this all behind us.”

“I’m not apologising to him,” he said, then cut her off when she opened her mouth again. “Sorry, Vic, but it’s not happening. Look, I’m going to get off, you have a shift, I’ll see you later.”

Aaron got up with him, not sure how to play it off as nothing strange, but Robert didn’t look worried about it.

“Yeah, I’ve got stuff to do, as well.”

“Your mum’s got a bee in her bonnet about the shopping,” Diane said.

He laughed and shook his head. “Yeah, I’ll get to it.”

“Robert,” Vic said in exasperation. “We are sorry, you know.”

“I know,” he said, “it’s not like I’m moving halfway around the world, I’m only gonna be across the road.”

She pouted and he hugged her, stooping a little. Aaron smiled and Diane raised her eyebrows, but turned away when he looked at her. At least Diane was discreet – if it had been his mum, he’d never have heard the end of it. Robert pulled back from Vic and patted her on the head, which she shook off with a huff and a fond smile. It made Aaron wonder what life would have been like for the two of them, if Robert hadn’t left; he remembered Vic telling him about her amazing big brother when they were kids, about how he taught her to count to ten in Spanish and sent her things from his travels. It made Aaron think, with a pang, of Liv – she’d be thirteen now and he didn’t even know what she looked like.

Vic had pushed Robert away with a smile and Aaron shook himself from his thoughts to follow him out the door.

“Edna’s?” Aaron said when they got outside. “May as well sort out her… front garden.”

Robert screwed up his face in irritation then, strangely, smiled. “Right you are, but I better change into something more fitting.”

-

Aaron could have guessed that Robert would trot back out in the borrowed jumper, with a stupid smile on his face, but it took more than that to rile him up, and he took great pleasure in watching Robert grapple with the bristly broom and bucket of water Edna had kindly provided. He stood off to the side and ‘directed on high’, as Robert put it, while Robert cleaned up with a sour look on his face.

“This reminds me way too much of the farm,” Robert complained.

“Well, you look the part, that’s for sure.”

Robert shook his head and kept brushing, muttering something as Aaron caught sight of Katie coming up the road.

“Uh oh,” he muttered.

“What?” Robert said and glanced up. “Oh,” he said, and brushed harder as she passed, splattering dingy water on her boots. Fortunately – or unfortunately, depending on the point of view – she was wearing wellies. Robert still grinned and Aaron rolled his eyes. He really was like an overgrown teenager.

“On community service again?” she asked snippily.

“Piss off,” he muttered. Aaron was surprised he didn’t have a witty comeback.

She pursed her lips and stepped closer. “I know it was you who trashed the house. Andy feels bad enough about everything that he won’t call the police, but I will if you don’t back off.”

“I haven’t backed on you, yet,” Robert said. “You’d know if I had.”

She scoffed and stepped away, then looked at Aaron. “You can do better, you know,” she said, and after a brief paused added, “if you’re looking for a new mate. There’s nothing behind the flash exterior.”

“Hey--” Robert started, but Aaron raised a hand.

“All right, wind your necks in, both of you.”

She sighed and shook her head. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” she offered as a parting shot, and walked away.

Robert went back to brushing, striking the pavement angrily. Aaron watched for a couple of minutes before he spoke again.

“What was that about community service? Robert?”

Robert sighed and stopped brushing, gripping the handle until Aaron could see his knuckles turn white. “I got a community sentence when I was teenager.”

“What for?”

He looked away, then met Aaron’s gaze. “Hit and run. I wasn’t the driver, but I did try to cover it up.”

Neither of them spoke for a moment – Aaron needed a second to digest it and Robert looked tense and ready to scarper. 

“What happened?” he asked,

Robert pressed his lips together, his grip remaining tight on the broom. He opened his mouth with a sigh. “There were a bunch of us: me, Andy, Donna, my mate Marc and his sister, Edna’s niece Eve, and Katie – so it’s a laugh that she’s having a pop at me about it, since she got community service as well--” He cut himself and shook his head. “We tried to get into a nightclub, couldn’t, missed the last bus home, Andy nicked a car, Marc said he’d drive. We hit our headteacher, Miss Strickland. It was raining, Marc didn’t see her. I was scared of going to prison… We burnt the car, left her body.” He sucked his bottom lip into his mouth. “We covered it up for a few months, but in the end…”

Aaron’s first, hysterical, thought was just how big was this car, to fit all those teenagers in? 

“This is the part where you storm off again,” Robert muttered.

Aaron felt a brief burst of irritation at the self-pity. He shook his head. “Is that everything?”

“Eh?”

He worried his lip for a second. “Is there anything left you aren’t telling me?”

Robert frowned, his grip on broom loosening a bit. “Well… I lost my virginity to Nicola. Got into a car crash once with my girlfriend and put all the blame on her, gave Donna chlamydia, set fire to Butler’s – with your uncle’s help, cheated on every girlfriend I’ve ever had…” He rubbed his hand over his face, looking tired. “And… that’s all I can think of right now.”

Aaron blinked, overwhelmed by the torrent of information. Robert had seemed so put together before, ready with a smart word and a smooth smile, but underneath the flash exterior there wasn’t nothing, like Katie said, there was plenty: there was ugliness, a cruel streak, a petulant child. And yet his heart still fluttered in his chest just from looking at him.

“Okay,” he said.

Robert frowned. “‘Okay’?” he repeated.

“Yeah. If that’s it, if that’s the worst you’ve got, then… okay.”

“But--”

Aaron laughed in exasperation. “Are you trying to argue with me about this?”

Robert flashed a quick smile. “No, I just, I meant what I said about there being things about me you wouldn’t like – as we’ve just found out. You’re… not like me, I just want you to be sure.”

“I’ve done stuff too,” Aaron said. “Bad stuff. I beat Paddy half to death once.”

“He probably deserved it,” Robert said flippantly, and a shudder went through Aaron.

He clenched his fists and tried to hold himself steady. “He didn’t,” he said quietly and swallowed. “He just wanted me to be happy.”

“Right,” Robert said and looked at the ground. “Always say the wrong thing, me.”

Aaron took a deep breath and let it out. Robert glanced back up and Aaron smiled a bit. “You’re telling me,” he said, and Robert smiled back.

“Boys,” Edna called from her front door. They turned to look at her; she was holding Tootsie under one arm, holding her other hand over her eyes to block out the sun. “Are you done?”

“Yeah, he’s done,” Aaron called back.

“Did he do a good job?”

Robert huffed and crossed his arms over his chest as Aaron cast his eyes over the wet pavement. He looked back at Edna. “Yeah, he’s done all right.”

“Then once you’ve brought the broom and bucket in, you can come in and have some tea,” she said firmly, and retreated, leaving the door ajar.

Robert stepped up beside him, still looking a bit offended. “How is that dog still alive?” he asked.

Aaron shrugged. “Not a clue, one of the village’s greatest mysteries.”

-

They settled back into a rhythm in the next couple of days, uneasy at first, but Robert being at the Grange helped simplify things, even though the room was fifty quid a night and Aaron wondered how much of the three grand Robert had left. If he stayed on there long term, he’d probably have to pick up more ‘work’ and the thought of it made Aaron sick, but they did enjoy the relative privacy. It was more than they could find anywhere else in the village. People talked about them when they sat in the pub, Andy and Katie had half the village on side, and Robert refused to speak to them, in any case.

Mum stepped up the disapproval, telling him he was getting invested for nothing, that Robert was leading him around by the nose for his own amusement. It was almost funny, especially when he remembered last night, Robert face down on the mattress, gripping the covers and keening softly. He’d had to sneak out of the pub in the night to visit him like a kid, leaving again in the early hours.

They arranged to meet at Bob’s for breakfast before his shift. Robert said the breakfasts at the Grange were terrible and Pollard was unbearable – he did an impression of him that had Aaron laughing as they walked inside together.

“Oh, and there’s been some kind of ding dong,” Robert added, “your little mate’s been sacked.”

“What little mate?”

“Flynn?”

Aaron tipped his head and regarded Robert. “Finn,” he said, but Robert knew that already. Robert looked away with a sigh and maybe the start of a blush on his cheeks. “He isn’t really my mate, just a guy I slept with once.”

Robert’s mouth opened, then closed.

Aaron stepped closer. “Jealous?” he murmured.

“Of that kid?” Robert snorted and shook his head. “As if.”

“Good, ‘cause you needn’t be.”

Robert looked at him out of the corner of his eye, raising an eyebrow. “You gotta go to work?” he said softly.

“Unfortunately.”

“Lads,” Bob called patiently. Aaron hadn’t noticed the people in front getting their food. “Ready to order?”

-

He left Robert to his own devices after breakfast and went to the garage. There was a lot on and it kept him occupied until lunch, when he was sent off on a call out on the outskirts of village. When he got back, there was an ambulance sitting outside the Grange. There were no police cars, but his stomach still bottomed out at the sight of it – what if Robert’s loan shark thugs had caught up with him, come back for more. Robert must have been weeks behind on payments by now. He screeched to a halt outside Bob’s, but the ambulance pulled away before he could shut off the engine and get out. He jumped out and ran across the road, shoving the B&B door open.

“Eric?” Robert called, followed by footsteps; Aaron’s chest inflated with relief.

Robert stepped out into the reception room and frowned. “Aaron?”

“I saw the ambulance,” Aaron said.

“Val collapsed,” Robert said, still frowning. “Did you think it was me?”

“Well--” Aaron lifted his shoulders, suddenly embarrassed. “You do have form for getting hurt.”

“And you ran straight over?” Robert said, his expression a little bemused, his tone teasing.

“I can go,” Aaron muttered, but didn’t have any intention to.

Robert hurried forward. “No, no,” he said, and closed his hand around Aaron’s arm. “No, it’s nice.”

“It’s ‘nice’?”

“That you were worried…” It was Robert’s turn to look embarrassed now, glancing away with a soft smile.

Aaron took a breath; this was all getting a bit too awkward now. “So, what happened?”

“Dunno, I came out of my room and saw her being carted away on a stretcher. No one told me anything.”

“Are you going to the hospital?”

Robert shook his head. “Eric’s gone with her, Finn and his mum too. There are some guests checking in later, so I guess I’m going to deal with that.”

“That’s nice of you.”

“Well, I can be, sometimes.”

Aaron smiled. “I know. Look, I have to get back to work, but we can meet in the pub afterwards? I’m off at five.”

“Definitely,” Robert said, and stepped closer, his nose brushing against Aaron’s. They were alone in the B&B and Robert pressed in and kissed him, took his breath away as per. “Five on the dot,” he breathed against Aaron’s lips.

-

Robert was already sitting at a table when Aaron got to the pub, staring darkly across the room at Andy. There was a second pint of beer on the table, still cold enough that there was condensation mottling the glass. Aaron gestured to it as he came over.

“That for me?”

Robert’s expression cleared as he looked up at Aaron, his eyes going soft. “Yeah, bitter.”

“But what about the beer?” Aaron said, sitting down across from him. Robert laughed and rolled his eyes and Aaron grinned back before taking a sip. “Oh,” he said, and wiped foam from his top lip, “I texted Finn earlier – he says Val has pneumonia.”

“Pneumonia?” Robert repeated. “How’s a woman her age get that?”

“Well, she…” He glanced around the half filled pub and leant forward. “She’s HIV-positive,” he said quietly.

“She--” Robert stopped himself, his eyebrows rising. “Wow. How long for?”

“A year odd?”

Robert picked up his beer and tipped his head. “That’s awful,” he said and took a drink.

“Room for a small one?” Adam asked, knocking Aaron’s arm, though he was halfway to sitting on the spare chair already. Robert sighed. “You heard about Val?”

“Yeah,” Aaron said, and gestured to Robert with his glass. “Robert’s looking after the B&B.”

“Yeah?” Adam said, looking at Robert, who shrugged. “You gonna be in your pinny tomorrow making the brekkie, then?”

Robert narrowed his eyes and Aaron smothered a laugh. “What kind of man can’t cook a full English? I mean, my sister’s a chef, haven’t you learnt anything from her?” He took a breath, straightening up in his chair; Adam looked faintly alarmed. “What, you make her do all the cooking? Little woman in the kitchen?”

“No,” Adam said, glancing between the two of them. “Er…”

“Calm down, he’s just taking the piss,” Aaron said.

“I’m not, actually,” Robert said, and Aaron gave him a swift kick under the table. “Ow,” he complained, leaning down to rub at his ankle.

“I barely touched you,” Aaron said.

Robert heaved a sigh and pushed his chair back. “I’m going for a waz.”

“Have fun,” Aaron said, and Robert shot him a heated gaze over Adam’s head as he made his way around the table. Aaron knew he’d be in his bed a long time tonight. Adam huffed and he looked back at him and tried to seem sympathetic. “He is just winding you up.”

“How can you tell?”

“You get used to it after a while.”

Adam took a quick sip of his pint. “He your new best mate now, or something?”

“What? Give over.”

Adam shrugged. “Because I’m man enough to admit that I’m feeling a bit neglected here, all the time you’ve been spending with him.”

It hadn’t escaped anyone’s attention that they’d been knocking around together a lot recently, Aaron guessed, but no one had put two and two together yet. Maybe Robert had done too good a job of convincing everyone of his heterosexuality back in the day. “He’s a mate, but--”

“I’m your boy?” Adam said with a grin.

“Er, you could say that, but let’s not.”

Adam laughed. Robert came back out of the toilets, but was waylaid by Pearl, and Aaron tried not to smile at the open look of stunned boredom on Robert’s face.

“He’s gotta be pushing off back to London soon, right?” Adam asked. “I know he’s got a fancy job, but, like, his boss must want him back sometime.”

“I guess,” Aaron said noncomittally. God only knew how much longer Robert could hang on, both with the money he had left and the weeks he’d ‘taken off’ from his job. Aaron hadn’t asked what his long term plans were, didn’t want to hear that he was going back to Manchester, taking a job as someone’s live-in lover, or worse. In weaker moments, he wished he had more money so he could pay for Robert to stay here with him, but that was so pathetic he tried not to dwell on it.

“I know he thinks I’m an idiot,” Adam continued.

Robert extricated himself from Pearl and started making his way back over. The look in his eyes was still heavy and heated.

Aaron shifted in his seat and smirked at Adam. “Nah, you’re not an idiot. You just do a good impression of one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a note to say that the flow of chapters is probably going to slow down soon - I have one more chapter fully written and I'm working away on the rest, but that means I don't have loads in reserve to post any more.


	10. Chapter 10

Robert’s term as B&B host didn’t last long; Marlon was around the day after Val’s collapse to sort out the meals and a few days later, Val was home again. Pollard didn’t offer him any money for his help and Robert knew he shouldn’t have expected it from the old miser, but he really could have benefited from a quick cash injection. He was down almost a thousand and – even on the ‘family rate’ – knew he only had a few weeks left in him before he was skint again.

He saw Paul a couple of times, only briefly, and Paul hardly recognised him and wasn’t in the mood to chat. Robert still felt the familiar burn of shame at the sight of him, the first out gay man he’d ever met, so open with it, so unlike Robert. When he was young, he hadn’t wanted to ever speak to him for too long, look at him too long, in case anyone twigged what Robert was, like you could just tell by looking. He didn’t want his father to see and think that night had been anything other than a phase, a disgusting experimentation not to be repeated or spoken of again. 

Thankfully, Paul couldn’t stick around after Val got home from the hospital, though Vic and Finn more than made up for it, getting on her case about looking after herself. When they finally pushed off, she eyeballed him from the couch she was set up on.

“You got anything to say?” she asked.

He shrugged. “None of my business.”

She smiled and smothered a cough in a wad of tissues. “That’s what I like about you, you don’t care about anything enough to make a fuss.”

“I guess not,” he said.

On Saturday they arranged that Aaron would stay the night at the B&B the last guests were doing a late check out in the evening, so there’d be no guests Saturday night and all of Sunday – other than Robert, but Pollard saw him as nothing more than an annoying semi-in-law and didn’t afford him the respect Robert hoped he’d show any other guest. With Val laid up at home and Pollard tending to her, that meant Robert had the run of the place once he left for the day. 

Aaron slipped in the back after seven, after Pollard left, warning Robert that it was on his head if anything got damaged. As if anyone would even be able to tell.

Aaron had told Chas he was going out for a night on the town and she’d been thrilled, he said, that he was ‘getting back out there’. Getting away from Robert, more like. He seemed to be enjoying all the sneaking about, pleased at how easily he’d convinced her he was going into Hotten when really he was just next door. Robert smiled along with him and they kissed in the front room, the net curtains drawn against the world, like a proper couple.

“So, what are you making me?” Aaron said when they pulled apart, and threw himself down on a couch.

“What?”

“Well,” he said, stretching his arms over his head, arching his back with a sly look, “I’m late for my tea and I’m your guest.”

Robert sighed. “I’ll see what’s in the fridge.”

Pollard had made it clear that he wouldn’t be laying on any food for Robert’s sole benefit, so he’d reluctantly given him permission to use the kitchen, as if Robert wasn’t already helping himself when no one was about. There were a few pre-prepared meals in the freezer that Marlon had made while Val was in hospital; Robert probably wasn’t supposed to eat them, but that wasn’t going to stop him. He heated up two plates of baked ziti, which Aaron eyed suspiciously before shovelling a forkful into his gob and deeming it, ‘good’. Robert brought out a few bottles of lager for Aaron, knowing there was no point in trying to make him appreciate a nice glass of red.

They chatted while they ate in the dining room, a strange experience with all the empty tables around them. Aaron told him Adam’s latest harebrained scheme, to start up a scrapyard, if only they had the readies. A few weeks previous, it’d been a taxi firm, but apparently you couldn’t run one of those with a criminal record.

“Criminal record?” Robert repeated.

“Er,” Aaron murmured, stopping with his fork halfway to his mouth. “Yeah.”

“He was your mate who just got out of prison last year?”

“You remember that?”

Robert put down his knife and fork. “I do now,” he said. “What was he in for?”

“Arson,” Aaron said, then quickly added, “not that you can judge.”

“Guess not… So, what were you in for?” He’d never asked before; honestly, he hadn’t put much thought to it until now. He met all sorts of people on the job and, frankly, it would have been more of a shocker if Aaron hadn’t been behind bars at least once, with his family.

Aaron looked away and cleared his throat. “Well, I…” he started, and shook his head. He looked back at Robert. “I took the fall for him.”

Robert only blinked in surprise. 

“He set fire to the garage. He didn’t mean to do it, but he was angry with Cain, thought it was his fault his dad died, and… I didn’t want him to go to prison, so I said it was me. Then I did a runner to France.”

“So… how did he end up in prison, then?” Robert asked, taking a fortifying sip of his wine.

Aaron chewed on his lip for a second. “When I came back, when Donna… He confessed because I was gonna hand myself in. I got off with perverting the course of justice, false evidence, skipping the country. That sort of thing.”

Robert stared at him and Aaron looked away again, dragging his fork back and forth through his mashed up food. “He must be some friend, for you to do that for him.”

“Yeah,” Aaron murmured. “Looks out for me.”

Robert wanted to say something, wanted to argue that letting Aaron take the blame for his stupidity was not Adam ‘looking out’ for him in any form, but Aaron looked anxious, his shoulders hunched in, all his attention on his plate; Robert didn’t want to push it. They only had tonight and tomorrow, he didn’t want to ruin that.

“So.” He cleared his throat. “What would you wear to do your… scrapping? Short shorts? You could sell tickets, cover your start up costs.”

Aaron looked back up, a smile spreading across his face. 

He sloped off when they were finished, leaving Robert to clear everything away and load up the dishwasher. Robert had drunk the best part of a bottle of wine and felt a little muzzy from it, though Aaron had put away three lagers and seemed fine. Robert didn’t know where he put it all.

He found him in the front room after, watching the telly.

“Is this what you’re like at home?” Robert said, coming over to couch. Aaron was watching _Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away_. “Work shy?”

“I’m worse at home,” Aaron said and thumped twice on his chest, punctuating it with a belch. He grinned. Charming.

Robert wasn’t sure why he was so attracted to this slightly disgusting lad, but he was. “Wanna head upstairs?” 

“Oof,” Aaron murmured, and patted his stomach. “Too full. Sit down.”

“Really?” Robert said, but sat down anyway. “We’re going to watch chavs get their shit taken away instead of having sex?”

Aaron shrugged. “We’ve got all night. I’ve seen some people I knew from school on the show.”

“I’m surprised _your family_ hasn’t been featured yet,” Robert replied. Aaron backhanded him lightly in the chest, then put his arm around Robert’s shoulders and pulled him closer. Robert slumped down a bit, tipping to the side, his head falling on Aaron’s shoulder. Aaron settled his fingers in his hair, tugging and twisting at the strands. It seemed a little weird at first, as they watched some bloke kick off on screen, but that, the wine, and the meal was starting to put Robert to sleep, truth be told. Aaron hadn’t been wrong about being too full.

“You need a haircut,” Aaron said softly.

“Mmhm.”

“Bernice’s got a salon, you know.”

Robert scoffed, forcing himself to wake up a little. “I’d sooner shave my head than let that airhead near my hair.”

“You might have to,” Aaron said, and combed his fingers through Robert’s hair, all the way from the back to the front, making a mess of it. Robert’s eyes fluttered shut. “Unless you’re looking to go back to the mullet.”

“Hey,” Robert muttered, pressing in closer, turning his nose into Aaron’s neck.

Aaron laughed and turned his head a little, pressing a kiss to Robert’s forehead.

“ _Poldark’s_ on soon,” Robert said, “can we switch over?”

“Nah,” Aaron said, and Robert could hear the smile in his voice. “ _Traffic Cops_ is next.”

-

It was raining the next morning when he woke up curled around Aaron, raindrops pinging off the window panes. He found it quite soothing and nuzzled his face into the back of Aaron’s neck, earning a soft breath of laughter from Aaron and him stretching his arm back and sliding it through Robert’s hair. Robert pressed in harder, throwing his leg over Aaron’s hip, splaying his hand underneath Aaron’s t-shirt. Aaron arched back into him, gripping tighter at his hair, and Robert opened his mouth against the warm skin of his neck. They stayed like that for a few minutes, sluggishly rutting against each other, before Aaron squirmed in Robert’s grip, rolling over to face him. Robert could feel the rise and fall of Aaron’s chest against his, close enough to see the crusty bits of sleep in the corners of his eyes. They kissed slowly, deeply, until Robert was groaning into his mouth and Aaron had pushed their pyjama bottoms down and started jerking them both off, his hand not quite fitting around their shared girth.

Robert came embarrassingly fast, his mouth open against Aaron’s jaw, light dancing on the backs of his eyelids. Aaron kissed him gently afterwards, soft little presses of his lips peppered across Robert’s cheeks before he reached over and grabbed some tissues to clean them up. When he was finished, he balled them up and tossed them carelessly onto the carpet. Robert grimaced and checked the clock – it wasn’t even eight yet.

“I’m hungry,” Aaron complained, “make us some breakfast, yeah?”

“Really?” Robert said. His limbs were still felt heavy from sleep and orgasm and the last thing he wanted to do was get out of bed. Aaron tugged at his hair.

“Come on, show me that manly full English of yours.”

“Fine,” Robert sighed, “but you’re at least getting out of bed too.”

Aaron did, not that it made much difference, since he immediately installed himself back on the couch, wrapped up in a dressing gown, his hair soft and fluffy. Robert heaved a loud sigh, which didn’t rouse him from his telly-induced stupor, and went into the kitchen. He threw on the streaky bacon and sausages, though the smell made his stomach turn this early in the morning, heated the beans, and made the toast. 

He checked his phone while everything cooked – he had a new message from Chrissie, to go along with all the others she’d been sending. He replied to one or two with lame excuses, but had ignored the rest.

 _I would appreciate if you’d respond to my messages. We arranged months ago that you’d be my plus one for my cousin’s wedding. I hope you haven’t forgotten,_ her message read. He had as it happened and a wedding would mean several thou. From the front room he heard Aaron laughing. He snapped the phone shut and dropped it into his dressing gown pocket. 

Two cups of tea and a banana for him finished off the tray and he yelled for Aaron to come to the table, but Aaron called back that he was already comfortable in the front room. It didn’t seem like an argument worth having and it wasn’t like it really mattered, so he carried the tray out.

Aaron had hardly moved, slumped down on the couch, except now he was on his phone, his chin almost to his chest. Robert put the tray down on the coffee table. “Who you texting?” he asked. “Your boyfriend?”

“Nah, my boyfriend’s a twat,” he said, and held Robert’s gaze as he grinned. It was the first time Aaron had called him his boyfriend, in typical Aaron style. He held out his phone. “Texting my mum.”

Robert took it – a basic Nokia phone that Robert might have had six, seven years past – and read the message out. “‘Had good time last night’ – night spelt n-i-t-e – ‘back later’ – later with an ‘8’ – three kisses.”

“All right, clever clogs,” Aaron said, snatching the phone back, “we can’t all be educated like you.”

Robert smiled quickly and sat down beside him. Aaron dragged himself up with a grunt and started in on the bacon, munching onto it for a moment before eyeing Robert’s tea and banana.

“That all you’re having?”

Robert picked up the banana and started peeling it. “We can’t all eat like a gannet first thing.”

“I’m a working man,” Aaron argued, picking up the slice of toast to wipe up some of the grease, not paying much mind to the crumbs.

“I’m going to get it in the neck from Pollard about getting crumbs on the couch, you know,” Robert said.

Aaron shrugged. “Do you care?”

“Well, he doesn’t half go on. I’m here at ‘their discretion, young man’,” he said, affecting Eric’s stupid voice. Aaron grinned and shook his head.

“You’re paying, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, mates’ rates, though.”

“How long do you think you’re going to stay on?” Aaron asked, turning his head away as he talked. He picked up his mug and sipped it nonchalantly.

“Dunno,” Robert said, watching the side of Aaron’s face carefully. Aaron nodded and glanced back at him, his eyes nervous. Impulsively, Robert leant forward and kissed him, tasting the grease and salt of the fry up on his lips, then settled down to watch Andrew Marr, heedless of Aaron’s complaints; he’d watched all that rubbish yesterday without complaining as much as he could have – though that was partially because he’d fallen asleep for some of it – so Aaron could suck it up for a while.

When Aaron had decimated everything on his plate, he pulled his legs up underneath him and pressed in closer to Robert, crossing the short distance to the remote on the other side of Robert and muted the TV. Robert sighed but didn’t argue. The show hadn’t really been holding his attention, truth be told.

“You want to do something this afternoon?” Aaron asked.

“Like what?”

“Go into Hotten, see a film?”

Robert tipped his head closer. “How’re we going to get out of here and on the bus without anyone seeing us?”

“Excuse me!” Aaron said with a laugh. “I’m a proper James Bond now.”

Robert smiled. “All right, Jim, what d’you wanna see?”

“ _Fifty Shades of Grey_ is playing at the multiplex,” Aaron said, but laughed before Robert could respond. “How about _Hot Tub Time Machine 2_?”

“And that’s supposed to be better?”

“Come on,” Aaron said, reaching out and curling his warm hand around Robert’s hip, “it’ll be a laugh.”

Their ideas of ‘a laugh’ were wildly opposing, Robert thought, but he’d grin and bear it for Aaron’s sake. “All right, but later, yeah?” he said. “It’s only early and we haven’t even got in the shower yet.”

-

Despite his better judgement, Robert did end up at Bernice’s salon, if only because she overheard him booking an appointment with a hairdresser in town and offered to do it for free. That’d save on the bus fare as well, and he hated counting his pennies but he’d broken a thousand pounds spent now, and every little helped, as the saying went.

The place was entirely too pink for his liking and Bernice flittered around anxiously, practically shoving him into a chair.

“So, what do you want?” she asked, holding a pair of scissors and a can of hairspray.

“Er, shorter on the back and the sides, longer on top,” he said, eyeing her in the mirror.

She ran her fingers through his hair in a way that was definitely not step-sisterly and sighed. “Are you sure, you have lovely hair.”

“I’m sure,” he said. “You have cut men’s hair before, right?” Had she even cut women’s hair before, he wondered.

“ _Yes_ ,” she said, with an expression on her face that told him _no, she hadn’t_. She tugged at his hair again. “Your roots are showing,” she said, “you want me to lift the blond?”

He stared at her in the mirror for a second and she smiled, then rested her hands on his shoulders and leant down. “I won’t tell anyone, don’t worry. Hairdresser/client confidentiality.”

“Right,” he said, as she grinned mischievously at him, “all right, yeah.”

She whipped out her mixing bowl and tin foil strips and got down to work. Robert’s suggestion that she didn’t need to wrap his hair with the foil was met with dismissal, but he refused to go under the hood dryer. She kept up idle chat while she worked, Robert responding in kind, despite the inanity of it. He was used to inane chat with the boring middle aged, but Bernice was in another league.

She yanked him over to the sinks after and scrubbed his hair within an inch of its life, still chattering away, though he couldn’t hear her over the sound of the water, then directed him back to his chair, where she snapped a pair of scissors ominously behind his head and fastened a cape around his neck. It was too late to back out now, all he could do was sit back and hope for the best.

“How’s it going with Andy and Katie?” she asked sweetly.

“We’re just staying out of each other’s way.”

She hummed sympathetically. “Me too, after what happened.”

“What happened?”

Her mouth dropped open. “You didn’t hear?”

He shook his head.

“ _Well_ ,” she said, a gleam in her eye. “Andy and I were dating--”

Robert grimaced. “He’s your stepbrother.”

She tutted. “Adopted. Oh… don’t tell him I said that. Anyway, me and Andy were in love – well, I was in love with him, anyway, and then I caught him kissing Katie out on the street for everyone to see!”

“What did you do?”

She paused in her sipping and looked at him in the mirror. “I hit her with Finn’s sausage outside the pub.”

“You what?”

“And then a few weeks later, I poured spaghetti carbonara over her,” she continued, looking deep in thought. He hiccuped with laughter and she sighed and started cutting again. “He said he’d broken up with me, but I didn’t know that and I made a fool myself making a nice tea for him, so… And then on their wedding day, I had a little tipple and went down to the church wearing her wedding dress…”

He bent forward, burying his face in his hands, crying with laughter. She sighed again as he wiped at his face. 

“They weren’t my proudest moments,” she said.

“Oh God,” he said, and took a deep breath, sitting back again. “God, they should be, Bernice, I wish I’d come to the wedding now.”

She smiled. “Well,” she said, “he did use me until something better came along.”

“He did,” Robert agreed, trying not to grin too widely. Bernice was practically old enough to be his and Andy’s mother, so he couldn't see something like that lasting, but God, what a story.

“And _her_ ,” Bernice said venomously. “Little slapper.”

Maybe having Bernice do his hair hadn’t been such a bad idea after all.

-

When he swanned into the pub later, Vic pounced on him immediately. It hadn’t come out half bad, though the colour might have been a little too bright, but he expected it to fade after a few days. Chas eyed him like he was a bad smell and kept on pulling pints.

“You’re looking good!” Vic said. “Give us a spin!”

“Shut up,” he said, but let her reach over the bar and run her hand over the back of his head.

“Very nice,” she decided. “Trying to impress someone?”

He glanced to the left, where Aaron and Adam were clustered at the corner of the bar, like a couple of gossiping teenagers. Aaron flicked his eyes over for a second, then went back to his conversation with Adam. “Can’t I just want a change?”

Vic narrowed her eyes. “Mm, I don’t know, I don’t see you around much.”

“I’m around.”

She didn’t look dissuaded. “Have you been going out on the pull?”

“No,” he said, maybe a little too firm, as Vic raised her eyebrows at that. “I haven’t.”

She placed her elbows on the bar and leant forward. “Robert, have you got a girlfriend?”

He glanced across at Aaron again, who was listening to Adam more intently than a conversation with Adam would ever require. “Kind of, yeah.”

“Oh!” Vic said, and clapped her hands. “Who is she, why haven’t you told me about her?”

“It’s still early days,” he said. “She… works at my firm.”

“What’s her name? What’s she like?”

“Chrissie,” he said, the first name that came into his head. He cringed internally. “She’s nice.”

“Nice? That’s faint praise. Isn’t she annoyed that you’ve been away so long?”

“She’s on holiday.” He took a breath. “Can we relax it with the Spanish Inquisition, Vic?”

She pouted and shook her head. “I’m only taking an interest,” she grumbled.

“I’m going to the bogs,” Aaron said to Adam, louder than necessary. That was for Robert’s benefit then.

He stayed at the bar for a few minutes, sipping at his beer, as Vic faded away into the back and Chas was occupied with James, then slipped away, following Aaron to the toilets.

“Finally,” Aaron groaned, when he walked through the door, and pulled him close.

“Couldn’t make it obvious, could I?” Robert said, but anything else he might have wanted to say was swallowed by Aaron’s mouth on his, his hands exploring Robert’s shoulders and then the back of his head. He walked the two of them into a stall and closed the door, pushing Robert up against the door.

“I didn’t realise a haircut would cause such a stir in the village,” Robert murmured as Aaron moved his mouth down, sliding his lips across Robert’s jaw.

“Caused a stir in my pants,” Aaron said, and his face creased up with laughter.

Robert slid his hands around Aaron’s face, kissing him until they were both breathless. Aaron got a hand down Robert’s trousers and started jerking him slowly, making him stumble in his kisses and give up altogether after a moment. He rolled his head back against the door, his knees giving slightly, and rode it out.

Through the haze and sound of their mingled heavy breathing, he vaguely heard a door open. Aaron stilled and a second later clamped his hand over Robert’s mouth. Robert raised his eyebrows.

“Aaron?” Adam’s stupid voice called. Robert could hear him taking a piss. This felt uncomfortably familiar.

Aaron squeezed his eyes shut, clenching his teeth, and Robert would have laughed if it weren’t for the hand over his mouth.

“Yeah?” Aaron replied.

“You all right? You’ve been in here a while.”

“Yeah,” Aaron repeated, “er, got the runs. Must’ve been something I ate.” He sounded strained enough for that to be the truth. “Gonna have to give tonight a miss.”

“Aw, Vic was looking forward to a night on the town.” The tap started to run, so at least Adam had that going for him.

“You don’t need me for that. Have a romantic night on the tiles.”

The tap turned off again and Robert could hear Adam’s footsteps approaching the stall. He held his breath; if Adam glanced down, all hell was going to break loose. “Yeah, okay, we will. Least Robert seems to have pushed off, can’t get away from him, it feels like.”

“Yeah,” Aaron said, locking eyes with Robert. “He’s the worst. See you tomorrow.”

“Have fun,” Adam said and laughed. 

They waited until he walked away and the door clicked shut again before moving. Aaron pulled his hand away slowly and Robert was all ready to have a go, but Aaron dragged his fingers across his lips and Robert’s mind went blank, his mouth dropping open. Aaron tentatively pressed his fingers into Robert’s mouth, his eyes flickering over his face, and Robert closed his mouth carefully. He’d done things like this before, been on his knees, some light BDSM, a little slapping around, so long as it didn’t leave a mark, but this felt different, like they were frozen for a moment in their own little world.

Aaron pulled his hand away from his mouth, to Robert’s disappointment, and from his trousers, to even further disappointment. He tucked him back in, still hard and wanting.

“Aren’t you gonna at least finish me off?” Robert said, but his voice sounded more soft and uncertain than cutting.

Aaron shook his head. “I’ll meet you at the Grange in ten minutes.” He unlatched the door and jostled Robert aside to let him out. “You go ahead.”

“Seriously? How am I going to get past everyone?” He must have looked a state already, how was he going to walk across a pub full of people without arousing suspicion? Arousing being the operative word.

Aaron looked him up and down and Robert’s knees felt weak again. “You’ll figure it out.”

-

Aaron had gone to town on him that night, leaving behind a nice reminder in the form of a bruise just above Robert’s collarbone. It was low enough to be covered by a shirt collar, just, and he dressed carefully in the days after he got it. He didn’t mind; in fact, he rather liked pressing his fingers to it and remembering Aaron on top of him, biting at him like that, grinding his hips down until Robert saw stars. If only every night could be like that, every day like their Sunday alone.

His relationship with Vic had got back on an even keel, he thought. He’d missed so much of her life – helping with homework, her mates, her boyfriends (though that might have been a good thing). He didn’t know why she’d decided to become a chef or what she saw in Adam. He didn’t know who her friends were or what she liked to do for fun. 

He’d seen her a handful of times since he left the village. The year after, she’d come out to Spain to visit Gran and they’d been under the same roof for a while, but he’d been bartending late into the nights then, deep in his grandmother’s bad books for drinking and sleeping around, and Vic had been uncomfortable around him. He hadn’t made any effort with her, not even to see her off when she left to go back home. After that, she’d visited him a couple of times in London, when he was renting a flat he couldn’t afford, but after Connor, he’d deflected all her hopes to visit again and eventually found it was easier just to not really talk to her at all.

She didn’t seem to hold it against him, which already made her a better person than him, and she put up with him lingering around like a loose end. He’d been in the village for almost six weeks now and everyone was talking about when they’d see the back of him.

“Make yourself useful,” she said good-naturedly. They were in the pub kitchen, Chas blessedly out for a while, and she had pies to bake. It was nice watching her work, stomping around with such authority. He remembered how shy she’d been when she was little, how him and Katie had made it so much worse, and he was relieved that she was okay now. She gestured to the top cupboards. “Get the pie dish down, will you? Marlon always puts it up there, like he’s forgotten we’re not all giraffes.”

Robert laughed. He certainly wasn’t as tall as Marlon, but he could reach the shelf if he stretched. He turned back and leant over the middle island to pass it over to her. She took it, her eyes dropping.

“What’s that?” she asked.

“What’s what?”

She pointed to his neck. “That bruise.”

He put his hand over it instinctively and couldn’t help a wince.

“Oh, _Robert_ , you haven’t,” she said with a sigh. “You have a girlfriend! Is it someone from the village?”

“What? No!” He found himself spluttering against the accusation, even though he had nothing to be guilty over. It wasn’t like there wasn’t a time when he wouldn’t have done something like that.

She stared at him for a moment, then wrinkled her nose. “You didn’t… go to someone, did you?” She said it like it was the worst thing she could possibly think of, the most disgusting thing in the world.

He flinched like she’d slapped him. “Paid someone, you mean?”

She opened her mouth, then closed it again, her expression suggesting she knew she’d gone wrong.

“I didn’t sleep with a _prostitute_ ,” he said, biting out the word, and grabbed his jacket. He left the kitchen to Vic’s calls for him to wait, but she didn’t follow him.

He started walking, away from the pub, away from the village. There were people on the street, but no one tried to talk to him. Paddy was outside the vet’s as Robert passed, but he didn’t wave or call out a pleasant hello, like he would have done if it’d been Andy lumbering through. No one here in this fucking hell hole village would ever have a kind word to say to or about him and he was dreaming to think otherwise. He loved Vic, but she thought the same about him, deep down, Andy and Dad and Katie had whispered about all the terrible things Robert had done when she was only a little girl and why not? Why wouldn’t they talk about the black sheep who abandoned them, wouldn’t show his face at his own father’s funeral?

He walked until the centre of the village disappeared from view, a route down Hotten Road that he’d always know by heart. He remembered this walk from when the car routinely broke down and they had to fetch the mechanic, when Dad would send him out for supplies and dismiss his complaints about the long walk hurting his feet, when he ran away from home because he couldn’t stand the sound of his parents arguing.

This was the walk home.

He was almost an hour down the road when he saw the tow truck coming towards him. He put his head down, but the truck slowed and Aaron popped his head out the window.

“Robert? What’re you doing?”

“Walking.”

Aaron’s face creased into a frown. “Right, I can see that. Why?”

“Needed a breather.”

“Why?”

Robert huffed. “I had a fight with Vic, all right?” he snapped, already regretting his tone. Aaron was the sole person in this dump who cared enough about him to stop and ask.

“All right,” Aaron said, and stopped the truck. “Hop in.”

He shook his head. “I’m going somewhere. Want to see something.”

“I’ll drive you.”

“It’s just up there,” Robert said, pointing in the direction Aaron had just come from, at the overgrown opening for the dirt path he knew was there. Frankly, he didn’t trust that Aaron wouldn’t pack him off back to the village if he got in.

Aaron sighed, then pulled over to the shoulder and got out.

“What are you doing?” Robert asked.

“Walking with you.”

“You can’t park there.”

Aaron laughed. “What are they gonna do, tow me? Come on, what is it you want to see?”

Robert shoved his hands in his pockets. “Why do you want to come?”

“Because you look a state. What happened with Vic?”

Robert started walking again, Aaron falling into step beside him. “Nothing,” Robert said, and Aaron eyed him, unconvinced. “Really, hardly anything major. She… saw the bruise on my chest, asked if I was cheating on my ‘girlfriend’, asked if I’d paid someone.”

“Shit,” Aaron said softly. “Sorry.”

Robert shrugged.

“Don’t you think sometimes--” Aaron stopped for a moment and wrinkled his nose. “Don’t you think it’d be easier to come clean with them.”

“What?” Robert snapped, staring at him incredulously. “Tell ‘em I’m a prostitute?”

“No, not that part, but the… being bisexual part.” The part about the two of them, Robert filled in for him.

“No, I don’t want people knowing,” he said sharply. “I don’t want to hear people fucking whispering about me.”

Aaron sighed. “What do you think is gonna happen? You’re not the only gay in the village.”

“I’m not gay at all!”

Aaron flinched a little and Robert made a swift turn into the mouth of the path. The old sign was long gone, no indications left to what lay beyond. Aaron followed, his footsteps hard and loud on the leaf-covered ground. “Well, you’re not the only bi, either. You know, half the women in the village are bisexual, seems like.”

“That’s different.”

Aaron snorted. “How’s it different?”

“I don’t know, do they get asked if they have AIDS?” Robert shot back, almost shouting. “Do they get marked down as engaging in ‘risky behaviour’? Do they have to hide it when they go with the opposite sex before of how ‘gross’ anal sex is?”

The irritated expression on Aaron’s face had fallen away, his face now tensed in sympathy. If anything, that was worse. He touched Robert’s arm. “You know it wouldn’t be like that here. When I came out, everyone supported me.”

Robert swallowed and looked ahead. He could see a chimney stack rising from among the trees. “That’s different too.”

“Why?”

“Because everyone likes you,” he said quietly. “They won’t do that for me.”

Aaron opened his mouth to speak, but Robert pulled ahead. They’d reached the edge of the pasture, the ground left unploughed for years, the thickets and stinging nettles they used to beat back growing untouched now. The farmhouse stood nearby, its windows smashed and graffiti marking the side of it, a house being reclaimed by the earth. The fact that it was an abandoned wreck seemed fitting, somehow.

“Where are we?” Aaron asked, coming up beside him again.

Robert looked up at the house. There was a ruddy big crack running all the way down the left side of the house, a third of the building shearing off, tiles on the roof missing, letting the elements batter the insides. “Emmerdale Farm,” he said.

“Your family’s old farm?” Aaron asked and Robert nodded. “I didn’t even know it was here. It’s looking pretty rough.”

“Subsidence,” Robert said, and gestured to the crack. Where the crack was at its worst on the top floor was where his bedroom had been. When he was little, he’d thought it was funny that his marbles would roll across the room and gather in the far corner by the window, but he’d never thought about why that was. “The old mineshafts underneath here started to cave in and the house went with it. We had to move out in ‘93. It’s listed, so we couldn’t knock it down, and didn’t have the money to repair it. Council didn’t bother to do anything. We moved up the road to another cottage, but that got knocked down to build a through road. We’d been on this land since the 1850s.”

“That’s a long time,” Aaron said, and on better days Robert would have said something about him being Captain Obvious, but he just nodded.

“They renamed the village in our honour. Used to just be me, Mum, Dad, and Gran living here.”

“Is this where your mum…?” Aaron asked softly.

Robert shook his head. “That’s the other side of the village.” He wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to go back there – the years he’d had to live there after the fire were some of the hardest of his life. He wondered sometimes how he hadn’t killed Andy in his sleep; he’d certainly thought about it enough. “She wasn’t my real mother, you know.” He hated to say it like that, that she wasn’t ‘real’, as if she hadn’t existed, but he didn’t know how else to put it.

“She wasn’t?”

“My… real mother died when I was four months old.”

Aaron rested his hand on Robert’s back, shifting closer. “I’m sorry.”

Robert wanted to shrug but didn’t want Aaron to stop touching him, so he just tipped his head. “She was forty two when she had me, I’ve got two older half-siblings who don’t want to know.”

“And one of them died, right?” 

“That was my only full sibling. Dad got my mother pregnant in the sixties but left before she found out; she passed the kid off as her new husband’s, despite the fact that she named him John Jacob after Dad. Obviously her husband wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. Jackie accidentally killed himself with a shotgun when I was three.”

“God,” Aaron murmured.

“It was all right for a while, when it was just me and Dad.” Gran had done most of the work when he was little, from what he’d been told, helping him take his first steps across the farmhouse floorboards, making him his brekkie, putting him to bed when Dad was off fucking around. “And with Mum. I guess before Vic and Andy came along, he didn’t know any better, he didn’t know he could have a kid better than me.”

“That can’t be true,” Aaron said. “He must’ve been proud of you.”

“He wasn’t,” he replied, and Aaron hummed slightly. “He wasn’t, okay?”

“Vic was always bragging about her big brother being a hot shot in London,” Aaron argued, “Jack must have been proud of that.”

“And none of that was true!” Robert snapped. He pulled back, the comforting hand of Aaron slipping away. He turned towards him; Aaron had a pained expression on his face. “That was all a lie, wasn’t it? I told them I was some fancy property developer when I was just a fucking estate agent! Everything’s always a lie. Small mercy that he died before I started prostituting myself. He made it very clear to me what he thought of my aberrant behaviour.”

Aaron winced. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think he was like that.”

“He wasn’t,” Robert said. “It was just me, he didn’t want a son like me. He loved me, but he’d’ve loved me more if I’d stayed ont’ farm, shovelled pig shit, and had a litter of kids with some bird.” Just like _Andy_.

Aaron pulled him close and wrapped his arms around him. “You’re amazing, all right? I think you’re amazing.”

Robert rested his chin on Aaron’s shoulder and sighed. “Thanks,” he murmured.

Aaron closed his hand around the back of Robert’s head and kissed him. “I mean it.”

“Course you do,” Robert said, and winked, tried to inject as much confidence as he could into his voice. Aaron smiled fondly and kissed him again.

“You wanna go back? It’s probably not safe to be out here.”

Robert nodded. “You’re probably right. Yeah, let’s go back.”

They walked back down the path, back to the truck, hardly a word spoken between them. Robert felt worn out, nothing left to say, and Aaron didn’t push. They got in and Robert leant his head back against the seat, sighing deeply.

“I’m sorry that it’s so tough on you, being here,” Aaron said as he drove. He was looking straight ahead, didn’t turn at all to look at Robert.

“Me too,” Robert said.

They drove the rest of the way in silence, Aaron keeping his eyes on the road, while Robert studied his face in short bursts, the stubble, the straight nose, the worried tilt of his mouth and tense lines of his forehead. Aaron held all his worries and fears inside, same as Robert, wouldn’t admit anything without a fight.

Robert’s phone buzzed as they pulled back onto Main Street. He got it out of his pocket and checked the message.

_The wedding is tomorrow, Robert. Get back to me._

He sighed and snapped the phone shut, Aaron watching him out of the corner of his eye. He didn’t ask, though he looked like he wanted to, and parked around the back of the pub. They got out and headed back to the street. He’d been gone just a little over an hour. Nothing had changed, the village was the same, Aaron was the same. Robert felt the same crawling feeling in his chest, like he needed to climb out of his skin and become someone else.

“Aaron,” he said, and closed his hand around Aaron’s arm to stop him. They were in front the pedestrianised area outside the pub, near the picnic tables. There were people milling about, Bob outside the café, the vicar walking down the road. Aaron turned towards him with raised eyebrows. “Everything’s always a lie.”

Aaron frowned. “Okay?”

“I never tell anyone the truth about anything. It’s all a story I’ve made up to impress people.” Aaron’s frown had only deepened at Robert’s explanation. He took a breath. “I have four GCSEs and that’s it. I let people think I’ve been to university, even lied on CVs, but the truth is I couldn’t have hacked even my A-levels. So, when you think I’m so smart, it’s just another lie.”

“I don’t think you’re _that_ smart,” Aaron said, still frowning a little, but smiling too. “Not like I didn’t leave school at sixteen too.”

Robert hadn’t let go of his arm at all while he talked and now he used his hold to pull Aaron closer. Andy and Katie had parked a little way down the road, just getting out of their car now. Good, an audience. “You were right when you said that I was like a different person in Manchester.” He bit his lip, looking at Aaron’s mouth. “You were right about everything.”

“What’re you doing?” Aaron said softly.

“Telling the truth,” he said, and closed the short distance, kissing Aaron, a firm, sloppy kiss, no way for anyone around them to misinterpret it. Aaron pulled back for a moment, his eyes wide, and glanced around.

“You said you didn’t want everyone knowing,” he murmured.

Robert felt drunk, a light, heady feeling filling him up. “I’m not ashamed of this, of you. Everything else… It’s enough.” Aaron didn’t look like he understood and, truthfully, Robert didn’t understand either, the flip that had switched in his head, but it had and it was done and Robert didn’t back down from a situation easy.

Aaron looked over his shoulder. “Your brother’s over there,” he said. Indeed Andy was, stopped dead in whatever he was doing to gape at the scene.

“Maybe we should do it again, in case he missed it the first time,” Robert said.

Aaron’s grin was beautiful, happy and amazed, and he tugged Robert back in, hands around his face. Robert closed his fingers around handfuls of Aaron’s overalls and held on as the kiss turned dirty, open mouthed and breathless, leaning some of his weight on Aaron. When they broke apart this time, everyone was looking, and Aaron grabbed his hand with a grin and dragged him around the side of the pub and into the back. “Get up them stairs,” he said, and Robert didn’t need telling twice.

“We’ve probably only got a couple of minutes before my mum twigs,” Aaron said, panting a little, when they got into his room and closed the door.

Robert grinned. “Better make those minutes count, then.”

Aaron unbuttoned Robert’s shirt and shucked out of his own overalls in record time, then latched onto Robert's belt, using it like a handle to steer him around the room. He didn’t mind – rather enjoyed it, in fact – and slipped his hands under Aaron’s t-shirt, rucking it up over his stomach. Aaron let go of the belt with one hand and clutched at the back of Robert’s head, holding them flush, kissing until their teeth clacked together and he laughed, easing off a bit. Robert couldn’t stop, dropping his mouth to Aaron’s neck, biting at his skin the way Aaron so loved doing to him. His whole carefully constructed life was about to come down around his ears, but all he wanted to do was keep touching Aaron, touch him public, touch him whenever he wanted, everywhere he wanted.

Aaron wrapped his arms around him, pressed his fingers into Robert’s hair, and Robert ground his hips forward, enjoying the way Aaron’s breath stuttered and thinned.

There was a hammering at the door, followed immediately by the door opening and Chas’s shrill, “Aaron!”

They broke apart, though Robert didn’t go far. Chas was huffing and puffing in the doorway, her eyes flitting between the two of them. Her eyes dropped briefly to Aaron’s exposed stomach before he tugged his t-shirt back down.

“When Katie said they’d seen you tonguing Robert Sugden for the whole village to see, I told her she was off her head!” 

Robert laughed a little and Chas’s eyes flashed dangerously. “She is off her head,” he said, despite the warning signs, “just not about this.”

“Rob,” Aaron said, without much heat. Chas looked fit to pop and then Victoria thundered up the stairs and squealed at the sight of them. Aaron gestured to Robert’s discarded shirt. “Put your top on.”

Robert turned, but didn’t pick up his shirt, instead snagging Aaron’s hoodie from where it was hung over the foot board of his bed and zipping it up over his chest. Aaron raised his eyebrows, more amused than anything, Robert thought.

“Right, downstairs, _now_ ,” Chas ordered.

They trailed out like a row of ducklings, Robert bringing up the rear. He stalled just before they went into the living room, his stomach rolling uneasily, like his anxiety was just running late and had finally caught up to him. He took a steadying breath and stepped inside.

“You explain, right now--” Chas was saying.

The side of Aaron’s neck was still shiny with Robert’s drying saliva and he stared at it as Aaron spoke. “Mum, you know I’m an adult, right?”

“No prizes for guessing where you got that bruise, then,” Vic said to Robert. He shrugged, tried to look confident.

“So, it’s true?” Diane said. She was standing by the couch, the calmest of the three of them. It was as good as a rhetorical question, since no one responded.

“Well, you hardly act like one!” Chas shouted at Aaron. “I told you how he gets everyone wrapped around his little finger! He’s using you!”

“Now, that’s a little harsh,” Diane argued. 

Robert smiled to himself; if only Chas knew how her son had been able to turn his life upside down in just a few short months. There was only one person here wrapped around the other’s finger.

“What are you smiling about?” Chas asked, rounding on him.

“Just having fun,” he said. Aaron rolled his eyes.

Chas looked back at him. “It _was_ Robert you were going off to see in Manchester for all that time, wasn’t it?”

“Er...” Aaron murmured, looking unsure.

“Yeah,” Robert cut in. “Every time.”

“How long have you two been...” Diane asked carefully.

“Six months, give or take.”

Chas’s eyes bugged out quite comically at that.

“But...” Vic frowned as she digested the information. “What were you doing in Manchester all that time?”

Robert opened his mouth, no answer forthcoming. That was why Aaron had stalled on it – why hadn’t Robert been in London all those times they were fucking each other’s brains out? A whole load more lies were coming apart now. “I lost my job,” he said quickly.

“What? When?”

“A-- a year ago. I… moved up to Manchester a year ago.” He was quickly building a new story, each lie another brick. “I got a job selling used car parts. That’s how I met Aaron.” He looked to Aaron, who nodded, though not that convincingly.

“What?” Vic sounded hurt, and he cringed at that, but she’d only be more hurt, and disgusted, if she knew the total, unvarnished truth. “Why didn’t you say? You’ve been lying to us for a year?”

“Well, I was embarrassed, wasn’t I? Selling junk parts to mechanics is a bit of a comedown, you know?” Under his breath, Aaron muttered, ‘steady’, which almost made Robert laugh, but he held firm. “And now… I’ve been sacked from that too, haven’t I? So I’m a right failure on all fronts.”

“What about that party you went off too?”

He shrugged. “Last ditch attempt to get my job back. Boss didn’t appreciate me taking all that time off when I got hurt. It’s one of the reasons I’m still here. Lost my flat and all.”

It was almost the truth, it was truth-esque and an easier lie to maintain. Vic stared at him, then shook her head. “So,” she said, her voice softening, “you’re gay?”

“I’m not gay,” he said quickly. “I’m… bisexual.”

“Since when?”

“Er, since always?” He shrugged. “Didn’t note down the date I first fancied a bloke, Vic.”

“And there’s no girlfriend? No Chrissie?”

“What do you take me for, Vic?” he asked. Chas scoffed. “Aaron’s the ‘girlfriend’.”

“Oi,” Aaron said, then shook his head. “There’s something else.” 

There was? Robert looked at him as Aaron sucked on his lip for a second. “I want Robert to move in here, at least for a while,” he said in a rush.

“You do?” Robert asked.

“Well, you can’t afford to stay at the B&B forever, can you?” Aaron said. He looked a little unsure of himself now.

“Yeah,” Robert said, and smiled. Aaron smiled back.

“Absolutely not,” Chas snapped. “Are you crazy?”

Aaron looked at Diane. “What do you think?”

“It’s fine by me,” Diane said, as Chas looked on, furious. “It’d be nice to have you, love.”

Robert doubted she meant that, but he appreciated the lie.

“Two against one, then,” Aaron said.

“One against one, actually,” Chas said, “since I don’t remember you buying into the pub.”

“ _Mum_ ,” Aaron complained, sounding about fifteen years old. What exactly was Robert letting himself in for if he moved in here? At home with the Dingles, a domestic every evening?

She pursed her lips. “After everything I’ve told you about him, now you want to live with him? How daft are you?”

“To be fair, Chas,” Robert said, “I wouldn’t take relationship advice from you.”

Aaron gave him a light shove. “You’re not helping.”

“I wasn’t trying to,” he said, and laughed when Aaron gave him another, harder shove. Chas heaved a sigh.

“I suppose he’ll be here all the time whether I agree or not, won’t he?”

“Yep,” Aaron said. “Thanks, Mum.”

Chas shook her head and went back out to the bar, muttering about it all ending in tears. Vic looked at the two of them and grinned. 

“My long lost brother and my ex-boyfriend! This’ll be a good story to tell the grandkids!”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Discussion of canon suicide attempt.

Aaron got two texts from Adam in quick succession just a couple of minutes after Diane and Vic left them to it in the back room.

 _WHAT_ , the first read, followed by, _you’d better be in the pub at 6 lad we r gonna TALK._

“Vic didn’t give us much of a chance, then,” Robert said, reading over Aaron’s shoulder.

“It’ll be all round the village by now,” Aaron replied. He turned his head to the side and looked at Robert, holding his breath, but Robert just sighed and nodded.

They whipped around to the B&B sharpish after; the sooner Robert was installed in the pub, the less likely Mum was to take it back. They were able to get next door without being collared by anyone and hurried to his room to pack his bags. Robert seemed okay, if not very talkative, but he must have felt something about it all – coming out like that to the whole village weren’t nothing and after all the years he’d spent hiding it from his family, Aaron wondered how he’d react when the high wore off.

Robert didn’t give him much opportunity to question him about it, though, crowding him against the door once the bags were ready to go. Aaron closed his hands around Robert’s face as they kissed, Robert pressing into him heavily. He never wanted this part to end, but they needed to get back, so he dropped an arm around Robert’s waist and manoeuvred him until he could get the door open.

Val had a glint in her eye when she caught them coming down the stairs.

“The gossip machine still works, then?” Robert said.

“Aye, it does,” she said, and smiled widely at them. “Not that it came as much of a surprise, not to me, anyway.”

Aaron frowned and she laughed and waved her hand. “Next time, don’t yell at Andy about what a terrible brother he is, pet,” she said. Robert smiled at that, so Aaron didn’t feel too embarrassed. “And… we had some noise complaints. You might want to keep it down with your mum and my sister about.”

Okay, now Aaron was embarrassed. Robert cleared his throat.

“I guess you’ll want paying for today,” he said, “since it’s past check out time now…”

It was so laughably obvious that Robert was trying to make her feel bad about it, Aaron thought it was almost sweet. God, he really was fucked if he thought _that_ was sweet. It didn’t escape Val’s attention either, but she just waved him off and wished them luck.

“We’ll need it,” Aaron muttered.

They hurried back to the pub, but not before Cain caught them out on the street, yelling from across the road, drawing looks and few furtive pointed fingers.

“I’m guessing we won’t be seeing you back today, then?”

“Er, no,” Aaron said. “I’ll do a shift tomorrow.”

Cain nodded slowly, and narrowed his eyes at Robert. “Sugden,” he said.

“Dingle,” Robert replied. 

Aaron patted him on the arm to get them moving again, Cain scrutinising them all the while.

Robert stayed in the back once they dropped his bags in Aaron’s room, making excuses not to come out for a drink with Adam. Aaron knew why and decided not to push it just yet; he’d only done the first part of the coming out, now there was all the rest of it, everyone’s reactions and thoughts and opinions. Maybe it was better to come out young, despite how agonising it had been for him; people hadn’t formed solid, long term impressions about him and his sexuality at eighteen. Coming out at near thirty, though, and with Robert’s history, that was a whole other story.

Aaron’s drink with Adam consisted mainly of various iterations of, ‘how could you keep this from me?’, ‘gross, you slept with Victoria,’ and ‘so, we’re gonna be in-laws’.

“I’m not _marrying_ the fella.”

Adam scoffed. “Not yet.”

Aaron sighed. “And you’re not marrying… Hang on, are you?”

Adam shrugged and grinned knowingly.

“Mate,” Aaron started, but was cut off by Andy, approaching their table with a deep frown on his face.

“Vic says you and Rob have been at it for months.”

“‘At it’?” Aaron repeated.

Andy sighed. “You know what I mean.”

“Yeah, well, what I don’t know is why it’s any of your business.”

A muscle in Andy’s jaw jumped as he looked down at them. “Is he around?”

“Not for you,” Aaron said. “Maybe tomorrow.”

Andy shook his head. “Fine,” he said, and walked away.

“Hey.” Adam nudged his hand. “Get him in bed and you’ll have the Sugden set. Come to think of it, you’ve had my sister and my half-brother, too. Christ, Aaron, you don’t half put it about.”

“Oi!” Aaron snapped, and gave him a smack.

-

He woke up the next morning to an empty bed. It was gone eight and raining again outside. Robert’s bags were still in the corner, the lid of his suitcase open, the contents rifled through. Aaron stayed in bed, listening out for a toilet flushing or a tap running, but everything was silent. Robert couldn't have left without his stuff, surely; those were all his worldly possessions, Aaron guessed.

Finally, he heard feet on the stairs and then the door creaked open, Robert coming through carefully with a cup of tea in each hand.

“Made you a cuppa,” he said, “didn’t know what time you normally get up.”

Aaron reached out for one of the cups. “Later than this if I’m not working. Thanks.”

“I’m more used to not having gone to bed yet,” Robert said. He closed the door and came back to the bed, sitting down. “Getting used to being up in the morning is going to take a while.”

They drank in silence for a couple of minutes, Robert blinking tiredly. Aaron wondered if he hadn’t slept much night – Aaron himself had gone off like a log with Robert warming the bed beside him, blocking out his mum’s barbed comments and snide looks with a closed door and his arm around Robert’s middle.

He took the cup off Robert and placed both of them on his one bedside table. He’d have to get another one if Robert was stopping. Robert lay down on his side with a sigh and bunched the pillow up beneath his head. Aaron followed, facing Robert, and reached out, running his fingers through Robert’s hair. Robert closed his eyes with a smile. 

It felt almost embarrassing, to be like this. He’d never been like this with Jackson, never felt comfortable being affectionate with him, even after he’d thought he’d come to terms with being gay. He would have got there, he thought, they would have, but they never got the chance, and all those touches at the end were practical; lifting him in and out of bed, in and out of the bath. Looking back on it now, he knew that they were too young to be stuck in that kind of relationship.

He’d been better with Ed, at least in private. Ed was affectionate, comfortable with himself, despite being a professional rugby player. His team mates had been chill, too, never gave them a hard time. They were in Paris, great friends, no responsibilities – it should have been perfect. Aaron tried to tell himself it was perfect. Ed turned out to be a bit of a wind up merchant, more cheerful and exuberant than Aaron was used to, and wanted to do everything with Aaron. He’d hold his hand in the street and Aaron would pull away, put his arm around him when they were walking down the Champs-Élysées – the most romantic place in Paris, Ed had told him – and Aaron would shrug him off. Ed rarely said anything about it – Ed didn’t argue, that wasn’t his thing. He’d been brought up nice by his mum and dad; slanging matches and fist fights in the streets weren’t part of his life. He didn’t have a single relative who’d ever been to prison. He thought people could just sit down and talk out their problems. He was a nice bloke, through and through.

Aaron tried to be nice back, but his worse nature always shone through in the end and in the end, he knew Ed couldn’t take the highs and lows, Aaron’s narky comments and days’ long strops. It’d been for the best that he’d come home, despite the getting banged up part.

If he hadn’t, he wouldn’t have met Robert.

Robert took a breath and opened his eyes. “Hey,” he said.

“You all right?” Aaron asked. He was kind of rubbing his thumb along Robert’s cheek bone now, not that Robert seemed to mind.

“Yes?” he said, drawing his eyebrows together. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well, you know…” Aaron muttered. “Big day today.”

“Is it?”

Aaron sighed. Robert had been dodging this since yesterday afternoon. “Yeah, unless you’re planning on staying in all day, you’re going to be seeing a lot of people today.”

Robert shrugged his free shoulder. “Maybe I will stay in all day.”

“You know that won’t work – someone’s bound to burst in, can’t hold them back for long. Andy was wanting to see you yesterday but I put him off.”

“Great,” Robert said, and wrinkled up his nose. “I’ll be fine.”

Aaron rubbed his thumb over Robert’s eyebrow. “It’s… not easy, coming out.”

“How was it for you?”

“Not easy,” Aaron repeated. “I, uh, tried to kill myself.”

“Aaron,” Robert breathed, and shifted closer, until they were nose to nose. Aaron left his hand where it was, spread out over Robert’s cheek. “What happened?”

“Tried the old death by carbon monoxide trick,” Aaron said lightly. Robert’s eyes grew wide and sad and Aaron hurried on. “I assaulted this-- this guy I met at a gay bar, got done for ABH. I couldn’t stand it, the thought of everyone finding out. Locked myself in the garage and ran the car. Adam and Cain got me out. Ending up having to come out to everyone in court to get a lighter sentence.” He smiled a bit. “Got community service, so you’re not the only one.”

“I’m sorry,” Robert whispered. His voice sounded hoarse and breathless, like he might be about to cry.

Aaron shook his head. “It’s okay,” he said, willing that look on Robert’s face to disappear. It faded by degrees as Aaron gathered his thoughts. “Look, I don’t expect you to take it as badly as I did, but…”

“You’re worried about me.”

“Yeah,” he murmured.

“Okay,” Robert said, and kissed his forehead softly. “I’m bricking it, to be honest.”

“Do you regret it?”

“How could I?” Robert said, so close that Aaron could feel the words on his face. He didn’t even mind the morning breath. 

“We’ll sort it,” Aaron promised.

“After some more sleep, though, eh?” Robert said, his eyes already fluttering shut again.

-

It was almost ten by the time they were dressed, washed up, and going downstairs. James and Doug were in the living room, drinking tea and reading the paper respectively.

“What time do you call this?” James said, his deep voice carrying across the room.

“I call it… none of your business?” he replied.

James sighed and sipped his tea. “There’s no milk left.”

“Don’t you have pigs to slaughter or summat?” Aaron said. Robert laughed softly beside him.

“Now you’re living under Diane’s roof, Robert,” Doug announced from the settee, “I hope you’re going to show her some respect. If I’d been there when you called her… that I’d’ve--”

“You’d’ve what?” Robert said. “If you’re thinking you’re gonna have to be my new daddy, Doug, you can relax, ‘cause I definitely won’t be taking any advice off you.”

Doug huffed and puffed ineffectually, as per, and Aaron cast his eyes over the room. “Let’s go to Bob’s.”

Robert muttered his agreement and followed him out the back door, shrugging on his jacket as he went. “Bloody hell, I didn’t think that living with you meant living with Doug.”

“He’s all right,” Aaron said, “once you learn to tune him out.”

“And James?” Robert stuck his hands in his pockets. “He all right too?”

Aaron sighed. “Yeah, I guess. He’s a prick, but it’s not gonna last with him and Mum anyway. Nothing ever does. He caused enough fucking aggro with Adam last year.”

“What kind of aggro?”

“Well, all that about finding out he was Adam’s real father really did his head in.”

“He’s Adam’s father?”

Aaron pushed the door to the café open and frowned at Robert. “You didn’t know? I’d’ve thought someone would have said something by now.”

Robert followed him in. “Well, it’s probably because I don’t care. And I don’t talk to Adam much.”

There was a short queue to the counter and some regulars in who perked up at the sight of them, but Robert was looking at him and hadn’t seemed to have notice yet. “Yeah, he can tell,” Aaron said, “you should try a bit harder with him.”

“Do I have to?”

“Well, he’s Vic’s boyfriend--” Fiancée soon, maybe, but Adam asked him not to say anything yet. “--and he’s my best mate, so yeah, you do.”

Robert sniffed. “Yeah, well, you could both do better.”

“He’s done a lot for me,” Aaron said sharply. “Always had my back, even when no one else did.”

Robert glanced away, then back, the snotty look on his face softening. “Right,” he said. “You’re right. I’ll do my best.”

Aaron smiled and stepped closer, knocking his hand against Robert’s. “Thanks,” he said softly.

There was a sudden murmur of conversation from the table behind them, where Pearl, Edna, and Vanessa were sitting. “I’m sorry,” Robert said, “did you want to add something to this private conversation we’re having?”

“Oh!” Pearl said, shifting in her seat. “We were just…”

“Uh huh,” Robert said and turned back to Aaron. “Christ, the old biddies in this village.”

“Hey!” Pearl cried and started grumbling about being called old.

Aaron tried not to laugh, but didn’t succeed much. “Try not to turn everyone against you too quickly,” he said. 

“They’d have to like me first to turn against me,” Robert said, and he was smiling, but it sounded like a sad statement to Aaron.

They reached Bob, who clapped his hands together. “Lads,” he said warmly. “Let me guess… a black coffee and a fry up for you,” he said to Aaron, then turned to Robert. “And for you, an Americano and…”

“Just a danish,” Robert finished.

Bob clicked his tongue. “You do like to keep us guessing--” His eyes went wide suddenly. “Oh, I didn’t mean because of…”

Robert blinked slowly and Bob cleared his throat.

“I’ll bring it over.”

They sat in the corner by the window, Robert slouching down in his chair like he was trying to disappear. Fat chance with that poncy shirt on, Aaron thought. Pearl and Vanessa were very pointedly not looking, same went for Marlon and Paddy when they came in, though Paddy furtively glanced at Aaron, and Aaron knew there’d be an awkward talk in his near future. Bob brought them their food and stumbled over friendly chit-chat.

“I think it’s really nice that you’re… well. You know. Eh, anything that can put a smile on this one’s face is all right.” He gestured vaguely to Aaron with a wide smile of his own

Robert stared at him until he backed off, but smiled a bit when he turned his gaze to Aaron. They ate in silence for a while, only interrupted by Robert’s phone. He flipped it open and frowned down at the message for moment before snapping it shut.

“Something important?” Aaron asked.

“Just a network message… trying to sell me some monthly plan. You’d think they would have twigged that I’m on a pay as you go because I’m too skint for anything else.” He palmed the phone and slipped it back in his pocket. “Hate not having a smartphone.”

“It looks smart enough to me,” Aaron said, just to get a rise out of Robert. Even he knew the difference between a smartphone and a flip phone, not that he much cared.

“A landline looks smart to you,” Robert replied. He pouted a bit, then went back to his coffee.

“Smarter than you,” he said, a silly non sequitur that made Robert roll his eyes fondly.

There was a soft ‘ahem’ to the side of them and they both looked around. “Excuse me,” Edna said. Aaron hadn’t even noticed her coming over.

“Mrs Birch,” Robert said, almost politely.

“If something’s happened to your front garden again, it’s not him,” Aaron added. Robert shot him an amused glance.

She cleared her throat; she looked nervous, Aaron thought. “No, it’s not that. I know a lot of people are going to talk, but I wanted to say that I’m happy for you both. Don’t listen to all the naysayers.”

Robert frowned at her. “Thanks?”

She nodded once. “I’ll leave you to your breakfast, then.”

They both watched her cross back over to her table before Robert looked at him. “What was that about?”

Aaron sighed, making sure she was settled back with Pearl and Vanessa before speaking. “She told me a while ago that her husband had an affair with a guy back in the sixties. She reported the guy and he went to prison for it; you know, for buggery and that. Her husband told her he’d killed himself; turned out he hadn’t, but she felt guilty about it for years.”

“So now she’s a faghag?”

Aaron snorted. “That’s what I said.” Not those exact words, but close enough.

“What’s it got to do with you?”

“I guess I reminded her of it all. She visited me in prison when I was on remand last year. She thought that, uh, that I was in love with Adam.” He mumbled the last part, wondering why he was even admitting it.

Robert’s eyebrows went high. “You and Adam?”

“I tried to kiss him once, when I was still confused about everything. You know what it’s like, you finally get close to someone and it all gets twisted up in your head.” He twisted his fingers together in his lap. “He’s straight as an arrow.”

Robert nodded slowly. “Were you in love him?”

Aaron forced himself not to fidget. Edna had asked him much the same. Mates didn’t really take the rap for their mates’ crimes, did they? Ed had broached it once and Aaron had shrugged it off then, too. “No. Just as mates. Like I said, I was confused, you know what it’s like.”

“Yeah,” Robert said, and looked at the table for a second. “All right,”

They spent a couple of hours in the café, wiling away the time until Aaron had to go to the garage and show some willing. They didn’t talk any more about Edna, or Adam, and Robert seemed okay about it all. It was hard to tell what Robert thought about things sometimes, though.

There was little else for him to do with no job and no car, so he took Aaron’s keys and went back to the pub when Aaron went over to the garage. Aaron worried about leaving him alone, but Robert insisted he’d be fine – ‘telly and beer on tap, what’s not to love?’ were his exact words.

Dan stared when Aaron came in and grabbed a pair of overalls from the office.

“All right?” Dan asked carefully as he zipped them up over his t-shirt and jeans.

“Yeah, you all right?”

“Yeah…” Dan said, and cleared his throat. “I was, er, outside yesterday when…”

“A lot of people were,” Aaron agreed, and nodded to the car. “So, this engine.”

Dan bobbed his head quickly. “Right, yeah.”

Good old Dan, he didn’t push it after that and Aaron worked without being hassled for over an hour, knocking out a couple of jobs, before Cain stomped in and clipped him around the ear.

“Oi!” Aaron said, batting him away.

“Office,” Cain said, and went in without a backward glance. 

Aaron downed tools with a sigh and followed. “Before you start--”

“Your mum’s worried,” Cain said, and gestured for Aaron to close the door, which he did. “Got in a right tizzy last night.”

“Right, well, there’s no need.”

Cain raised his eyebrows. “Isn’t there? You know what kind of bloke he is?”

“I know you and him set fire to Butler’s once.”

That threw Cain for a second. He narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. “He told you that?”

“Yeah, he’s told me everything.”

“And he’s suddenly gay now?” 

“He’s--” He took a breath. “He’s bisexual, but don’t worry, he doesn’t fancy you.”

Cain grimaced and shook his head. “He’s trouble.”

“So am I,” Aaron said, “so are you and half the people in this village.”

“Right,” Cain said, looking at Aaron like he wanted to throttle him. “I’ve said my piece. Get back to work.”

He worked through until five, keeping his head down and ignoring the rubberneckers passing the garage. He went through the pub to get to the back, getting more looks and a triumphant, ‘I fucking knew it!’ from Ross. Robert was slouched down on the settee, scowling at his phone when Aaron escaped the questions his mum peppered him with.

“More network texts?” he asked.

Robert jerked a little and snapped the phone shut. “Yeah,” he said. “How was work?”

“Awkward. Cain tried to give me a talking to.”

“Oh yeah?” Robert said, though he sounded distant and not that interested.

“Yeah, told him where to get off, though. Let’s go through and get Marlon to make us something for tea.”

Robert grimaced, twisting around to face Aaron. “There’s food in the fridge, isn’t there?”

“Come on, you have to go out there sometime.”

Robert still looked pained, but hauled himself up and followed Aaron. Aaron asked Marlon for a couple of pies and had to put up with a long complaint about what a world it would be if everyone bypassed the ordering process and went straight to the chef. Mayhem, it would be, apparently.

They took a table in the corner, furthest from the bogs, and nursed their beers while they waited on the food. Robert hunched forward, his back to the doors, his shoulders slightly raised. He looked miserable, frankly.

“Look,” Aaron said, “if you really don’t want to be here, we can--” He stopped, looking up as he caught sight of Andy approaching. “Shit.”

Robert looked around, then sighed heavily and went back to his beer. “Typical,” he muttered.

“Can I sit?” Andy asked, coming to stop beside Robert’s shoulder.

“I don’t know,” Robert said snottily. “Can you?”

Andy sighed and Aaron gestured to the empty chair. He sat down and looked at Robert, though Robert kept his eyes on his glass. “We haven’t talked since the ring,” Andy said.

“Yep,” Robert said.

“I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t think you’d--”

“You didn’t think _at all_ ,” Robert cut in.

Andy tipped his chin up. “Yeah,” he allowed. He paused for a bit and the murmur of the pub washed over them. Aaron drank his beer and wished Marlon would bring the pies out quicker. Robert was pouting slightly and Aaron wondered if that was the end of that, but at length Andy took a deep breath and continued. “I wish you’d told me that… you know. Things might have been different.”

Robert narrowed his eyes. “What does that mean?”

“Things might’ve been better between us if I’d known.”

“What, you think me being a self-hating gay would explain everything?”

Andy glanced at Aaron, a floundering look in his eyes. Aaron tipped his head, not much interested in giving him any help.

“Well… if you hadn’t made yourself--”

“I’m bi,” Robert said over Andy’s tentative words. “Fuck anyone, me. I didn’t make myself do anything. If anything, I stopped myself from doing things.”

Andy nodded slowly. “All right. That’s just as bad, though, isn’t it? I mean, for you.”

Aaron watched Robert’s face, the subtle widening of his eyes, the pinking of his cheeks. He didn’t speak, his lips twitching slightly. 

“If I’d known, maybe we would have been closer,” Andy added.

Robert blinked once and opened his mouth. “You still would’ve lit that fire, though,” he said softly, but it packed a punch. 

Andy looked down, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. Marlon came out with their pies, but Aaron got up before he could reach them.

“Thanks,” he said, taking the plates. “We’re gonna eat in the back.”

Marlon muttered irritably as he stomped away again and Robert hopped up with a look of relief on his face.

“Rob,” Andy said.

Robert didn’t give him a chance to talk again, striding ahead of Aaron.

“Give it some time,” Aaron said, and followed Robert.

-

They ate in silence, staring at fucking _Time Team_ on the telly, until Aaron was finished and couldn’t take it any more.

“Robert,” he said.

Robert sighed heavily and clanked his fork against the plate. “It wasn’t a good day today,” he said. “You were right.”

“Wish I hadn’t been.”

“Yeah, me too,” Robert said, and flashed a half-hearted smile.

“How you doing with it?”

“I--” He shook his head. “It’s humiliating. This is everything I didn’t want. I never wanted anyone to know. And if they knew…” He took a deep breath, but didn’t continue.

Aaron felt anxiety grow in his chest. He had to remind himself how he felt when he came out. It was embarrassing, for everyone to see you like that, exposed, and Robert couldn’t have done it much more dramatically. “Yeah, I remember how that feels. Do you wish--”

“You already asked me that,” Robert pointed out. “My answer’s the same. This sucks, but I’ll be okay.”

“Okay,” Aaron said, and leant in, kissing him soundly. They stayed like that for a few minutes, kissing each other with a building hunger that had nothing to do with the remnants of the pies balanced on their knees. The door creaked open and Aaron pulled away reluctantly, looking over Robert’s shoulder at his mum, standing there with a face on her. Robert cleared his throat. 

“I’m gonna have a shower,” he said, and moved the plate to the coffee table. He kissed Aaron again, chastely on the side of his head, and walked past Mum and out the door.

Aaron gathered up the plates and stood, headed for the kitchen.

“Love,” Mum said, “can we talk?”

He sighed and dropped the plates on the counter. He’d done a lot more talking today than he was altogether comfortable with. “What?”

Mum raised an unimpressed eyebrow. “You hardly gave me a chance to speak yesterday, the two of you rushing off to bed so early.”

By design, that was. “Uh huh.”

“You really think you know him?”

“Better than you do.”

“What about him and Tracy?”

Aaron couldn’t help but laugh. “Tracy? There’s no him and Tracy.”

“So, why was he being so weird with her that day in the pub?”

“She could have rumbled him. They knew each other from Manchester, not London. He didn’t want all that coming out. He thinks she’s an idiot.” Not a word of that was a lie, which made it all the easier to say.

She pulled a face. “Charming,” she said, as if all the Dingles aside from Sam wouldn’t say the same. “But you already knew.”

“I knew everything.”

“Right,” she said, and her gaze dropped a bit, down to his stomach. He moved his hands reflexively, always trying to protect his scars, deflect attention. “And he’s seen them, has he?”

“Pretty hard for him not to, when we’re...”

“Okay, okay!” she said quickly, raising a hand with a disgusted look on her face. He snorted. “You trust him with that?”

He looked back at her steadily and nodded. “Yeah,” he said, a funny feeling spreading out in his chest.

“And Jackson? Does Robert know about him?”

“Not-- not yet,” he said, his voice dropping to a mutter. He’d shut Jackson out of his mind in the months he’d spent with Robert in Manchester, more so than when he’d been with Ed. Jackson was a different life, a different Aaron, not an Aaron who spent long evenings in fancy hotels with a man lavishing attention on him. Now that they were back here, the distinction was blurred, but he hadn’t wanted to damage the delicate balance of this new thing between them and, truthfully, he was a little scared of what Robert would say. By rights, he couldn’t say much at all about it, considering his past, but Aaron held it close to his chest, something fragile and special in the worst way possible.

Mum sighed. He must have said more with his expression than he meant to, because she didn’t push. “All right,” she said, and squeezed his arm. “I won’t hassle you. Not too much, any road.”

That was probably the best he could expect, so he nodded and excused himself upstairs.

-

He tried to keep things as normal as possible, going about the village, sometimes with Robert, mostly without, going to work, dodging conversations with the local busybodies. Paddy invited him into the vet’s after a day or so, for a ‘cup of tea’, and stammered through a painfully awkward conversation.

“You’re sure that, er, that he’s the type of bloke that you want…”

“Pads, I’m sure.”

Paddy didn’t look very convinced. “Right, well--”

“Sometimes you just have to take a chance on someone, eh?” Aaron added.

Paddy blinked down at his tea, then smiled and nodded. “Yeah.”

Robert didn’t seem to be taking to it all very well, bouncing between edgy and distant and overly affectionate, licking stripes down Aaron’s chest at night, groping him in the kitchen when the others weren’t looking. It wasn’t as if Aaron minded the latter, but it didn’t seem like a good long term plan.

He dragged Robert out to the front to have a drink with him and Adam in the middle of the week. Adam was in high spirits, having secured the clapped out Mini, only a week until he got his tag off. He was still having some wobbles about whether to propose or not, but they were arranging a party for Vic anyway, next Friday, sure to be a real headbanger.

“What are you getting her?” Robert asked. He couldn’t have sounded less interested if he tried, but at least he _was_ trying.

“A Mini,” Adam said proudly.

“A car?” Robert repeated. Aaron knew Robert basically couldn’t afford to get her anything, so it must have stung.

“You haven’t seen it yet,” Aaron said, “I wouldn’t go as far as to call it a ‘car’.”

Adam grinned and thumped the table. “But with my mechanic-extraordinaire here, how can I go wrong?”

“I don’t think I agreed to that,” Aaron said with a laugh.

Robert didn’t say much else after that, mostly sulking into his pint. Adam elbowed Aaron a couple of times and shot glances at Robert, but Aaron waved it off. Just being out here was a miracle, especially when Katie came in and stood at the bar, chatting with Mum for a while. She looked their way a couple of times before Robert lifted his head and said, in a loud, obnoxious voice,

“Something you want to say, Katherine?”

She rolled her eyes and stepped back from her conversation, picking up her drink. “Nothing that’s not already been said by everyone else.”

“You never were that original. Going from one brother to the other and back again, not much imagination, eh?”

Aaron sighed, a sinking feeling coming over him. He’d worked out by now that there was nothing to be done when Robert got like this, just had to ride it out, but it didn’t make it any less embarrassing to be caught in the middle of.

“And you had to date a kid to find someone who’ll put up with you.”

Aaron frowned at her – was that really necessary?

“All right, chill out, Katie,” Adam said, “we’re just having a quiet drink here.”

She hummed and sipped her drink. “Funny how you never seemed into blokes before. Unless you were doing Marc behind the bike sheds when we weren’t looking.”

Robert’s jaw tensed, his mouth twisting. “Maybe you turned me.” He said it mildly, but Aaron could tell by the look on his face that her comments had landed exactly how she’d wanted. He drew himself up straighter and added, “Tell you what, Marc would’ve been a sight more fun than being with you. A block of ice would’ve been better than getting into bed with a frigid bi--”

Aaron could see what was going to happen a second before it did and so could Robert, but he reacted a moment sooner and Katie’s glass of vodka and orange missed its target and hit Aaron full in the face. That put paid to any further argument, Katie standing there with her mouth open; there was a burst of laughter somewhere else in the pub. Robert turned and looked at him, wide-eyed.

“Sorry,” he said, and started dabbing Aaron’s face with a napkin.

Aaron batted him away. “What did you think was going to happen when you ducked?”

Robert shrugged, though there was a smile playing on his lips. “It’s just instinct.”

“You get a lot of drinks thrown at you?”

“It’s been known to happen,” Robert said. He was laughing now and Aaron gave him a shove, pushing him out of the booth.

“Let’s finish this in the back,” he said, picking up his pint. Robert and Adam followed.

“Sorry, Aaron, I didn’t mean to--” Katie said as they passed. His mum was pulling her sympathetic face and there was still laughter coming from some of the tables. What an end to his day.

“Put me in the middle?” He ran his hand over his soaked hair. “Guess it just worked out that way. At least you were only mildly homophobic.”

Robert looked pretty pleased by the turn of events as they went through. Aaron stopped him, letting Adam go ahead and get settled in. “Don’t look too pleased with yourself, this wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t wound her up.”

“Now it’s my fault? She’s the one who was glaring daggers at me!”

“Everyone glares at you,” Aaron said, and Robert sighed and shook his head.

“Not everyone,” he said, and pressed into him, kissing him soundly. They stayed like that for a few minute, stumbling around near the cellar door, until Aaron finally pulled back, though Robert’s arm was still around his waist.

“I’m going up for a shower,” he called through to Adam, and got a laugh in return.

“All right,” he replied, “I’ll see yous two in a bit, then.”

-

Robert started job-hunting the next day, after a few too many pointed comments from Doug about him eating the food Diane had bought. Diane always shushed him and told Robert he was free to take whatever he needed, but Aaron could tell from the tense look on his face that he didn’t appreciate being spoken to like that. Who would?

He wasn’t having much luck so far finding things he could apply for, though, and stayed hunched over job sites for hours, muttering to himself. 

Which was how Aaron found him on Sunday morning, already in the living room when Aaron woke up. He came downstairs doing his teeth and Robert was on the settee, his hair sticking up at the front.

“Why’re you down here?” he asked around a mouthful of toothpaste. He went to the sink and spat, then drifted over.

“Wifi keeps dropping out upstairs,” Robert said, “you’ve got a shitty connection here.”

“Yeah, it’s always like that,” Aaron said, and leant forward across the back of the couch. “Looking at jobs again?” He sprayed a little toothpaste as he spoke and grimaced, reaching out and wiping the flecks away with his thumb. “Sorry.”

“‘sall right,” Robert murmured. “Look at this job, fucking entry level pencil pusher at some poxy marketing firm in Hotten and they want two years’ experience, minimum. Christ, it’s hardly like Hotten is the capital of the north. And before, I was trying to fill out some bloody online application and I had to give an explanation for every gap in my work history. What am I meant to say I’ve been doing for the last five years?”

“Er… freelance… customer service?” Aaron said, taking his toothbrush out of his mouth.

Robert waved his hand back and smacked Aaron on the arm. “Shut up,” he said with a laugh.

Aaron nudged his shoulder. “Give us a look at your CV.”

Robert sighed and clicked over to his CV, letting Aaron read over his shoulder. There were lots of bullet points and big words, and a job with a property developer that he allegedly left in November 2013. Aaron raised his eyebrows at that, and at the 2:1 degree in Business Administration from the University of Leeds.

“I know,” Robert said, “but I’ve got to give them something to work with.”

“What if you really did do a course? I got a BTEC in vehicle mechanics from Hotten College, pretty all right place.”

“Did it help you get a job?”

“Helped in France, I think. I got hired at this really flash place that catered to British expats. We had special uniforms and everything, looked like those tight suits Formula One drivers wear.”

“Bet you looked good in those.”

Aaron grinned. “I got pictures somewhere.”

Robert groaned. “Stop, you’re turning me on.”

Aaron laughed, turning to sit side on on the back of the settee, one leg hitched up along the long end of it.

“What would I do, though?” Robert continued. “My A-levels with a bunch of kids?”

“They probably do foundation courses in Business Management,” he said.

“Maybe I should just sign on,” Robert muttered, and dropped his head back against Aaron’s thigh. Aaron settled his fingers in his hair and Robert closed his eyes. This was getting to be a habit.

The far door opened and Vic walked in, her face registering surprise. “Oh!” she said, then grinned. “Aw, sorry to interrupt.”

Aaron slid his fingers down to rest on Robert’s neck, a little embarrassed for her to see them like this. Robert opened his eyes, but didn’t lift his head, just turned it to the side to look at her.

“What’s up?”

She was still grinning warmly when she said, “I was looking for Chas, wanted to talk to her about my shifts.”

“She’s up in Hotten today,” Robert said. Aaron frowned; he hadn’t known that. “Diane’s about, though, think she’s upstairs.”

“All right, I’ll ask her,” she said, and looked at them for another long moment. “You two are really cute together, you know. I didn’t think you had it in you.”

“Hey,” Robert said.

“Both of you,” she amended. “You’re both pretty difficult to get along with, though, suppose it makes sense.”

It was Aaron’s turn to say ‘hey!’ this time, but she hurried off up the stairs in search for Diane. Robert laughed a little, then sobered, looking back at his laptop. Aaron slipped his fingers back in his hair.

“We’ll sort it,” he promised.

-

Aaron had a plan, of sorts. He finished doing his teeth and got dressed, told Robert he had some errands to run and slipped out at ten. His first stop was Debbie’s. Pete answered, still in his pyjamas, and let him in before shuffling back to the settee with Sarah and Jack. Debbie was in the kitchen making a cup of tea and eyed him suspiciously when he came through the door.

“All right, Debs?” he said.

She arched an eyebrow. “What do you want?”

“How do you know I want anything?”

“You’re out of the house before one on a Sunday, coming in here with that face on you...” She pointed at him and pursed her lips. “You want more time off to be with your new… boyfriend?”

“No, I don’t want any time off.” He cleared his throat. “Er, you know how Robert used to work at the garage?”

“No,” she said, and from her tone Aaron knew that she didn’t mean no, she didn’t know. “Don’t even think about it.”

“You’re always complaining that we have too much work on, he could help…”

“I’d let the garage go under before I’d let him on the premises. And don’t even think of going to Dad, he won’t be as nice about it as me.”

“Fine,” he said, and shoved his hands in his pockets. “See you later, then.”

She smirked as he shuffled out, Pete calling, ‘sorry, mate’ as he left. He went to café to get a coffee, Bob chatting away cheerfully as he made it, only a few people in at this time on a Sunday morning.

“You don’t have any shifts going, do you?” he asked as he took the coffee and handed over the pound twenty.

Bob’s eyebrows went up. “For you?”

“Nah, for Robert.”

“Oh,” Bob said, and grinned. “No, sorry. Although Bob and Rob at the counter would be funny, wouldn’t it?”

“So…?”

Bob look thoughtful for a moment, then shook himself. “I can’t hire someone just for the joke material, Brenda’d have my head. Try at the Grange, maybe? I know Val’s fond of him.”

“Yeah, I will, thanks.”

Val didn’t have any work going, or at least Eric wouldn’t let her hire anyone else. Her spats with Finn and Tracy had been sorted, she said, and the two of them was all they needed. She wished him luck and winked at him on his way out.

He didn’t think Robert would appreciate sweeping hair for Bernice or planning weddings with Megan and Leyla. There was farm work – Andy probably felt guilty enough to take him on, though Aaron was sure he wouldn’t be able to pay much, and Moira always needed help, but he couldn’t really imagine Robert labouring and he knew he’d hate it. He thought briefly about Homes James, but thought it would be too weird for Robert to work with Jimmy after all that with Max. He kept on pondering as he went into and came out of David’s without any luck. He ran into Jai in the street and asked about office work. Jai asked what qualifications Robert had.

“Er, he’s good with computers?” Robert could type with both hands at the same time, so he assumed that was the case. “Spreadsheets and that?”

Jai looked at him like he was an idiot and said he’d keep Robert in mind. Another no, then. Job hunting really was shit, Aaron was glad for a healthy amount of nepotism at the garage. He looked back at the pub, draining the last of his coffee and tossing it in the nearest bin. Maybe closer to home was the way to go.

“Hey, pet,” Diane said when he came back in. His whole little walkabout had only taken about forty minutes.

“Robert still in the back?”

Diane nodded. “Toiling away over that thing, just like when he was a teenager. All I’ve heard all morning is angry muttering.”

“Yeah.” He leant against the bar and she raised her eyebrows in question. “What if Rob worked here?”

“Doing bar work?”

“Yeah, he was a bartender in Spain.”

“He was?” she asked, and Aaron nodded. “Funnily enough, Alicia called in sick today. It’d only be part time, mind. Your mum’ll hit the roof, of course.”

He shrugged. “You’ve got as much right to hire people as she does.”

“Mmhm,” Diane murmured, raising her eyebrows. “Nice job buttering me up. Go on, go ask him if he wants to do a trial shift, then.”

Robert looked more confused than anything. “A trial shift?” he repeated, like it was a foreign concept.

“Yeah, you know,” Aaron said, feeling suddenly awkward. He curled his fingers into his sleeves and shifted on the spot. “Show her you can pull pints, bit of chat with the punters. Part time, but it’s a job, and she doesn’t need a CV.”

“Right,” Robert said, and glanced back at his laptop. Aaron could make out the words ‘Hotten College’ along the top of the screen. A funny rush went through him at the thought that Robert had actually taken his advice. Robert closed the lid and stood. “Better put my good clothes on, then.”

He was a natural at it, didn’t have any trouble on the taps or the till. Some of the regulars gave him funny looks and Aaron could tell he was holding his tongue when Nicola came in with a bunch of sarky comments, but he smiled through it. And he flirted, the easy charm that had drawn Aaron to him back in full force. It was hard to watch that smile slide off his face as soon as he turned away, only to reappear when he turned back, like a light switch being flipped every couple of minutes. Was that how it was for Robert when they first met, that he could turn it on and off like that? Aaron didn’t think that was the case now, but it still made him feel a little sick.

“Finally, we’ve got a bit eye candy for the ladies,” Kerry said in that foghorn voice of hers when her and Bernice came in for lunch. 

“You can’t say that,” Bernice whispered loudly.

“Because he’s bisexual?” Kerry asked. Robert looked sidelong at Aaron as Bernice mumbled something about him being her stepbrother. “Aye, I’m no bigot, man.”

“I appreciate the support,” Robert said smoothly. “But despite the ‘bi’, I only do one at a time. Try again later.” He winked and Kerry laughed, her eyes bright. He was only bullshitting, but Aaron still couldn’t look at him for a while. He swallowed it down as best he could.

Around two Bob came in and grinned conspiratorially when he saw Robert.

“Ah, he got you a job, then?” he asked, nodding to Aaron at the end of the bar. 

Robert looked around at Aaron with a frown, then back at Bob. “Looks that way… What’ll it be?”

Bob held up a tenner. “Ten pounds in pounds and fifties, if you’ve got ‘em. We’re out of change at the caf.”

Aaron went back and forth from the bar for the rest of the afternoon, returning from the living room at his mum’s cry of, ‘what the hell is he doing behind my bar?’ when she came back from her day in Hotten. Diane hurried her away and tried to reason with her, as if his mum ever listened to reason. She prophesied again that it would all end in tears and excused herself to the bathroom for a nice long soak. 

Robert worked until six, complaining about being on his feet for so long, and Aaron whacked on some ready meals for tea. Robert didn’t have much else to say for the evening, and spent it watching the telly.

“You all right?” Aaron asked when Robert came up to bed.

Robert shrugged, unbuttoning his shirt. He still had very faint bruises on his chest. “I’m fine.”

“Wanna tell your face that?”

Robert grabbed a t-shirt off the end of the bed and tugged it on, then unbuckled his belt and went around the bed to get his pyjama bottoms from the dresser. Aaron took a moment to admire his bare arse as he quickly changed, before Robert replied. 

“I didn’t know you were my agent now,” he said.

“You what?”

Robert came back and sat down on the other side of the bed. “You, going around the village, hawking me for a job.”

“I didn’t…”

“Val was in,” Robert said, a slight smile on his face. “And Debbie and the bloke from the sweet factory.”

“Right. Well, you wanted a job, didn’t you?”

“Bit embarrassing for my boyfriend to have to go around begging people to employ me, though,” Robert said. Aaron flushed at the word ‘boyfriend’ coming from Robert.

“I just didn’t want you to have to go look for work in Manchester or summat.”

“Manchester?” Robert frowned and looked closer at Aaron, who had to fight the desire to get up and pretend he needed to piss. “That was never on the cards. Aaron, I’m not going anywhere.”

Aaron curled his fingers loosely into his palm. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. Hey.” He reached out and wrapped his hand around the back of Aaron’s neck. “You’ve got nothing to worry about, all right? You’re stuck with me now.”

“All right,” Aaron agreed, and leant in for a kiss.

When they parted, Robert sat back against the headboard and sighed. “Now I’ve got an income, I guess I should splurge on a present for Vic, her birthday’s only a few days away.”

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “About that…”

-

Adam was all set to go ahead with the proposal, his tag finally off and Andy having given his blessing. His good mood waned a bit when he blabbed it all in front of Robert the night before the party.

“Sexist,” Robert said. “And why didn’t you ask me? What if I said I don’t want my sister marrying some jailbird farmer?”

Adam froze with his pint halfway to his mouth. “Are you saying that?”

“Yeah, actually, I am,” Robert said, and looked between the two of them. Aaron knew he was going to get it in the neck about hiding Adam’s plans. “But I guess that doesn’t matter, since I’m not the one who has to marry you.”

Adam grinned. “Nice one, mate, you had me going there for a minute.”

Robert gave them both a dark look and returned to his pint.

-

They started early the next day, setting up the party. It wasn’t a surprise, but Vic was still shooed away until it was ready and Robert hurried around all morning setting it up with Mum and Diane. Aaron had to put a few hours in at the garage and came back to a fully decorated pub with garlands, lights, and trays of cupcakes.

Aaron set himself up at the end of the bar by the cupcakes to watch it all play out. Robert was nonchalantly polishing glasses when the two of them came back in from looking at the car and Adam grinned his way through the proposal. Robert drifted over to Aaron and leant against the bar, a gentle smile on his face.

There was a tense couple of seconds where Aaron could swear she was about to knock him back, but then they were hugging and kissing.

“A rust bucket and an old ring’s not much to be happy over,” Robert said in a low voice, but he was still smiling.

Aaron nudged his elbow. “Give us a kiss,” he said, the thought coming to him from nowhere.

Robert looked back at him, frowning a little, but still darted in and pressed a quick kiss to Aaron’s lips. He pulled away before Aaron could kiss back and winked as he nodded to Adam and Vic. “Better congratulate the happy couple, eh?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Aaron, if only you knew how much more dramatic Robert's coming out could have been.


	12. Chapter 12

Living and working in the pub was a strange experience, to say the least. The place was a microcosm of the village, felt like the centre of the universe sometimes, and Robert hardly needed to step foot outside of it for anything. He’d visited Aaron at the garage a few times, but he was less than welcome there by the other Dingles. Truth be told, he hadn’t been truly welcomed by anyone with the last name Dingle, though Sam was friendly as ever – had he even noticed anything had changed? – and Zak huffed his way through ordering a pint awkwardly.

“Aaron’s a good lad,” he had said, dropping his voice a pitch as he paid up. “Doesn’t deserve to be messed about.”

Lisa had tutted and shooed Zak away with an apologetic smile. So maybe she was okay too. He’d never had any quarrel with her and Zak certainly wasn’t the man he’d once been. Robert remembered him as a bruiser, drinking heavily, always with an eye to the next con, not this old man full of hot air. Came to them all, in the end, he guessed, that fall from grace.

He’d started getting used to being up in the morning, though he still couldn’t drop off before midnight. This place was a world away from the hot lights of nightclubs, dancing until dawn with his shirt stuck to his back, strobe lighting doing its best to mimic an epileptic fit. The absolute silence of the nights here was in stark contrast to the hum of traffic in Manchester, and the nicest (and only) accommodation the village had to offer was the Grange, three star at best, not the beautiful hotels of the city, no room service, no private butler.

He wasn’t sure he missed any of it.

Vic’s early birthday had gone a treat, but Chas and the others still wanted to do something on the day. Marlon baked yet another cake and decorated it as a surprise. That was fine, except Andy and Katie were in on it too and Chas was loving it.

“It’s her birthday,” she said, hardly able to contain her glee. “Don’t make it about you.”

In the end, it didn’t make much odds, since they all walked in on her knocking Adam back. Adam stormed out and Andy took up the mantle of doting big brother; Robert was shooed back to the bar to water the regulars.

“Everything all right?” Nicola asked in what might laughingly be called her ‘innocent’ voice when she approached the bar a few minutes later. “I saw Adam outside, didn’t look happy.”

“I’m sure whatever it is, it’s none of your business,” Robert said, and laid his hands on the bar. “What’ll it be?”

He didn’t get to see Vic again until after his shift, by which point Andy and Katie had taken her home. Aaron was back from work and already up on the news. Adam had sequestered himself up at Butler’s, didn’t want to talk to anyone.

“It’s rough,” he said, “her taking it back like that.”

Robert shrugged. “I’m going over to see her, back in a bit.”

It was growing dark as he crossed over the street, dodging Pearl’s, ‘oh, Robert, did I hear right that--’ with a sharp couple of words. He paused for a moment at Vic’s door, hoping that Andy wouldn’t be on the other side, then knocked.

She answered wrapped up in a fluffy dressing gown, her hair wet from the shower, face free of make up.

“Hey,” he murmured, glancing down the hallway.

“Don’t worry,” she said, and sniffed. “They’ve gone home.”

He didn’t argue. “How you feeling?”

“Well, I’ve been better,” she said, an edge to her voice that made him smile. She had a spark to her, he was finding, that he thought maybe came from him. She had a sharp tongue and a temper that wasn’t Andy’s and wasn’t Dad’s – his anger ran more to the emotionally devastating. Perhaps it was Mum’s, but sometimes Robert found it hard to remember her, precious memories slipping away from him as he grew older. He remembered that she was kind to him, that she saw something in him that no one else did, that she made him feel safe; but the day to day things, the way she spoke, whether she’d preferred baths or showers – he didn’t know any more.

Still, he saw a little of himself in Vic and it made him proud.

He gave her a hug and she let him in, moving to the kitchen to make him a cup of tea. He said he could do it, but she said she needed the distraction.

“He’s not answering my calls,” she said with a sigh when they were back on her couch.

“He’s licking his wounds.”

She pursed her lips. “I shouldn’t have strung him along like that.”

“Well, he did pretty much force you into saying yes, proposing in front of everyone.”

“He didn’t mean to, he thought it was romantic.”

“Yeah, well, he should have left off the rom-coms for a while and used his head.” He took a sip of the tea as Vic scowled a little. She was still defending him, so whatever the bust up was, it couldn’t have been that bad. “So, what changed your mind?”

She shrugged. “We’re just… too young, you know?”

“You are,” he agreed. “What did Andy say?”

“He asked me if that was the only reason,” she said, “which I guess it is.”

As if being young wasn’t reason enough. Andy might have the narrowest of desires, but he should have been able to step outside of his little life to see that there was something better for Vic, something bigger. Although it had hurt at the time, Robert counted his blessings everyday that him and Katie hadn’t ended up getting married. He knew that he thought he wanted it at the time, but giving in to Sadie King’s seduction had been a sign – he was too young, had too much else to do with his life than stay in the village and raise sprogs. The fact that he’d monumentally fucked up all that potential didn’t make it any less true.

“But…” she continued. “There’s just so much I haven’t done. I mean, look at you, you’ve been all over the place, gone to all those countries, lived in London. I’d like to live in London. Not forever, just a little while.”

All those holidays she was recalling were either entirely on credit or made up wholesale, unfortunately. “Yeah, no one could live in London forever.” Her smile in response was a little watery. He rubbed her shoulder. “If he’s got any brains at all, he’ll understand once he cools off. If he doesn’t, he’s not worth the grief.”

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t start again, I know you don’t like him.”

“You _could_ do better,” he said, and her expression darkened, just a little. “But I’m your big brother, I’m supposed to think that.”

She pursed her lips. “Maybe,” she allowed, then turned to him with a smile. “Anyway, how are you and Aaron getting on?”

It was all smoothed over the next day, talk of engagement on hold, Adam moving out from under his mum and into Vic’s house, Vic whistling in the kitchen as she whipped up plates of fish and chips. Diane had the bright idea of having a roast for Easter Sunday, a big, horrific family get-together, and Adam was invited. 

Robert worked an afternoon shift and stole a couple of plates of leftovers from the kitchen for tea, expecting that Aaron would be home at five. At five thirty, he got a curt message about going out to a breakdown and reheated the meal in the microwave.

“You’ve got a face on you,” Chas said, breezing into the kitchen when he was at the table, slowly chewing the mushy chips, his eyes on some gameshow on the telly. The grease from the fish had solidified in places to make the meal an altogether unpleasant experience. He supposed he deserved that for pinching it out from under Vic.

“I’m fine,” he said, eyeing James as he stomped in after her, still in his work boots.

“Where’s Aaron?”

“Call out.”

“Missing him already?” James said. “Hardly see you two apart.”

Robert barely resisted rolling his eyes. James was a prick at the best of times, moaning about how long Robert took in the shower in the mornings. His head would probably pop off if he knew that Robert spent the majority of that time on his knees with Aaron’s hands in his hair, not doing much shampooing at all. And just this morning, he’d been mouthing off about the engagement, according to Vic, as if he had any right.

“I’m just having something to eat, is that a crime?”

“Wasn’t trying to wind you up, mate,” James said, coming over all innocent as Chas made a cup of tea. 

Robert would have responded, but his phone buzzed in his pocket. He’d gone out and got a cheap smartphone now, to satisfy some of his cravings for the better life, and hoped for another message from Aaron to save him from this conversation, but it was only from Chrissie.

 _I’m starting to worry about you, Robert. Your agency say you’ve disappeared, please get back to me,_ the message on the lock screen read.

He sighed and turned the phone off again. He got a message from her a few times a week, vacillating between worried and angry. He guessed that was fair enough, but starting a dialogue with her now would only tempt him. He was making a paltry hundred and thirty quid a week – the only upside of that being that he wouldn’t need to pay any tax on his pathetic earnings if he stayed on this track, as if he’d been paying any taxes for the last five years. Getting a nice lump sum in cash from Chrissie was hard to resist, but there was no way to hide going up to Manchester from Aaron, and frankly, he didn’t want to. This was the first time he’d put all his cards on table, the total, unvarnished truth. He’d got close with Connor, but Connor was flippant about it, didn’t care about Robert’s past, rolled his eyes when he complained about Andy or Diane. They had fun together, but nothing more.

“Something important?” Chas asked, a glint in her eye.

He got up, scraped the congealed remains of tea into the bin, and stuck the plate in the dishwasher. “I’m having a shower.”

“Don’t use all the hot water again,” James called.

Aaron came home close to nine and went straight to the bathroom, lingering in there for close to half an hour. Robert had a comment about which of them was really spending too long in the shower on his tongue, but Aaron looked harassed when he came back down and Robert decided to shut it.

“There’s some leftover fish and chips,” Robert said over his shoulder, “doesn’t reheat well, though.”

“I had a sandwich on the road,” Aaron replied and went to the fridge, emerging with a can of beer. “What’re you watching?”

“Documentary about KFC.”

“Christ,” Aaron muttered, and Robert heard the hiss of the tab being pulled back before Aaron joined him on the couch. He took a long drink from the can and sighed. “Turn over to _Dave_ or something.”

“So we can watch a million repeats of _Have I Got News For You_?”

Aaron huffed and took another drink. Robert muted the telly and turned to him.

“You okay?”

“Fine,” Aaron muttered. “Just a big job, hauled someone back from Leeds, got earache about scratching the paintwork. Prick.”

“That’s all?”

“Yeah,” Aaron said softly, and frowned at the screen. Robert turned it off altogether.

“Wanna go up?” he asked, raising his eyebrows. He was used to Aaron being mardy by now, but he could usually sort it fairly easily. 

“Maybe later, let me have my can first,” Aaron replied, and turned the TV back on, setting about flipping through the channels. Robert stared at him for a moment, then slumped down into the cushions, resigned to his fate of watching the same comedians making the same jokes on the same shows for the rest of the evening.

-

Aaron slipped off early the next morning to the garage, while Robert was still struggling to wake up. He didn’t have any shifts, or anything else to do with his time, so he went back to sleep and didn’t get up until gone twelve. Aaron came home sweaty and stroppy in the early evening, so it was another night of crap telly and frozen pizza.

It was Good Friday the next day, but the pub was still open and he had a morning shift, which mostly meant serving inveterate alcoholics and breakfast to people who didn’t enjoy Bob’s jokes. Aaron had to go into work, too, he said, even though Robert knew the garage was closed for the long weekend. He didn’t get much of a coherent answer when he asked about it.

There were a few tourists in, poring over cheerfully illustrated maps and asking him directions to the nearest museums and landmarks. Katie came in just before midday and pointedly asked Alicia for service, while he chatted to a couple of very earnest Americans. 

“Just ignore her,” Alicia said quietly, when he came back to the taps to get more lemonades for the tourists. “It’s the only thing you can do.”

He stared at the back of Katie’s head and sighed. Alicia was speaking from experience, he guessed; there was some kind of to-do going on between her, Priya, and David, though he didn’t know exactly what and he didn’t really want to know. David was a good looking man, but Robert didn’t think there was much else about him that should inspire so much trouble between the two women.

Aaron stomped back in at one and plonked himself down at the bar.

“What are you doing here?” Robert asked as he pulled him a pint – it looked like he was in that kind of mood.

“I live here,” Aaron grunted.

“Don’t work here, though,” Robert said with a smile that wasn’t returned. He put the pint down in front of Aaron, who downed it quickly. “Did something happen? Cain kick off?”

“Everything’s fine,” Aaron muttered.

Robert opened his mouth to argue the obvious point, but Victoria came in before he could say anything and Aaron curled in on himself a bit.

“Hiya,” she said, and patted Aaron on the back. “Cheer up, least you’re not working on a bank holiday.”

“He was, you going back in?” 

Aaron only shook his head in reply and Robert bit back a sigh. He’d been mardy like this for days now.

“I’m off in a couple hours, maybe we can go do something, away from the village?”

He shrugged. “Yeah, maybe.”

“Don’t forget you’re coming round tonight for some big video game showdown with Adam,” Victoria said.

Robert turned to her as she fussed with the collar of her uniform. “And I’m not invited?” 

“Oh, come on, Rob, you’re terrible at video games!”

“I am not,” he argued, helping her straighten her collar out.

“Don’t matter anyway, I can’t make it tonight,” Aaron said quickly.

“Really? Aw, Adam’s been looking forward to it.” She glanced between the two of them, Aaron avoiding her gaze. “Can’t stand in the way of true love, though. I’ll be in the kitchen.”

“Aaron,” Robert started, as Victoria walked away, but Aaron hopped up too.

“Getting changed,” he muttered, and hurried past.

“Trouble in paradise?” Katie called. Robert bit the inside of his mouth to stop from snapping something back at her that would scare the tourists.

“Go on,” Alicia said, gesturing to the back. “While it’s quiet.”

He nodded. “Thanks.”

He didn’t have far to go: Aaron hadn’t made it upstairs yet and was still in his overalls in the kitchen, leaning over the sink. Robert could see the blood from the doorway and rushed over.

“What happened?” he asked, reaching out to touch the cut on Aaron’s arm, but Aaron batted him away. There were scrunched up bits of toilet paper on the side with browning blood on them. Aaron turned the tap off and patted the cut with a piece of kitchen roll.

“Just cut myself at the garage,” he said. It wasn’t too long or deep, Robert could see when Aaron lifted his hand away, and it wasn’t bleeding very much.

“On purpose?” Robert asked softly.

Aaron’s head whipped up. “What? No! I just slipped.”

“And you thought you’d stop off for a beer first?”

He shrugged. “Thought it’d stopped bleeding.”

“What did you cut it on? Do you need a tetanus jab?”

“Just a piece of metal. Stop worrying, I’m up to date on all that.” He smiled quickly, though it wasn’t much comfort. “I’m fine.”

“How did it happen?”

Aaron ripped a new piece of kitchen roll off and wound it around his arm. “I was… having an argument with someone, wasn’t paying attention.”

“With who?”

He looked at Robert, his jaw clenching visibly. “Adam,” he muttered.

“What’s Adam done?”

“Nothing,” Aaron said quickly, and turned away, opening the fridge door.

“You wouldn’t argue with your bezzie over ‘nothing’,” Robert said. He hardly thought Aaron would argue with Adam over _anything_.

Aaron’s fingers tightened around the fridge door.

“Aaron,” Robert said, and lay his hand on Aaron’s arm. “Come on, tell me.”

“He slept with Vanessa,” Aaron said, low and quick, so quick Robert almost didn’t catch it. He did catch it, though, and jerked back.

“The vet?”

Aaron nodded without looking around at him. 

Robert took a breath. “When?” 

Aaron didn’t respond; Robert reached out and shoved the fridge door closed. Aaron finally turned around and looked at him. “ _When?_ ”

“After Vic knocked him back.”

“Her birthday? When did he tell you?”

“The next day,” he muttered. April Fool’s Day, then. Fitting.

“And you were going to keep it from her? Me?”

“I--” Aaron grimaced. “It didn’t mean anything to him and it’s not like he’s going to do it again. He’s my best mate…”

Robert stared back at him, not sure what to say. Aaron looked so anxious, but Robert couldn’t bring himself to console him. “I can’t believe you’d…” He shook his head. “I need to talk to Vic.”

“Are you gonna tell her?”

“ _Yes_ , I’m going to tell her,” he snapped back. “I’m not a fucking idiot.”

Aaron’s lip curled. “Like me, you mean?” 

“Whatever, Aaron,” he said and left the room, shoving the door open. When he was outside the door to the pub kitchen, he could hear her singing to herself and his heart sank. He pushed it open carefully.

“Vic?”

“Hey,” she called back. “I’m working on the pies now, the hungry masses can wait a while longer.”

He stepped inside and made sure the door was closed. “I need to tell you something.”

“Oh, I know,” she said, “you and Aaron are going to be in your love nest all evening. Don’t worry, we won’t disturb you.”

She wasn’t facing him, working the dough happily. He came over and stood to the side of her, his heart beating a little faster.

“Vic,” he said, and took a deep breath. “Adam cheated on you.”

She laughed, high and a little hysterical. “What? Give over!”

“After you told him you couldn’t marry him,” Robert continued. She looked at him out of the corner of her eye, the forced smile on her face fading away. “With Vanessa.”

“How do you…?” She looked at the door. “Aaron?”

“I’ve literally just found out. Vic…” He put his hands on her shoulders and she looked up at him, her eyes shiny with tears. “It’ll be okay.”

She shrugged him off. “I have to go,” she said, grabbing her bag. “I have to go and--”

“I’ll come with you.”

“No, I--” She shook her head quickly. “I have to know… I need to talk to him alone…”

“Well… Okay, call me if you need anything.”

“Yeah,” she said, and sniffed. “Thanks for-- for telling me.” She leant up and kissed him on the cheek, then rushed from the kitchen with her head down. He heaved a sigh and sat down on the edge of the countertop.

The door eased open a couple of minutes later and Aaron peered in. “I saw Vic run out,” he said, “how’d she take it?”

“How do you think?” Robert snapped. Aaron was curling his hands into his sleeves like he did when he was upset, but right now, Robert didn’t much care. “She’s devastated.”

“That’s why Adam didn’t want to tell her.”

“For fuck’s sake,” Robert muttered. “It’s always about Adam, isn’t it?”

“What?”

“Well, I can’t compete with the bloke who saved you when you tried to top yourself, can I?”

Aaron frowned. “Why would you be competing with him?”

“Because you obviously _were_ in love with him,” Robert shouted, coming closer. “Maybe you still are. Maybe the only thing holding you back is that he doesn’t like cock. Otherwise, why would you cover for him when you know it’s going to hurt me and Vic.”

“That’s crazy, I--”

Robert kept on going, talking right over him. “The really sad thing is, I’ve turned my whole life upside down for you! I’m back in this village I hate because I love you that much. I never-- I _never_ wanted anyone to know what I was, but I did that, for you, to be with you.”

Aaron was breathing quickly, his chest rising and falling as rapidly as Robert’s, probably. Robert’s words hung heavy in the air, _I love you that much_ , and Aaron stared at him, his mouth slightly open. “You said you wanted to come out,” he said quietly.

“I said I wanted you!” Robert yelled, suddenly incensed by Aaron’s anxious demeanour. “I wanted to be with you, properly. You know how easily I could’ve gone back to Manchester, be fucking swimming in cash again instead of scrabbling about in dirt for the pennies your fucking mother throws me? I could be living in a mansion right now, I could be there in a shot, but instead I’m here in this hell hole, people whispering behind my back, talking about me like I’m some sort of closet case like you, Katie asking me if I fucked all the boys at school. I don’t do all that because it makes me happy – I do all that because of you, but if you can’t even choose me over your cheating best friend, what’s the point of any of it? You know, he let you take the fall for a crime he committed, he’s not your white knight, much as you’d obviously like him to be.”

The kitchen was suddenly silent. Aaron looked at him, his eyes wide, and Robert had had enough. “I’m going out,” he spat, and brushed past him.

It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop in the pub when he stormed out. He clenched his jaw and looked at Alicia. “You hear all that?”

“Er, heard some shouting,” she said, “couldn’t make out the words, though.”

He nodded. That was something, at least. “Can you cover the rest of my shift? I’ll take yours tomorrow, the whole thing.”

“Yeah, okay,” she said, glancing around the still fairly empty pub. “Vic ran out before, do you think she’ll be back?”

“Don’t imagine it, no.”

“I’ll call Marlon, but he won’t be happy.”

Robert didn’t give a single shit whether Marlon was happy or not. He grabbed his wallet and phone from behind the bar and left, the eyes of the pub following him. Katie’s gaze weighed particularly heavy and he stopped as he passed her table.

“You wanna say something?” he demanded.

She pursed her lips. “Is Vic okay?”

He stared back at her for a minute. “No,” he said, and left, unable to think of anything else to say.

He had a quick look for Vic, wondering how she planned to get up to Butler’s. The Mini was still outside Keeper’s, thankfully, and she wasn’t anywhere to be found. She might have walked, though it was a long way on foot, or maybe caught the bus some of the way. Either way, she wasn’t around and he was standing out in the street doing nothing, but he couldn’t face going back inside yet.

“Robert?” Tracy called, coming down the street towards him. “You all right?”

He closed his eyes for a moment – he must have had the world’s worst luck. “Hey,” he said.

She frowned and gestured to the B&B. “Wanna come in? I’ve got some cleaning to do, but we can have a cuppa first.”

This felt unpleasantly familiar. “Is anyone in?”

“Just me, Val and Eric are at home, think all the guests are out.”

“All right,” he said, and followed her in. He was immediately confronted with the living room that him and Aaron had spent their perfect Sunday in, kissing and watching TV before a quick shag in the shower and an afternoon spent in Hotten. He’d thought that if they were together properly, maybe every day could be like that. He followed her to the kitchen, but stayed standing this time around, while Tracy made the tea.

“Why are you being nice to me?”

“I dunno,” she said. “You don’t have any friends, and neither do I, I guess.”

He opened his mouth to object, but found he couldn’t. A boyfriend and a sister didn’t really count as friends, did they?

“So, what happened?” she asked.

“I… had an argument with Aaron.”

“Yeah? What did you do?”

He frowned. That was it, wasn’t it? They’d always think the worst of him, everyone in the village, even an airhead like Tracy. “I didn’t _do_ anything.”

“Aaron?” she asked, and handed him the cup of tea. 

“He kept something from me that he shouldn’t have.”

“Something like…?”

He took a sip. The teabags they had at the Grange were rubbish, but better than nothing. “That’s private.”

“Fair enough,” she said.

“I shouldn’t have--” He cut himself off with a sigh. “I said some things to him I shouldn’t, ‘cause I was angry. Threw some stuff back at him. He was pretty upset.”

“So were you, by the sounds of it.”

“Yeah, but being mean to Aaron’s like… kicking a puppy.”

Tracy laughed. “Aw, he is a bit like a puppy, isn’t he? You know, Nathan told me once that you were really good in bed--”

“I should be, amount I used to charge,” he said.

Tracy grinned and continued, “--but that you were really prickly and difficult to talk to. He said there were too many layers of bullshit to dig through.”

“Thanks.”

“Aaron’s been digging, though, hasn’t he?”

Robert grimaced. “That’s a disgusting image.”

“All right, I’m not gonna write any bestsellers, but it’s still true. Most people don’t accept people like us; you know, in our line of work. You should hold onto him.”

“Like you did Sam? How much did you con him out of?”

“That’s different,” she said, and took a sip of her tea.

“How?”

She smiled a little. “He’s not fit like Aaron.”

He couldn’t argue with that. “I told him I loved him.”

“Oh,” she said with a wince, “first time?”

“Yeah.”

“And he didn’t say it back?”

He shook his head. “No. I think he’s in love with someone else.”

Tracy’s mouth dropped open. “He wouldn’t cheat on you, would he?”

“Not cheat, just… hung up on someone he can’t be with.”

Tracy hummed, looking unconvinced. “I don’t know,” she said, “you two seem pretty loved up every time I see you. Connor, I could believe, he’d go off with anyone at the first opportunity, but Aaron’s smitten, I swear.”

Robert didn’t respond. He hadn’t ever felt for Connor what he felt now for Aaron and Tracy was right, Connor would go off with guys when they were out clubbing, just for fun; Robert hadn’t really been bothered. They both slept around and they had fun together and that was what he’d been looking for. The thought of doing that with Aaron made his skin crawl. He wanted to be Aaron’s alone, and vice versa, not fucking around like a horny teenager. The closest he’d ever come to feeling like this was with Katie, for those few months when he’d thought he’d cracked it, but that didn’t even touch this.

He could ask Tracy if she knew how Connor was – surely Nathan had seen him since. He wasn’t sure he much cared, though, and Connor always found his feet. Like Tracy had said, he was always looking for an opportunity.

“You can stay here until you’re less upset, if you want,” Tracy said.

He wanted to say that he wasn’t upset, but even he couldn’t lie like that. “Thanks.”

“You can help me with the toilets,” she added cheerfully.

-

He came back to the pub a couple of hours later, going around the back to avoid the audience. He’d refused to be roped into cleaning toilets, but he had turned down the beds, and had done a better job of it than Tracy did. 

He steeled himself in the hallway, unsure of what he’d meet when he stepped inside, then opened the door.

“Robert?” Aaron called.

“Hey,” he said, and closed the door over. It was just him and Aaron in the back, thankfully. 

Aaron jumped up and crossed halfway to the door before stopping. “Where’ve you been?”

“The Grange.”

Aaron’s expression fell. “You’re gonna be staying there again, then?”

“No,” Robert said, and frowned. Aaron thought it was as easy as that for him to up and move out? “I got talking to Tracy. It’s sad, but after you, she’s the person who knows me best in the village. She made me help her with the cleaning.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and came closer. “I shouldn’t have stormed off like that before.”

Aaron stared at him for a moment, chewing his lip. “You don’t want to be here.”

“I just said I wasn’t going to the Grange.”

“In the village. You said before, the only reason you’re here is because of… me. Is that true?”

“Well, I mean, you literally brought me here without my knowledge,” he said, trying to inject a bit of humour that promptly fell flat. “I’m fine.”

“You hate it.”

“I don’t hate it, I just don’t like it that much, but it’s hardly the end of the world, is it?”

“You want to go back to Manchester.”

“I don’t.”

“You said you’d be back there like a shot.”

“I said--” He sighed; they were going around in circles. “Why didn’t you tell me about Adam?”

“He’s my best mate,” Aaron said quietly.

“And she’s my sister,” he replied, trying to stop his voice from raising. Aaron looked like he might bolt any minute. “I don’t… understand why he’s got such a hold over you.”

“I’m not in love with him,” Aaron said. Robert couldn’t stop himself from scoffing and Aaron’s eyes hardened. “I’m not. I had a shit childhood, all right? My father--” He visibly shuddered and Robert felt a strange jolt go through him. “I was better off after he threw me out, but I was… I don’t think Vic’s told you how awful I was. I got in with a gang, I ran drugs, I got into fights. I didn’t have anyone, couldn’t stand my mum. I’d never had a real mate until Adam. He came from a nice family, he was a nice guy, and yeah, I was attracted to him, and I tried to kiss him, and I messed his sister around, but he always stood by me. Even when…”

To Robert’s horror, Aaron had started crying, and the first thing he wanted to do was reach out and hug him, but Aaron was holding himself tensely, wiping at his face.

“Can we talk upstairs?” he said quietly, and sniffed.

Robert nodded quickly and let Aaron lead the way, following him up the stairs. They went into the bedroom and Aaron closed the door firmly. Robert sat down on the bed and so did Aaron, leaving some space between them.

“I had my first boyfriend when I was eighteen,” Aaron said, in an oddly flat tone of voice. “The lad I told you I beat up. His name was Jackson. He was a bit older, comfortable with being out. It all went too fast for me. He…” He took a shuddering breath. “He told me he loved me, but I, I couldn't handle it. Few days later, his van was hit by a train.”

Robert blinked in surprise. That wasn’t where he was expecting that to go. “He died?”

“Worse,” Aaron said, “he survived, but he was paralysed. Quadriplegic, nothing from the neck down.”

“Jesus,” Robert murmured. “Is he--”

“Just let me get this out, okay?” Aaron rushed on quickly. Robert nodded. “He didn’t want to live. He tried for months, to see the bright side, but… We were young, sometimes I think that if he could’ve held on a bit longer… His mum ground up some pills in a drink, but she couldn’t… I had to do it.”

“An overdose?”

Aaron was crying again, freely now. “Yeah. I was charged with his murder, but I got off. His dad said he hoped it’d haunt me the rest of my life and it does.”

Robert reached across and grabbed his hand. “It wasn’t murder.”

“Feels like it was sometimes. If we’d got him some proper help, if he’d tried a bit longer, who knows how things would have changed.”

“Sounds like he had his mind made up.”

Aaron nodded, and wiped at his eyes with his free hand. “I’m kind of surprised you didn’t already know. Everyone round here knows, Vic, he even lived with Andy for a while. Got in all the local rags.”

“When did it happen?”

“2011.”

“I was already… working,” he said. “Didn’t really talk to Vic much, didn’t read newspapers much, either. So… Adam supported you then?”

“Yeah. He always did. I know the arson thing was fucked up, but it really wasn’t his choice, I just felt like I owed him, you know?”

Robert sighed. “Not really, but then, I’ve never had a mate like that. I’ve never had any kind of mate, really.”

A frown crossed quickly over Aaron’s face. “You’ve got me,” he said, and gripped Robert’s hand tighter.

“I know I do. You’ve got me too.” It sounded so soppy to say out loud, but he didn’t care. Aaron smiled, no more tears, though his face was pink from it. Robert leant in and kissed him for a moment, and smoothed his hand over Aaron’s hair. “You had a fight with him today, then?”

“About dinner on Sunday, yeah. He was going to tell her, he said he knew it wasn’t fair to make me keep it quiet, but he wanted to wait a while. I thumped around after he was gone and whacked into some scrap metal.” 

Robert nodded, hoping that was the truth. The cutting must have had something to do with Jackson, he thought, but it didn’t seem like the moment to bring it up.

“We all right?” Aaron added.

“We’re the best,” Robert said, and winked. Aaron smiled back and Robert tugged on his hands. “Let’s go back down, eh, I’m hungry.”

Aaron followed him up and to the door before he stopped. Robert opened the door and looked back at him. “You all right?”

Aaron held his gaze for a moment. “I love you too,” he said quickly.

Robert’s mouth twitched with a smile just hearing those words. “You don’t have to say it if you’re not ready.”

“I am,” he said. “I love you, Robert.”

He didn’t hold back the grin that spread over his face and crowded Aaron against the wall, kissing him deeply. Aaron pressed into him, running his hands up the back of Robert’s shirt, and they tugged out each other’s clothes for a few minutes, Aaron almost out of his t-shirt before they heard the dulcet tones of Chas yelling their names from downstairs.

“Maybe if we’re quiet, she’ll go away,” Aaron murmured.

“Your mum?” Robert said, and laughed. “Not likely. She’s kind of killing the mood for me, may as well go down.”

Aaron sighed and pressed one last kiss to Robert’s jaw before pulling back and tidying his clothes. “Imagine if we lived somewhere without my mum and your stepmum constantly sticking their noses into our business.”

“Sounds like heaven,” he said, and meant it. Living here with Aaron was one thing; it was great, but living somewhere just the two of them would be something else, like a real proper relationship, and he hadn’t been sure, until maybe today, if that was something Aaron wanted, long term. He hadn’t been sure if that was something he wanted either.

Chas had a sour look on her face when they got downstairs. “I hear you and your sister both sacked off work today. I’d expect it off you, but Vic? You know, we had to close the kitchen because Marlon couldn't come in.”

Robert nodded as if he cared and Aaron sighed.

“Leave off, Mum, all right?”

She huffed, then narrowed her eyes at Aaron. “Have you been crying?” She rounded on Robert. “What have you done?” she demanded.

He barely resisted rolling his eyes as Aaron answered. “He didn’t do anything. Vic left because… she found out that Adam cheated on her.”

Chas looked at him for a moment. “And you knew about it?” she asked. At his nod, she pursed her lips and gestured to Robert. “You two had a fight about it and he stormed off?”

Aaron cleared his throat. “About the size of it.”

“And that made you cry?”

A blush was starting to colour Aaron’s cheeks. “No,” he said, an embarrassed edge to his voice. “We were talking about, you know… Jackson.”

Her eyebrows went up, mouth dropping into an ‘O’. It was awkward, standing there like a loose end while they talked, but worse when she turned her attention back to him. “You better not have said anything stupid.”

“I really appreciate the faith you have in me, Chastity,” he said

“ _Mum_ ,” Aaron said. “Robert was great. He’s great.”

He couldn’t stop himself from smiling at that and Chas looked uncomfortable for a moment, until she inclined her head in defeat and started discussing tea.

-

He worked Alicia’s morning shift the next day, despite the struggle to get out of bed. Vic hadn’t come in, causing Marlon to have one of his typical fits about being under appreciated, but Robert had called her and she didn’t sound too bad. Neither had mentioned Aaron’s part in it.

Andy came in around eleven, thankfully alone, and ordered a pint. Robert tried to duck serving him, but Priya had conveniently disappeared.

“Hey, Vic told me you told her about Adam,” Andy said as Robert handed him the pint. “That was good of you.”

“What else was I gonna do?,” he said, and cast his eyes around, but no one else wanted serving.

“Dunno. Your boyfriend--” He stopped at the sharp look Robert gave him. “Anyway, she’s better off without that little scrot. You talked to her today?”

“Yeah, you?”

Andy nodded. “Popped round before.”

Of course he had, always did one better than Robert. “How did she seem?”

“Upset, but you know how she is.” He flashed a smile. “She’s like you, plays it close to her chest.”

If he didn’t know better, he’d think Andy was being nice to him. “Yeah,” he said.

Andy sighed. “Look, me and Katie aren’t gonna come to this thing tomorrow.”

Robert looked at him for a moment. This might have been the most civil they’d been to each other in nearly fifteen years. “Don’t,” he said, “not on my account, at least.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Vic doesn’t need us at each other’s throats. I can control myself if you two can.”

“Can you?” Andy said, but he was smiling and Robert willed his hackles not to rise.

“Long as you don’t wind me up,” he said, tried to smile, though it might have been more of a grimace. “And as long as you don’t have a go at Aaron.”

Andy nodded. “Yeah, if you don’t have a go at Katie.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, then,” Robert said, none too subtly dismissing Andy from the bar, but Andy didn’t comment, just nodded and located a table to sit at.

-

Diane had decided to do Easter proper, including roping everyone in to going to Ashley’s church service. Robert wore one of his ‘poncy’ shirts, Aaron a clean t-shirt, and the two of them sat by the aisle with Diane, Andy, and Katie along from them. Doug wouldn’t be joining them for the roast because he was spending it with Laurel. She’d skulked in the back of the church along with Marlon and April, looking rough.

Vic hadn’t come to the service, though she said she’d be round to help Marlon in the kitchen and eat with the rest of them. Adam had had the good sense not to show his face either, though Moira was there, looking suitably embarrassed when the eyes of the village turned on her. 

Neither him nor Aaron went up to take communion.

“I’d probably burst into flames if I went up there,” Robert whispered in Aaron’s ear. “I’m already sweating.”

Aaron laughed quietly.

“I did pinch the communion wine once when I was a kid,” he continued, “got pissed off it.”

“How old were you?”

“Twelve or so?”

Aaron shook his head. “Late bloomer, then?”

“Chas put booze in your baby bottle?”

“Oh yeah, Budweiser, didn’t know any better.”

Any further conversation was cut off by Edna loudly clearing her throat as she passed on her way back to her pew. Her good will towards them had obviously run dry. The service wrapped up with Ashley’s kid going around the collection plate and a bag of crème eggs. Robert dug deep and gave two pounds.

“Most expensive crème egg I’ve ever bought,” he muttered, picking strips of foil off the egg. The foil was stuck fast to the chocolate and he dreaded to think how long they’d been in the sweaty palms of an eight year old.

“Stop grumbling, it’s for Jesus, innit?” Aaron replied as they ducked out of the church, avoiding the old biddy chit chat.

“I need the money more than Jesus does,” Robert said, and sucked chocolate off his thumb. Up road, Vic was coming out of Keeper’s and crossing over to the pub. Aaron drew in a breath.

“Maybe I should give dinner a miss.”

“And leave me with my family _and_ your family? No way!”

“But Vic--”

“Look, it’s your home, okay? What else are you gonna do? Hide in our bedroom or wander the streets? Go say sorry to her, she’ll forgive you. I did.”

Aaron snorted. “That’s ‘cause we’re fucking.”

Robert frowned. “That’s not the only reason.”

“Right,” Aaron said softly, and smiled. “I’ll come, but no promises that it won’t be awkward.”

“Oh, I can guarantee you it will be,” Robert said with a grin.

-

It was a full house for lunch – Chas and James, Andy and Katie, Diane, Vic, and, of course, the two of them. They all milled around the living room while the roast was still in the oven, though Vic was in and out of the pub kitchen, helping Marlon with the food for the hungry locals and long-weekenders. Robert and Aaron stayed on the other side of the room from Andy and Katie, drinking beer and talking quietly to each other, though Aaron was edgy and slow to reply.

“He’s having kittens in there,” Vic complained, stomping back in.

“When isn’t he?” Robert said, and nudged Aaron. “Go on.”

He took a couple of steps towards her. “Hey, er. Sorry about… Adam and that…”

Everyone was watching them surreptitiously and Aaron shifted from side to side. Vic smiled.

“You didn’t make him do it, did you?”

“No, but I should have told you.”

She shrugged. “He’s your best mate, I get it.” She reached up and gave him a one-armed hug, which he returned with a brief pat on her back. “Anyway, I’m here for dinner, not to cry over my problems.”

James muttered something under his breath to Chas, quiet enough not to be heard but not quiet enough to go over Robert’s head.

“What were that, James?” he asked.

James shook his head. “Nothing.”

“Yeah? You want to say something about your cheating son here?”

“Robert,” Vic murmured.

“He regrets what he did,” James said, and eyed Aaron. “He was going to tell Victoria himself, without all the drama.”

“Don’t have a go at Aaron,” Robert said, “he did the right thing here, sorry if that made Adam sad.”

James’s face hardened. They were in a sort of stand off, Robert, Aaron, and Vic on one side, James and Chas on the other, Andy, Katie, and Diane awkward spare parts. “Hardly think you’ve got room to talk,” he said.

“Excuse me?” Robert said, narrowing his eyes.

“We all know what you were like before.”

Robert laughed, a thin bark, and spread his hands. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I’m the only one here who had an affair with my brother’s wife. Least I didn’t knock her up.”

That brought a brief silence to the room – Katie was turning red in the face, Andy just looked embarrassed, and everyone else was in various stages of discomfort.

“And now you’re dating Aaron,” James said, his gaze drifting back to Chas.

She pursed her lips, glancing at Robert, then back to James. “That’s enough. It wasn’t anyone’s fault but Adam’s.”

Robert could see the slight flush of annoyance in James’s cheeks and smirked.

“If you two are done,” Diane said, “the roast is ready.”

There was a short discussion about who would be carving the sacrificial bird as they sat tensely around the table. Chas gave the knife to James, smiling apologetically. He didn’t seem particularly moved by the gesture, but carved anyway while Aaron glared at him. Robert recalled what Aaron said about none of Chas’s relationships lasting and hoped this one was on its last legs too. Chas was one thing – Robert frequently felt like killing her, but she was Aaron’s mum and he knew he had to put up with it – but James was another and they’d all be well rid.

Andy and James made polite conversation, talking farming, lambing season, foot-and-mouth outbreaks, a rogue fox killing chickens, the lot. Robert could feel himself moving closer to death just from hearing it and consoled himself with draining the majority of his second beer and fetching another. Aaron followed him up, a warm presence against his back as he dithered in the kitchen, delaying having to return to the table.

“You all right?” Aaron asked quietly.

“It’s like they’ve created a black hole of boredom,” he murmured back. “Reminds me of sitting round the breakfast table as a kid.”

Aaron snorted and briefly pressed his hand to Robert’s back. “So, you’re gonna get hammered to entertain yourself?”

“Was considering it,” he said with a smile and popped the cap of a new bottle. He offered it to Aaron with raised eyebrows and Aaron took it, taking a long drink, keeping his steady gaze on Robert. Robert grabbed another bottle from the fridge, popped the cap, and reluctantly made his way back to the table.

“So, Robert,” Katie said with a smile, “how’s everything going?”

He tensed up immediately. “Going great, Katie, how about you?”

“Well, Wylie’s is coming along, despite the… setbacks. Some of the floorboards are so rotten I’ve almost fallen through.”

“Oh no,” Robert said, flatly. “How terrible.”

Andy shifted uncomfortably beside his lady wife, but Katie was still smiling. “And how about you two?” she asked, glancing at Aaron. “How’s domestic bliss suiting you?”

The table was silent as Robert stared back at her, but Aaron answered for him. “Loving it,” he said, with a warmth to his voice that bled off a little of the tension in Robert’s body. “Robert makes a cracking full English.”

That hadn’t been the answer she was looking for, clearly, and she blinked a couple of times before answering. “Robert, doing something for someone else? That’s a first.”

“First time I wanted to, yeah,” he replied, a flush of satisfaction going through him at the expression on her face.

“Katie--” Chas started.

“Is Aaron your first boyfriend, then?” Katie asked.

Robert flinched, the silence of the others deafening. He set his jaw. “No.”

“No?” she repeated. “What other poor sods have you dated?”

He looked around the table, at a group of uncomfortable faces. Vic was pursing her lips, but she looked interested in the answer; they all did. Aaron hooked his fingers around Robert’s under the table. Katie was doing this because she thought she had power over him – and she did, the power to make him feel dirty and ashamed, like he was still fifteen, sitting on his bed in shock as his father dragged a boy out of the house. No one should have that kind of power over him.

“I lived with him for three years, his name was Connor. He was a really good shag.”

“Oh Robert,” Diane admonished with a slight smile.

“What happened to him?” Katie asked, her eyes vicious and intent.

He shrugged. “Lost interest in him, didn’t have much else going for him except his looks. You remember what that’s like, don’t you, Katie? Takes more than that to keep me interested. I remember when Sadie came along, couldn’t keep my eyes off her--”

“Hey, that’s enough,” Andy said sharply. “We agreed we wouldn’t fight.”

“Well, keep her on a lead, then, bro,” Robert shot back.

“Robert!” Vic barked. “That’s a horrible thing to say, don’t be so sexist!”

Robert opened his mouth to reply as Katie snorted smugly.

“And you!” Vic continued, rounding on her, her voice raising. “Stop winding him up! He’s doing his best and it doesn’t matter how many men or women he’s been with. Can’t we just have a nice dinner without getting into a scrap? You two have both moved on, it’s Easter, and my boyfriend has just cheated on me but you don’t see me carrying on, do you? Everyone, just be nice!”

“Sorry, Vic,” Robert and Katie mumbled at the same time.

“Yeah, sorry,” Aaron added.

“Why are you apologising?” Vic demanded, her eyes bright.

“Well, you know…”

She banged her hand on the table. “I already forgave you for that.” She picked up her glass of fizz, but it was empty, so she reached across the table and took Robert’s beer bottle instead, taking a long swig. He didn’t argue.

“So,” she said at length, while they all watched her nervously. “Anyone have anything fun planned this week?”

-

The rest of the lunch passed in awkward politeness and forced cheer, no one wanting to risk the wrath of Victoria. The food, at least, was good, and enough to see Robert into the evening without supper. Robert was, indeed, fairly drunk by the end of it and was let off the washing up by Diane as he was, quote, ‘neither use nor ornament’. Him and Aaron sneaked off upstairs and messed around on top of the covers, rolling around until Robert got on top, straddling Aaron’s thighs. Aaron unbuttoned his shirt and pulled him down for another kiss, dragging his fingers through Robert’s hair. Robert groaned, sliding forward and pressing his mouth to Aaron’s jaw. He loved the feeling of Aaron’s fingers in his hair, which Aaron knew and used to his advantage, pulling harder until Robert was humming with pleasure, kissing sloppily at the underside of his jaw.

He could feel Aaron’s erection grinding into his stomach when he moved, eliciting quiet huffs and shudders from Aaron. Robert was loath to stop mouthing at Aaron’s skin, but felt a duty to sort him out, despite knowing he himself wouldn’t have much luck getting it up. 

He shuffled down the length of Aaron’s body and fiddled with his fly until he managed to get it open. He hadn’t been much of a fan of giving blowjobs in the past, nor that experienced at it – he’d had a fair few guys act like he should be a dumpster for their spunk, that he shouldn’t have any gag reflex left, but he’d normally refused to give blowjobs the first time they came to him. After all, he didn’t want to put someone's diseased cock into his mouth and who the hell wanted to wear a condom when they were getting sucked off? A mouthful of latex wasn’t his idea of a good time, either.

Aaron didn’t give any indication that he wasn’t pleased with Robert’s form, though. Robert kept his hand wrapped around the base of Aaron’s dick and ran his tongue up the length of it, tipping his head up enough to watch Aaron’s reactions. His mouth was open, moving as if he was speaking, but the only sounds he was making were harsh pants and soft groans. He moved his hands to Robert’s hair again, twisting his fingers around the strands, not pushing or pulling, just holding on.

Robert took as much of him as he could, hollowing out his cheeks, then pulled back and did it again. Aaron jerked his hips a little, up and down, and they found a rhythm after a bit, Aaron rolling up to meet him with a few breathless grunts.

“Rob,” he mumbled after a few minutes, tightening his hand in Robert’s hair. Robert sucked a little harder and was soon rewarded for it. He swallowed down the first warm hit, then pulled off and jerked Aaron through the last of it, some hitting his face and chest.

“Fuck,” Aaron groaned when he lifted his head, his eyes half-lidded as Robert smiled at him, come dripping down his neck. Aaron bit his lip and stared for a moment before twisting to the side and grabbing some tissues off the bedside table. He pushed himself with a huff, pulled Robert closer with a hand on the back of his neck, and started cleaning Robert up. He was gentle, careful not to make a mess, and Robert felt almost entranced by it. He was still fairly drunk, he knew, which would account for the warm, dazed feeling that was spreading all over him, only he didn’t think it was that.

This was all Aaron.

Aaron balled up the tissues and tossed them onto the floor, then slid his hands down Robert’s sides. “You want me to…?”

“Nothing much going on down there tonight,” he said with a smile. 

They settled for kissing again, Aaron lying back and pulling Robert along with him, slow and unhurried until they ran out of steam and just lay sprawled across the bed together.

“Sorry about lunch,” Robert said after a few minutes.

“‘Lunch’,” Aaron scoffed quietly. Frankly, Robert only said it now because he knew it irritated him. “Nothing to be sorry for. Just wait until we’re having tea at Wishing Well and Debbie launches the gravy boat at you.”

Robert flushed at the way he said it, like it was a certainty that Robert would be invited into the Dingle inner sanctum. “Is that likely?”

“That Debbie would throw a gravy boat or that she’d throw it at you?”

“Er, both?”

“Almost guaranteed,” Aaron said with a grin.

-

Things ticked by. Robert's twenty ninth birthday was fast creeping up on him, though the less said about that, the better. Adam steered clear for the most part, though he did come into the pub a few times the week after Easter while Robert was serving. He sent his mum or Aaron up for the beers. Robert held his tongue about it – Adam had become something of the elephant in the room for the two of them and the best Robert could do was ignore it when Aaron spent an evening boozing with him. To be fair to him, though, Aaron hadn’t spent that much time with him and he was always in bed with Robert by ten. Chas wondered aloud when him and Adam were going to have another night out on the town and Robert had to bite down hard on the inside of his mouth to stay quiet as Aaron muttered for her to lay off. Vic told Robert not to take it personally, that’s just how Chas was, and not to be mad at Aaron for standing by a mate; she was a better person than he, that was for sure.

Still, he did his level best to dodge spending too much time with Chas, but there wasn’t much he could do about seeing her in the mornings over the breakfast.

James was leaning down to kiss her on the top of her head when Robert came in. “I’m great, how could I not be?” he was saying, and glanced quickly at Robert. “See you later.”

“Yeah, later,” Chas said, looking a little confused as James brushed past Robert and out the door. 

“Patched things up, then?” Robert asked. They’d had a barney, according to Aaron, though Robert did his best to avoid knowing too much about the goings-on of his boyfriend’s mother’s love life. He’d heard her and James once or twice when he passed their bedroom and that was quite enough to do him.

“It was just a little row,” she said. “About you, as it goes.”

“Oh yeah,” Robert said in his most bored tone of voice, and went over to the kitchen. “What’d I do now?”

“Bloody rude to him on Easter, weren’t you?” she said, twisting in her seat to look at him.

He switched the kettle on and opened one of the top cupboards in search of sugar. “You didn’t seem to disagree with me,” he said, and grimaced at the puddle of sticky honey that had leaked out of the squeezy bottle onto the shelf. He squatted down and opened a bottom cupboard in search of wipes as Chas hummed irritably. His phone jabbed into his hip and he took it out of his pocket and put it on the side above him.

“Is Aaron up?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he said, and pulled out the wipes. “He’s finishing up in the bathroom.”

Chas grimaced. She’d caught them coming out of the bathroom together a couple of times; the way Aaron’s face had gone bright red was very cute, not that Robert would dare say that to his face and expect any more blow jobs in the shower. He started cleaning the shelf.

“Just stop winding James up,” she said.

“It’s not my fault his son’s a cheat,” Robert said.

Chas pursed her lips. “Because you’re so morally opposed to cheating, are you?”

He scraped the honey off as best he could and went back to his tea. “Could say the same about you,” he said, and smiled at the look on her face. “I know all the gossip, Vic and Aaron tell me everything. I know that you and him didn’t get on for a long time, too.”

“Is that a threat?” she said, straightening in her chair, drawing her pink polka dot dressing gown around herself.

“No,” he said, and honestly he hadn’t meant it as a threat, he guessed everything just sounded that way when he said it. “Just an observation.”

They were both rescued from the conversation by Aaron coming in, looking sloppy in a t-shirt and hoodie. Chas turned to him with a bright smile.

“Hiya, love, if you’re all done, I’ll go finish up.”

“Er, yeah, all right,” he said, and eyed her as she passed. “What did you say?” he asked Robert, when she was safely out the room.

“Nothing!” Robert said with a laugh. The kettle finished boiling and he poured out the water in a mug and dropped one of his ‘fancy’ (read: not Tesco Everyday Value) teabags in. “Not much, anyway.”

“Rob,” Aaron murmured, but he was smiling when Robert glanced back at him. 

Robert mixed some milk and sugar in and took his tea to the couch, hip checking Aaron gently as he passed. Aaron rolled his eyes and got some bread out of the bread bin for toast.

“So, what were you talking about?”

“Oh, you know,” Robert said, sitting down carefully to not disturb his tea. “World peace.”

“Yeah? You sort it?”

“Oh yeah: give your family all the nuclear launch codes and then nobody will ever put a foot wrong again.”

He heard Aaron laugh and smiled into his tea.

“Just as long as Cain doesn’t--” Aaron started.

“Cain doesn’t what?” When he didn’t reply, Robert looked over his shoulder. Aaron was looking at the side, his back to Robert. “Aaron?”

“Who’s Chrissie?” Aaron asked in a low, tight voice.

“What?”

Aaron turned around, Robert’s phone held in his hand. “Chrissie,” he repeated, and Robert jumped up. “She says she misses you and hopes things can get back to normal soon.” Every word was like a bullet that Aaron was firing at him.

“She’s just an old client,” he said, and reached out for his phone. Aaron let him take it out of his hand, but he looked fit to pop. Robert glanced down at it and sighed at the message on the lock screen; Chrissie couldn’t have sent a much worse message if she’d tried.

“Why have you got a client’s number in your new phone?” Aaron asked in a quiet voice. There was something much more worrying about Aaron when he was quiet than when he was loud.

“Well, I… saw her once, after coming here,” Robert said slowly, forcing his breath not to catch in his throat.

Aaron stared at him for a long moment, unblinking. “She’s your rich bird, isn’t she?” he said at length. Robert didn’t say anything, but his grimace was answer enough. “When Vic asked about your ‘girlfriend’ you said her name was Chrissie.”

“It was just the first name that came to mind,” he said, and quickly unlocked the phone. “Look, I haven’t responded to her in over a month, the last time was at the beginning of March and I just fobbed her off.” He brought up his texts with Chrissie, hers all unanswered on the left, and gave the phone back to Aaron.

Aaron took it from him without breaking eye contact, then looked down, his jaw tight and tipped up.

“All right?” Robert prompted.

Aaron tapped on the screen for a moment and swiped his thumb up it. A muscle in his jaw jumped. “Those were your ‘network messages’, weren’t they?” he said.

“Er, yeah, I just didn’t think that--”

“I didn’t even occur to me that it wasn’t the truth,” Aaron said, a harsh edge to his voice as he shoved the phone back into Robert’s chest. “You’re that good, I can’t tell when you’re lying.”

Robert stuck the offending phone back in his pocket. “It wasn’t important.”

“It wasn’t _important_?” Aaron echoed, his eyes flashing with anger.

“Not to me,” he said. “She was wanting my services, I wasn’t interested, that was the end of it.”

“How am I ever supposed to trust you?” Aaron murmured.

Robert laughed a little. “What, you think I’m cheating. When? I’ve hardly even left the pub since I moved in. You know where I am twenty four seven. I think you’d notice if I whipped off to Manchester on a jolly.”

His attempt at levity did nothing to defuse Aaron’s mood, something he probably could have foreseen. “You flirt with every woman who comes into the pub.”

“That’s what I do, I’m a flirt, doesn’t mean I’m going to do anything about it.” He paused, looking at the expression on Aaron’s face – tight jaw, flared nostrils, an anxious, angry sheen to his eyes – and his heart sank. “But that’s not why you’re angry.”

“It’s not?” Aaron said through clenched teeth.

“No.” He sighed and ran a hand over his hair. “You’re not okay with my… old job or me being bisexual. And you know what? Neither am I, but I didn’t think you’d be the one to make me feel worse about it. If you keep looking for reasons not to trust me, you’ll find them.”

“Yeah, well, you make it easy.”

Robert ran his tongue along the back of his teeth. “Right. What’s there to say, then? I turned my whole life upside down to be with you--”

“You’re throwing that in my face again?”

Robert shrugged, feeling heat bloom behind his eyes. “Happens to be the truth. I’ve spent half my life hating myself, hating what I am, feeling dirty. Guess it was stupid of me to think that if you loved me, you wouldn’t think the same.”

Aaron blinked, his eyebrows drawing together. “Don’t lay this all on me,” he ground out.

“Oh no, God forbid anything ever be your fault, Aaron,” Robert snapped. “Just go to work. Obviously I can’t make you happy, so just fuck off to work and I’ll go out there and be abused by your nearest and dearest, just for the hell of it.”

He turned and took long strides out of the living room, slamming the door behind him. He stopped by the cellar and squeezed his eyes shut, a shudder going through him. If Aaron couldn’t accept him the way he was, what hope did he have? What hope would he ever have? 

He could just go; he could walk out with his bags, catch a train to Manchester, go to Chrissie’s lovely big house and spin her a line. He could do that, he knew for sure, he could tell a tale tall enough for her to let him into her home permanently. He could have his every whim catered to, paid for; he could fuck her sister and maybe her dad too, the whole family. If that was all he was good for, a dirty whore who’d sleep with anyone, what was stopping him?

“Robert?”

He jumped at the voice, a wild hope in his chest that it was Aaron with a kind word – Robert would accept it, God, he’d accept anything – but it was only Marlon, frowning at him.

“You all right?”

“Yeah,” he said quickly, and wiped at his face. Shit, his nose was running a little. “Hay fever. My shift’s about to start.” He threw one long look at the living room door, but it didn’t open and he couldn’t bear the thought of going back inside. “Better get out there.”

-

Robert didn’t see Aaron leave for work – he didn’t come through the front like he did these days, a quick kiss pressed to Robert’s cheek before he headed off, comfortingly domestic. Chas looked a little suspicious, but she didn’t ask and he didn’t offer, and then she was off to Hotten. He flirted with the customers more than normal, really turned it up on the ladies, making Diane tut behind her hand at him.

Chas got back after lunch, a few bags from that borderline sex shop in precinct hooked around her wrists. Robert imagined what Aaron’s reaction would be if he saw those, then banished the thought.

Priya came in with her brother and mum, gloating about her new job. Working for Daddy at a sweet factory, what a score. Beside him, Chas and Diane were talking about shopping, which swiftly turned to talk of lingerie.

“There are cheaper places to get your underwear,” Diane said, and Robert turned away, busying himself at the pumps.

“Yeah, but would a fella really appreciate them as much,” Chas replied, and Robert bit down on a gag. Emma and Ross came in at the perfect moment to share the terrible mental image and ordered a lager and a gin and tonic.

“Maybe you should tone it down,” Robert said, turning to grab the tonic bottle off the back shelf. “You’re putting the punters off their drink.”

Chas looked at Emma as she sat down at a table. “She’ll live,” she said with a smile.

They weren’t done, though, and somehow Robert found himself listening to Chas and Diane discuss Diane and Doug’s sex life. The thought of Doug undressed made him want to eat broken glass, and Zak joining in with a lecherous comment to Chas – his niece or cousin or whatever – really topped off the day he was having.

“Incest is best, eh, Zak?” he said, “especially for your lot.”

Zak took a deep breath to argue, but deflated ineffectually when someone called Robert’s attention away. He served the woman with wide smile, as he heard Chas say something about having her underwear ripped off, then excused himself into the back to change the barrel.

When he came back up, Chas was dragging Emma out by her hair.

“What the hell is going on?” he asked no one in particular.

“Sounds like Emma and James have been, you know,” Zak said, and made a lewd hand gesture. Moira grimaced beside him.

Robert ignored him and followed the procession of people out the door. Chas threw Emma right into James and it didn’t take long for him to confirm it.

“Like father, like son, then,” Robert said.

Chas swung around and shoved past him back in the pub. “Don’t you say a fucking word,” she snarled, pursued by James. 

Robert threw up his hands; even when he was on her side, she gave him shit. He went back into the bar and shrugged at all the interested faces that turned to him.

“Er,” Zak said, after Chas and James disappeared into the back. “Another half?” 

They all heard Chas shouting at James for a few minutes, then everything went quiet. Moira got on her phone and called Cain – what an idea, that certainly wouldn’t escalate the situation any. Robert went back to pulling pints alongside Diane and fielded questions with a shrug and one word.

“Dingles.”

“Oi,” Zak muttered.

“What? You were completely unmoved by the cat fight,” Robert replied. “Business as usual, isn’t it?”

Zak huffed but didn’t disagree. Cain burst in a few minutes later and him and Moira went through to the back. Robert wondered if Aaron knew or if he should call him, but he shook the thought away. He wasn’t part of their family, so it was none of his business.

All was quiet for half an hour. Moira and Cain came back out without any blood shed. Maybe Moira really had tamed the beast.

“You take up so much of her time with your pathetic little dramas,” James’s voice boomed behind Robert. He started and turned around as James came out from the back, followed by Aaron – he didn’t even know Aaron was home. They shared a brief look, Aaron’s face white with anger, his lips drawn back. “The both of you,” James added, swinging his gaze to Robert.

“I haven’t done anything to you, _mate_ ,” Robert snapped back.

James looked back at Aaron. “Why don’t you man up and stop running to Mummy every time something goes wrong?” he spat.

The next few moments passed as if in slow motion. James turned away and Aaron looked down at shelf of spirits next to him. He started to reach out, his fingers wrapping around the neck of a vodka bottle and Robert jolted, jumping forward. He got his hands around Aaron’s arms as Aaron reached out towards James and yanked him back. The bottle slipped from Aaron’s hand and smashed on the floor next to them. James spun back in surprise and Aaron fairly snarled at him.

“Stop!” Robert said, trying to wrestle him back. Christ, Aaron was strong. Robert already knew he was no weakling, felt some of his strength when they had sex and Aaron bore down on him, but nothing like this. This was like holding back the Hulk. “Aaron!” he yelled, wrapping one arm around his chest as Aaron tried to shake him off. “ _Stop_!”

“What the hell is going on?” Chas shrieked, drawn out by the commotion. Cain was out of his seat and giving James a bollocking. “James, get out!” she yelled, then turned back to Aaron and Robert. “In the back, now!”

Robert dragged him around and frogmarched him to the back room. Aaron squirmed in his grip.

“Get off me,” he demanded.

“You gonna go nuts and try to bottle someone again?” Robert said.

“No,” he growled, and wrenched himself away when Robert eased off a bit. He stormed the rest of the way to the back and Robert glanced around, sharing a look with Chas, before they both followed him in.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Robert shouted as Aaron threw himself down onto the couch. “You’re on a suspended sentence, what were you thinking?”

“He’s right,” Chas said, “you could've gone back inside. Is that what you want?”

Aaron smirked up at the two of them. “First time you two’ve ever agreed on anything.”

“Well, it’s not hard when you’re being an idiot,” Robert said and Chas nodded beside him. “Just because we had a bust up doesn’t mean you can go around assaulting people.”

“A ‘bust up’?” Chas repeated in a cold tone. Robert rolled his eyes to the ceiling; that truce didn’t last long. “What did you do?”

“I--” he started, but Aaron sat forward and cut him off.

“He didn’t do anything,” he said, the look in his eyes softening. “I… overreacted about something and we got into it. Weren’t his fault.”

“I should’ve told you sooner,” Robert murmured.

“Told him what?” Chas asked.

Aaron held up a hand. “Mum, can you just give us a minute?” She opened her mouth as if to argue, but Aaron waved her off. “Please?”

She sighed and looked at Robert, nostrils flared. “Fine, but if you need me--”

“I won’t,” Aaron said shortly. “And don’t let Cain charge in here, yeah?”

“Fine,” she repeated, and left the room, closing the door over. Robert pushed it all the way shut, then sighed and turned back to Aaron. Aaron chewed at his lip and gestured for Robert to sit down next to him on the couch. 

“Sorry about… that,” Aaron muttered as Robert took a seat. 

Robert rubbed at his forehead. “I shouldn’t have kept it from you. But the way you behaved back there, that wasn’t… normal.”

Aaron hunched his shoulders, looking like a chastened child. “I know,” he said. “That’s just how-- how I am sometimes. When I told you what I was like as a kid, I guess I haven't changed that much. It just… builds up inside of me until it boils over.” 

“Fair enough, but you can’t go off on one like that every time we argue, because God knows we will. If you don’t want to be with me, then don’t be with me, but don’t risk prison just because you’re unhappy.”

“No,” Aaron said, shaking his head quickly. “I am happy. I am happy with you. I just can’t stand being lied to, makes me feel crazy.”

Robert sighed. “It really didn’t seem important to me.” He could see Aaron’s eyes flare at that, but he kept himself under control this time.

“That’s not your decision to make, though,” Aaron said. “You didn’t just not tell me, you _lied_ , you made up some cover story and I bought it. How do you think that makes me feel?”

“I didn’t want to upset you over nothing,” Robert replied, knowing how stupid that sounded, considering the day’s events.

“And look how that worked out,” Aaron said with a smile. Robert smiled back.

“I know,” he said, “but you have to trust me. Maybe I don’t make that easy, but there’s no point in any of this if you can’t. I’m not going to see her again. For a while, yeah, I thought me and her could've been a thing long term, I could've got myself a big payday, but then I met you and the money didn't matter any more, not the way it had. I knew if we got together for real I’d have to give it up. I think, deep down, I knew that as soon as I realised how I felt about you.”

“You did?”

Robert laughed. “It wasn’t hard to tell that you’re the jealous type, you know. I just wanted to pay off my debts first, start out clean again, but I guess I’m never gonna be clean, am I?”

Aaron reached out and wrapped his hand around Robert’s. “That’s not true.”

Robert shook his head. “I get why you don’t trust me, I get that it’s hard to trust a-- a prostitute,” he said, dropping his voice on the word. Aaron winced and opened his mouth to say something, but Robert kept going. “I can change that part of myself, I can change myself for you and I will, but I can’t change being bisexual and I can’t… I can’t keep feeling like this, like I did when I was fifteen. You were right that it’s hard to come out – it’s really hard and I’m struggling, but I don’t want to struggle with you too.”

Aaron swallowed heavily, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “I just have trouble getting my head around it,” he muttered. “I don’t get how you can like both.”

“And I don’t get how you can’t,” Robert said, keeping his tone light. The corners of Aaron’s mouth tipped up slightly.

“I fought against being gay for so long,” Aaron continued, “I thought that it was because… that it wasn’t normal, that I was broken, and…”

“And here I am, able to merrily pass for straight?” Robert finished. Aaron’s eyes widened. “It’s all right, it’s been said to me before. It was Connor’s favourite insult when we argued. Sometimes I hate it too, because I _could_ hide behind it, I could get by okay with only half of myself. If I was gay, maybe I would’ve fronted up years ago, not been a coward.”

“You’re not a coward,” Aaron said quickly. “You’re the furthest thing from it.”

Robert tipped his head; they both knew that wasn’t true, that if he hadn’t been a coward, he would have stood up to his dad, stayed to face the music over Max, gone to school and got a real job. “I like men and I like women, but I love you. I want to be with you, not some bird I meet at the pub or bloke on the street. I just want to be myself now, with you. That’s all I want.”

“But you don’t want to be _here_ ,” Aaron said. 

“Not… forever,” Robert said. “I mean, do you?”

“Not really,” Aaron murmured.

“Well, then, one day we’ll move away, eh? I’ll get myself a good job sorted and we’ll buy some flash pad just for the two of us.”

Aaron smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkled up. “I’d like that. I think I’m just freaked out because we’ve been moving kinda fast. I’m not used to that – I mean, except Ed. I left the country to live with him after a couple of weeks, but look how that turned out. I guess I’m still not completely comfortable with it all, relationships and that. Sometimes I need time to get my head on straight.”

“Do you want to slow things down?” Robert said quietly, anxiety suddenly constricting his chest.

“No,” Aaron said firmly. “Do you?”

“You know I don’t,” Robert said, “but if you need time…”

“I just need to chill,” he said. “I love you. It’s all gone really quick, but I wouldn’t go back.”

“Me either,” Robert said, and pressed forward, kissing Aaron. “We’ve just gotta go a bit easier on each other.”

“Yeah,” Aaron agreed, curling his hand around the back of Robert’s head, and brushed his lips up close to his ear. “Not in bed, though, eh?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry for the big gap with this chapter; on the bright side, it's very long! I've been working on another fic which I might post on the weekend, if I can get my arse in gear, and that took up a lot of my time this last week.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys, sorry for the long gap in updates. I got a new job with long hours a month ago, and I hoped I'd be able to get this chapter finished and posted before the job started, but that obviously didn't happen. Chapter fourteen is going to be a big one, so I don't really know when I'll have it done, maybe not until after Christmas - we'll see. I haven't given up on this fic, though, so no worries there!

He tried not to think about ‘Chrissie’, what she looked like, where she lived – Aaron already knew where she lived, in theory: some bloody mansion in Manchester. He bet she weren’t Mancunian, though. They didn’t talk about it again after his near bottling of James; Mum let Robert off the rest of his shift and they had an early tea and watched a film from Aaron’s meagre collection of DVDs that Robert found acceptable, _Alien_.

“Nerd,” Aaron said as Robert navigated his way through the menu.

“It’s your DVD,” Robert replied, mashing the play button.

He shrugged. “Finn gave it me.”

“Mm,” Robert hummed, not taking his eyes off the telly. Seemed like that was the heights that his jealousy reached, a slight huff. Not like Aaron, who could commit grievous bodily harm because he was in a mood. Robert wouldn’t bring it up again, Aaron was fairly sure, the same way he hadn’t mentioned Adam again after their last ding dong. Were the roles reversed, Aaron knew he’d get a lot of mileage out of that before he’d let it go, like how now Chrissie was still playing on his mind and he was biting his tongue against the urge to ask all sorts of questions.

It followed him to bed, as Robert got comfortable beside him, rubbing hand cream into his hands – that was how his skin stayed so soft. Had Robert spent nights with Chrissie? Aaron would be surprised if he hadn’t, she was obviously loaded and could have afforded him the whole night through, unlike Aaron. She probably bought him his nice clothes and took him to fancy restaurants, she probably put him on her arm and flaunted him to everyone she knew, because she could, because it was normal for a beautiful man and a beautiful woman to be together, Robert had practically said as much.

“Can you…?” Robert murmured, handing Aaron the tube of cream to put on his bedside table. Still needed that second one. 

He took it and put it next to the clock, then switched the lamp off and shuffled down the sheets with a sigh. He bet Chrissie had better than a rickety small double. Robert squirmed into place beside him, then rolled on his side and put his arm around Aaron’s waist.

“Night,” Robert sighed.

Aaron took a breath and smiled up at the dark ceiling. “Night.”

-

He left Robert drooling slightly into the pillow the next morning and got dressed for work in the bathroom. He managed to dodge his mum and left the pub with a slice of toast stuck in his mouth to open up the garage. The morning was slow, just him and a couple of customers popping in. He got some looks as people passed by, no doubt having heard about last night. He hated that he always ended up there, lashing out at someone, not the person he was angry with, even – and who was that, Robert? Did he want to brain Robert over some hidden text messages?

Robert was there, everyday, not with her. He’d chosen to stay here for Aaron’s sake, which made Aaron’s stomach turn uncomfortably. No one had ever stuck around for him, certainly not somewhere they didn’t want to be, not even his mum.

“Oi, soft lad,” Cain called, dragging Aaron from both under the hood of a car and his thoughts. “I was calling you from across the street.”

Aaron shrugged. “Didn’t hear you, sorry.”

Cain narrowed his eyes and looked him up and down appraisingly. “No bruises on you, then? Guess he’d come off worse, though.”

“What?”

Cain walked towards the office and Aaron followed at a slow pace. “You looked all ready for a fight when he dragged you off. You’re lucky Sugden was there, you know.”

“‘Lucky’?” Aaron repeated, and snorted. “You’ve changed your tune.”

“He’s a world class prick, but he kept you out of prison,” Cain said with a shrug, and turned as Aaron stepped into the office behind him. “Now, I’ve got the books to do.”

Aaron took his foot back off the step and gave a little salute. “Aye, aye,” he said, and Cain shut the door in his face.

Adam was loitering around the garage around dinnertime and Aaron shouted to Cain that he was taking his break to little response. It was still weird, spending time with Adam – Robert hadn’t brought up again about Aaron being in love with Adam, but he could tell by the faces Robert pulled that he wasn’t over it. Aaron didn’t think he did feel that way about Adam – not the warm, breathless way he felt around Robert – but he guessed he had got used to putting Adam first. It hadn’t been a problem in the past because Adam hadn’t done something like this before.

They ran into Robert and Vic coming out of David’s as they were heading to Bob’s, Robert weighed down with bags and towering over Vic as she lectured him about something. He was smiling resignedly as they approached, his smile fading a bit at the sight of Adam. Vic looked around and sighed.

“All right?” Adam said.

She shrugged.

“Finally up, then?” Aaron said to Robert, who smiled again.

“You could’ve woken me.”

“Nah, you need your beauty sleep, don’t you?”

Robert narrowed his eyes. “Vic’s baking brownies, I’ll bring some back for after tea.”

“All right,” Aaron said, ignoring the look Adam gave him. “See you later, then.”

They dithered for a moment on the pavement, Robert’s hands still full, before Robert leant in and kissed him quickly. It took Aaron by the surprise, which he guessed showed, judging by the barely contained smile on Vic’s face. She managed to hold it, even when Adam muttered a goodbye and they went there separate ways.

Adam elbowed him. “You’re so loved up!”

Aaron laughed and pushed him away. “Shut it.”

“Nah, you’re lucky.”

“You’re the second person to tell me that today,” Aaron said, pushing the café door open.

“Oh, about him stopping you from going off on one?” Adam said. “Yeah, that was lucky too. Wish someone had stopped me from…” He trailed off as they reached Bob and Aaron gave him a sympathetic nudge.

“No Robert today?” Bob said cheerfully.

Aaron stopped himself from rolling his eyes at the inanity of it. “Nope.”

“Thought you two were joined at the hip!” 

Aaron raised his eyebrows. “Cup of tea and a bacon roll, please, Bob,” he said, and Bob’s smile dimmed. 

“Yeah, same,” Adam added, and Bob cleared his throat and said he’d bring it over. They took a table by the window and Adam smiled again. “You are hardly ever apart, though.”

“I guess,” Aaron said, smiling a little. Adam gave him a light kick under the table.

“You’re proper in love, aren’t you?”

Aaron shrugged and slouched down in his chair. “Yeah,” he mumbled.

“Mate! I’m made up for you,” Adam said.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, of course!” Adam said, sitting forward. “Just because I made a mess of everything doesn’t mean I’m not happy for you and he’s an all right bloke; good to Vic, at least.

“She’s really important to him,” Aaron said. Robert hadn’t said so, but it was obvious; he’d missed having a family, Aaron could see it in the way he talked to Vic, the way he watched her while she was talking. He still hated Andy and Diane had only been his stepmother for a year or so before he left the village, so Vic was really all the family Robert had, and he did have a heart, much as he was loath to admit it. “He told me he loved me a couple of weeks ago.”

“Yeah? Nice! You say it back?”

Adam knew him so well. “Eventually,” he said. “We were fighting when he said it.”

“About me?” Adam asked with a grimace.

“Er, well, among other things.”

Adam smiled a little. “I’m really made up,” he repeated. “I still reckon one day we’ll be brothers for real.”

“You think you’ll get Vic back on side?”

“She’s thawing,” Adam said, with a glint in his eye. He paused for a moment as Bob came over with their food, then grinned. “Did you see her out there on the street? She nodded at me; it’s a start!”

-

Aaron wasn’t sure Adam was right about the Victoria situation, but he decided not to broach it with either of them. He was still uneasy with Vic, despite her assurances, and didn’t want to rock the boat. She was serving at the bar when he got back from work and he stopped to get a drink before going through to the back.

“Hiya,” she said, “lager?”

“Please,” he said, and settled on a barstool. “How did the brownies go?”

“Great,” she said, and set a pint down in front of him. “Robert scoffed a load, though. Got a headache from the sugar rush.”

Aaron grinned. “Getting old.”

“Don’t tell him that,” she said, and leant her arms on the bar. “That reminds me, though. I do think we should do something for his birthday, even if he isn’t bothered.”

“Birthday?” Aaron repeated. “Er…”

“You didn’t know?”

He frowned. Robert had mentioned once that his birthday was in April, but he hadn’t brought it up since and Aaron had totally forgotten. “I guess I knew it was in April…” He winced. “When is it?”

“The 22nd.”

“That’s only in five days!”

“Well…” Vic shrugged. “I guess if he didn’t tell you, he doesn’t want a fuss. He didn’t mention anything to me, either.”

Difference there was, Vic already knew. “I can’t just not do anything for it, can I? We spent my birthday together.”

“You did?” Vic asked, frowning. He nodded. “That’s where you went after your birthday drink?”

“Yeah,” he said, feeling himself blush a little. 

She shook her head. “Wow. I still have trouble getting my head around you two, sometimes. You two spent all those months seeing each other without telling anyone.”

“He didn’t want to come out.”

“No, I know… Just wish I’d known him a bit better,” she said softly. It was a nice sentiment, but exactly what Robert hadn’t wanted, at the time. “I got him a techy watch for his birthday. Finn helped me pick it. Rob used to like all that stuff, I think. I was little, but that’s what Dad and Diane used to say.”

“I’m sure he’ll love it.” Aaron chewed on his lip for a moment. “You’re gonna bake a cake, right?”

“Yeah, I can.”

“All right. We’re going to do something for his birthday, keep it a surprise.”

He just had to figure out exactly what first.

-

He spent the next couple of days struggling around on the internet, trying to find something to buy Robert. He thought about a poncy shirt or a gift card to a poncy shirt shop, a pair of shoes, a book, but he didn’t really trust that he could pick something Robert would actually like. 

Then he hit on another idea: a holiday. Robert didn’t like being in the village, they’d beaten that topic to death recently, so maybe getting away would do them both some good. With only three days to spare, he was looking up flights to France or Spain, but they were a bit pricey so close to the departure date and hotels were filling up. They could have taken the Eurostar to Calais, but that meant getting down to London first and the whole journey would take hours. He started looking closer to home instead, somewhere they could drive to. That made more sense anyway, since it could be a proper surprise and use up the whole five days off Aaron had managed to wrangle out of Mum and Cain.

“You’ve been on that laptop a lot recently,” Robert said from the kitchen on the evening of the 20th, as Aaron finally finished booking the hotel. He’d found a deal on a place in Blackpool right on the beach which looked nice, but it was still only Blackpool and he wasn’t really sure if Robert would like it. Too late to find something else, though.

Aaron had picked the far armchair to sit in so that Robert wouldn’t accidentally see anything over his shoulder. “Yeah?”

Robert steeped his fancy teabag in the big mug he’d bought specially from a shop in town. “Yeah. No offence, but you’re not exactly a computer whiz.”

“Er, offence,” Aaron said with a laugh, shutting down the browser and closing the lid.

Robert grinned and came over to the settee with his tea. “What were you doing?”

“Just… Facebook-stalking old mates from school.”

“Anything interesting?”

“Nah, just in prison or have a bunch of kids, or both.” He put the laptop aside and got up from the armchair to join Robert. Robert lifted his arm and Aaron settled against him, a brief thrill going through him at how easy this was. He didn’t think anything had ever felt as right as this did, right now. He shifted a bit and sniffed. “Your tea smells rank, by the way.”

He spent the next day sorting everything out, buying a banner and the crappiest card David had on the shelf. Robert was working in the morning and had another ‘shift’ the afternoon of his birthday, with Alicia ready to take over when Aaron revealed his plans. Vic was baking a chocolate cake for the occasion and Aaron asked her to bake a single cupcake as well.

He tried to play it cool in the evening, but subterfuge was never his strong point and Robert asked him more than once if he was okay. Aaron eventually managed to distract him from his questions by getting him under the covers. Robert didn’t mention his birthday at any point.

-

“Rob,” he said softly the next morning, leaning over him. It was nine am and Aaron had got early and whipped downstairs to get the cupcake and stick a candle in it. Now he was sitting on the edge of Robert’s side of the bed, trying to rouse him from sleep and not being very successful.

“Robert,” he said, loudly, and gave him a light shake.

Robert groaned and pressed his face into his pillow, curling up tighter in a ball.

“ _Robert_ ,” Aaron repeated, a half-shout, and Robert jerked awake. He lit the candle quickly and thrust it close to his face. “Happy birthday. Blow.”

“Steady,” Robert mumbled, rubbing at his eyes. As his fingers slipped from his eyes, he frowned. “What?”

“Blow it out!” Aaron said with a huff. “I’m not singing.”

Robert kept frowning, but dragged himself up a bit and blew out the candle. Aaron shoved it into his hand.

“Finally,” he said, holding back a smile. He tugged the card out from under his thigh, where it was crumbled and bent. “Happy birthday.”

Robert juggled the cupcake and the card for a moment before putting the cupcake on Aaron’s empty side. “How did you know that…” He trailed off as he opened the card, his eyebrows drawing together at the cutesy bears on the front. “How did you know that it was my birthday?”

“Vic said. I’d’ve done more, but I only found out last night. You should have told me.”

Robert shrugged and put the card on his lap. “It’s not a big deal. Just one more year to thirty now. I’m gonna be a wreck next year.” He smiled at Aaron, soft and genuine. “Thanks for this, though.”

“Weren’t anything, was it?” Hopefully this spelt good things for later, if Robert was already happy.

“It was nice to wake up to, even if you did yell at me.” He leant in and kissed Aaron, then picked up the cupcake and peeled back the paper for a bite. The thick lemon icing got on his nose and Aaron reached out and wiped it away with his finger, then licked his finger clean. “This is really good,” Robert said after he’d swallowed.

“Glad you like it. Vic’s coming round to take you into Hotten in an hour, you’d better get ready. You’re having ‘brunch’ apparently. Seems like the kind of thing you’d enjoy.”

Robert looked a bit surprised at the thought of it, but nodded anyway. “You have to work today?”

“Yep, if I’d known sooner…”

“Yeah, yeah,” Robert muttered, and kissed him again. “I’ll get a move on.”

Aaron went across to the garage and waited there until he saw Robert and Vic walk up to the bus stop and get on, Cain eyeing him irritably, then went back to the pub.

“Aaron,” Tracy called before he could get inside, “what time d’you want me round?”

“Er, well, Vic’s bringing him back at one, so twelve forty five? Come round the back.”

She smiled brightly. Aaron hoped he hadn’t made a mistake in inviting her. “See you then.”

His first stop was their bedroom. He wanted everything to be sorted by the time Robert got back, and that included his packing. Robert had moved everything out of his suitcase now, all his clothes neatly hung beside Aaron’s disarray in the closet, or neatly folded in the bottom two drawers in the dresser. Originally he’d only had one, but he had so many more clothes than Aaron and was so particular about how they were folded that Aaron had just cleared out his jumper drawer and shoved everything into the bottom of the closet.

He got the suitcase out from under the bed and flipped the lid open. He wasn’t exactly sure what to pack, though he assumed Robert would want a new outfit for everyday they were there, including five different pairs of trousers. He picked a couple of fancy pairs he remembered Robert wearing on their early dates, a plain dark brown pair, a black pair of jeans, and his favourites, worn in blue jeans that were soft everywhere from repeated use and really broken in around the arse. He picked what he thought was Robert’s favourite shirt, a violently floral thing, two plain shirts, and a couple of jumpers. He added socks, underwear, and pyjamas to that, and knew he’d get it in the neck about not having folded anything properly. Good thing the website said the hotel room came with an iron.

He went into the bathroom next and collected up Robert’s razor, electric toothbrush, and charger. Robert was obsessed with the toothbrush, spending ten minutes morning and evening just standing in front of the bathroom mirror slowly moving the whirring contraption around his mouth. The sound of it drove Aaron batty, but he had to admit, Robert did have nice teeth. 

He pulled Robert’s phone charger out from the wall and put his laptop and _that_ charger carefully in his backpack. When he was reasonably sure he was done, he took the suitcase downstairs and tucked it away by the back door, then went to the living room to put the banner up. It was a bit of an ordeal involving a kitchen chair, a huge amount of blu tack, and some sellotape.

“It’s wonky,” Mum said from the door.

Aaron looked up at it from an angle. “Looks all right to me,” he said, and got down off the chair.

“That sellotape better not take my wallpaper off.”

“It’ll be fine,” he said, not feeling overly confident about that. He put the chair back and looked at her.

“Got everything sorted?” she asked, arms over her chest, her mouth slightly pursed.

“Think so, everyone's gonna be here by one, printed out the booking reservation on the garage printer.”

“All his friends, then?” Mum said with a smirk.

“Don’t start,” he muttered. He didn’t feel great about the fact that there were so few people he could scrounge together; he had Vic, Diane, Doug (but only because he was tagging along), Val, Tracy, and Bernice, and Alicia said she’d stick her head in while she was working. He wasn’t sure Robert even liked Tracy and Bernice that much, but he seemed to be polite to them, at least. Him and Andy had come to some kind of truce, too, but Aaron didn’t reckon Robert would want to see him on his birthday. So it was looking to be a pretty rubbish affair, with just a cake and a wonky banner.

“The hotel sorted?”

He crossed his arms over his chest and chewed his lip for a moment. “Yeah, they know we’re checking in late. We’ve got a suite with a view of the sea.”

Mum’s eyebrows went up. “Can you afford that?”

He shrugged. “I found a deal on that, er, Groupon site? And it’s the low season, guess it’ll probably rain all week. Should’ve chosen somewhere nicer than bloody Blackpool.”

Mum’s face softened. “You always loved going to the seaside. He’s going to love it too, don’t worry.”

“Yeah, I hope so,” he muttered.

At twelve thirty he got a text from Vic saying they’d be back in twenty five minutes, and at twelve forty five the so-called party goers arrived. His decorating efforts got a couple of funny looks. He got the cake from the pub kitchen and brought it in. Vic had done a great job on it – it looked well lush with a fancy ‘29’ written on it.

Five to one rolled around, then one, then five past.

“You sure Vic said one, pet?” Diane asked.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” he said, tapping his feet on the floor where he was perched on the settee armrest.

“Maybe the bus got held up?” Tracy suggested. “Rubbish service around here.”

“That’ll be it, then,” Diane said, as there was a light tap at the door.

“Only me,” Vic called softly as she opened the door. Aaron spread his palms in question and she huffed. “He only went and started his shift, didn’t he? Thought he’d at least pop back first, but no. I don’t how to get him back here without making him suspicious. He definitely doesn’t suspect anything yet.”

Aaron got up and stuck his head out the door. Robert wasn’t exactly the most diligent employee, so he hadn’t thought getting him to come to the back would be much of a problem.

“Mum,” he whispered as she passed by on the way to the cellar. “Mum!”

“What?”

He gestured to the front of the pub. “Get Robert to come back here.”

She rolled her eyes. “Why me?”

“Because he’ll never think you’re doing something nice for him.”

“Charming,” she sighed, but came to the door at his urging. Him and Vic hurried back inside and got ready. “Robert!” she yelled, then really dialled up the volume. “ _Robert_! Get back here!”

“What?” he called back. “I’m serving!”

Trust Robert to be stubborn at the worst possible time.

“I’m not asking you,” she shouted back. After a couple of seconds, Aaron heard Robert’s angry muttering. She was half in, half out of the doorway, and she gestured inside as his footsteps approached. “Get in there.”

“ _What_?” he said, as he stepped inside. Mum closed the door behind him and everyone shouted ‘happy birthday’ at slightly different times. He blinked at the noisy welcome and frowned up at the banner. “Oh, er…”

“Happy birthday,” Aaron repeated.

“I thought you didn’t know?”

“Vic told me five days ago, so… yeah, sorry for the crap banner.” He took the reservation printout out of his pocket and handed it over. Robert took it with a frown and unfolded the paper. “This is your present. I know it’s naff to go to Blackpool, but--”

Robert stared at the page for a moment, then blinked. “No, it’s great. It’s great, I love it. But… I’ve got shifts this week.”

“No, you don’t, love,” Diane said, “we cleared your schedule for you, and Alicia’s taken over from you at the bar.”

He glanced back over his shoulder. “I wondered why she was spending her day off in the pub…” 

“I tried Butlins Bognor, but they were fully booked.”

Robert clicked his tongue. “Shut up,” he muttered fondly.

“Butlins?” Vic repeated.

“Mum took me there once when I was a kid,” Robert said. “You too, actually, since she was pregnant with you at the time.”

Vic smiled widely. “Aw! I’m going to dig through our albums, bet I can find a picture of that somewhere.”

Robert groaned softly and looked back at the reservation. “I guess this means I need to go pack.”

“Already done,” Aaron said, and grinned when Robert frowned at him again. His face was going to stick that way if he wasn’t careful. 

“Did you pack my toothbrush?”

“Yep, in its travel case and all.”

“And the charger?” he asked. Aaron nodded in reply. “And my phone charger?”

“I packed all twenty of your chargers, and your favourite shirt. Do you trust me?”

Robert looked thoughtful for a moment and Aaron gave him a light smack. “Yes! Yeah, I trust you.”

“All right,” Aaron said, and Robert drew him in for a quick kiss. 

Vic awwed in the background, then piped up, “Oh, let’s get a picture!” 

She had her phone out before they could argue and held it up. “Smile!” she demanded, and Aaron did, sort of. She sighed at him, but didn’t get on his case about it. “Say cheese!” she said, and Robert turned and kissed Aaron’s cheek just as the flash went off.

They got into the car at four, the cake long demolished and all presents opened. Rob had fiddled with Vic’s watch for a good ten minutes in the pub, and started on it again as they got onto Hotten Road.

“No guesses which present is your favourite, then,” Aaron said.

Robert dropped his hands to his lap. “Your trip, of course.”

“You haven’t even seen the place yet.”

“I’ll love it,” Robert said.

“If I’d had some _warning_ , we could be jetting off to Ibiza now.”

Robert slumped down in his seat and rolled his eyes. “Must’ve been fate, then. But I know I’ll love it, because your mum won’t be there, and neither will my sister, my stepmother, and the fruit-and-veg man himself, Doug.”

Aaron laughed and checked his mirrors. “We’ve got our own living room and all.”

“I saw that. It looks great, Aaron, really. Thanks for doing this.”

Aaron smiled, keeping his eyes on the road. “It’ll be nice to get away.”

“Yeah,” Robert said softly.

-

They arrived in Blackpool around six, and a guy came out with a trolley to take their bags. It looked a bit silly, Robert’s suitcase and Aaron’s scuzzy backpack the only two items on the whole trolley, but the man nodded politely and whisked them away.

“You’ll have to tip him when he comes up,” Robert murmured.

“I know that,” Aaron muttered back, though he hadn’t.

They checked in and went up to the room, a couple of floors from the top. Aaron tipped the porter a couple of quid and looked over the room as Robert checked out the view. It was a pretty nice place, overly fancy in a way that made Aaron cringe a little, but nice and big, and even had satellite TV. There were closed shutters by the bed and when he opened them, he found the bathroom with a huge bath and separate shower.

“You can watch telly while you’re in the bath,” he said with a laugh.

Robert came up behind him and slipped his arms around Aaron’s middle. “All this place needs is a mirror on the ceiling to complete porno aesthetic.”

“It’s a jacuzzi,” Aaron said, pointing out the jets on the side of the bathtub. 

“Get legionnaires that way,” Robert murmured close to his ear, his chin hooked over Aaron’s shoulder.

“What exactly is legionnaires?” 

“Dunno, just what people say about jacuzzis.”

Aaron turned around in the circle of Robert’s arms and closed his hands loosely around Robert’s biceps. “You do like it, though, don’t you?”

Robert’s eyebrows jumped up. “Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, I’m just being a prick. I love it.”

Aaron leant in and kissed him quickly, then gestured to the sprawling bed. “We haven’t checked out the most important part yet.”

-

“Does this remind you of anything?” Robert said later, an empty plate lying on his chest, the sheets twisted around his legs, every other part of his lean body on show, his arms stretched over his head to help matters. His hair had grown out a bit again and was well messy after their tumble in bed. Aaron had been a bit embarrassed answering the door to room service after, though he didn’t look half as debauched as Robert.

He smiled up at the ceiling. “I enjoyed it, you know. All them hotels. It was… exciting, I guess.”

“Yeah, I used to feel that way too,” Robert said, a lazy smile on his face. They’d ordered a bottle of wine, because Robert liked the stuff, and Aaron knew it went straight to his head. “I watched all those old black and white movies about people staying in hotels as a kid, loved the idea of it. Felt dead glamorous at first when my clients used to take me to them all, but the shine wears off eventually.”

“You like it here, though, don’t you?” Aaron asked, cringing at the hint of worry in his voice.

“Course,” Robert said, and took Aaron’s hand, lacing their fingers together. “I’m with you.” He paused for a second, his gaze far away before he blinked and looked at Aaron. “What made you text me again? You know, after the first time?”

Aaron shrugged. “Dunno,” he said. He felt a bit embarrassed, which was mad considering they were lying naked in bed together and he knew he had at least a little dried come on his stomach. “Just couldn't stop thinking about you.”

“It _was_ a good kiss,” Robert said with a smile. “I knew right off, you know. I knew you were something else.”

“Yeah?” Aaron murmured, and Robert pulled at their entwined hands, drawing him closer. “You were pretty narked at me for bailing the first time, though.”

“Only ‘cause I wanted you.” Robert sighed. “First time in ages I’d actually wanted it. You know, I know that people make out like I’m some kind of nympho, but if I was, being on the game cured me of it. Sex stops being exciting when you do it for a living. Most of my clientèle were thirty, forty years older than me, and I’m not into OAP sex. Just had to wait until it was over, collect my winnings, but you--” He looked at Aaron the way only Robert could, like the rest of the world had fallen away and only Aaron was left. “The way you felt under my hands, the way you touched me...” He ran his tongue over his bottom lip and Aaron was gone.

“Come ‘ere,” he said, pulling Robert into him, the plate on Robert’s chest tipping over and falling between them. He slid his free hand into Robert’s hair as they kissed, squeezing Robert’s fingers with the other. Robert stroked his side, threw one leg over Aaron’s, and they kissed until they were both breathless. “I knew right off as well,” Aaron said softly when they broke apart. “I wouldn’t have texted you again if I hadn’t. I don’t really do casual.”

Robert snorted and slipped his hand around to splay out on the small of Aaron’s back. “I could tell.”

-

They managed to get out by eleven the next day. It was cloudy out, but there was some sun and no rain forecast. Aaron pulled a few crumpled pieces of paper out of his back pocket and smoothed them out.

“You’ve got us an itinerary?” Robert said with a laugh, peering over his shoulder.

He shrugged. “Just ideas, wanted to make sure I knew what stuff was open in April.”

Robert laughed again. “You know, if you joined us in the twenty first century and got a smartphone, you wouldn’t need to waste paper.”

Aaron shoved them back in his pocket and looked away. “It was only an idea,” he muttered.

There was a brief pause before Robert put his arm around him. “Hey, I was only taking the piss,” he said, pressing a kiss to Aaron’s temple. “It’s nice, show me your plan.”

“It’s not a plan,” Aaron said, as Robert pulled back and took his hand. There was a gaggle of kids and some harried parents checking in at reception as him and Robert passed, and he felt a moment of anxiety, but the mum just smiled at him briefly before turning away. He took the papers back out. “I thought we could start with the Dungeon?”

-

Robert went ahead of him out of the tower as Aaron paused to tie his shoelace. Robert was at the edge of the pavement when Aaron caught up with him, and he couldn’t resist slapping his hands on Robert’s shoulders and whisper-shouting ‘hey’ in his ear. Robert practically pitched into the traffic with fright but for Aaron grabbing him around the middle and tugging him back.

“Don’t do that!” Robert yelped, twisting around in Aaron’s grip so they were chest to chest.

“If I’d known you were so jumpy, I wouldn’t have suggested the Dungeon.”

“I didn’t realise there’d be a bloody drama school reject jumping out from every corner, did I?” Robert said, sounding outraged. “It’s completely reasonable to not like being sneaked up on.”

Aaron nodded seriously. “Completely. And screaming on the drop ride was dead normal too.”

“Other people screamed! It was recreating being hanged, it weren’t a teacup ride! Just ‘cause you’re the Ross Kemp of the north…” He was smiling now, and Aaron grinned back and kissed him quickly. “Can we do something a bit more… relaxed, please?”

“Get something to eat and go to the beach?” Aaron suggested. It wasn’t even one yet and Robert had already almost shit himself on that ride. Had to go easy on the old man.

After pizza on the promenade, they went to the beach. Aaron got his shoes and socks off and dug his toes into the damp, tightly packed sand, while Robert complained.

“Brass monkeys out here,” Robert said, and wrapped his arms around himself. “Didn’t see you as the seaside type.”

“Because I’m such a hard man?” Aaron said, and drew an ‘A’ in the sand with his big toe.

“Nah, because you’re a miserable bastard.”

“There’s only one person being miserable today, mate, and it ain’t me.”

Robert stepped closer. “I’m not your mate,” he said, and kissed him soundly. There weren’t many people about on the beach, so Aaron indulged it for a minute, deepening the kiss with a hand firmly around the back of Robert’s head. When they pulled apart, Robert pressed a final kiss slightly off centre of his mouth that made his knees feel a little weak. “Get us something to drink,” he said.

“Right now?” Aaron said.

Robert gestured to a guy on the edge of the beach with a food trolley. “Just a Coke or something. It’s my birthday.”

“Yesterday was your birthday.”

“It still counts,” Robert said.

“Fine,” Aaron said with a sigh. “Watch my shoes.”

“Don’t worry, no one’d steal those things,” Robert said, nodded to the scuffed trainers. He wasn’t wrong, but Aaron still felt that he should be offended. 

He traipsed off across the beach and got two cans of Coke from the grumpy vendor. Should’ve been glad there was anyone at all out to buy stuff from him in this weather. When he came back, Robert was looking inordinately pleased with himself and Aaron’s eyes fell to the sand, where Robert had added ‘+ R’ and drawn a heart around it.

“You soppy git,” he said, and tossed the can to him.

“Our love immortalised forever,” Robert said, “or until the tide comes in.”

Aaron flushed at that – ‘our love’ – and took a breath. “Be better off immortalising it back at the hotel.”

“No arguments from me,” Robert said.

-

There was a reason that Aaron had chosen to book a hotel and not a B&B or even one of those Airbnb places, since he’d been feeling techy at the time with his online discounts, and that reason was moaning under his hands right now. Aaron had always found being loud during sex embarrassing, like he was showing off, but Robert was a show off and when he bottomed he was _loud_ , given half the chance. At home, Aaron had tightened all the screws in the bed frame and pulled the whole thing out a couple of inches from the wall to reduce the noise, and Robert was under strict instructions to keep it buttoned, but here he could go to town. Which he was.

“Aaron, Aaron,” he moaned, his long legs tightening around Aaron’s waist. “Ah, ah, faster.”

Aaron didn’t react immediately and Robert tried to draw him closer with his tensed legs, but stopped when Aaron squeezed his thigh tightly.

“Come on,” Robert breathed, lifting his head slightly before dropping back with a groan. Aaron rolled forward again in one smooth, agonising movement, and Robert arched up into it, his slack hands twitching. Aaron gripped his hip hard and moved faster, pulling out and snapping forward in time with Robert’s gasps and groans. “Fuck,” Robert bit out in a sigh, “ _yeah_ , yeah, harder.”

Aaron tipped forward and went harder, faster, until Robert was being jerked upwards with each thrust, letting out little grunts and moans as he did. He seemed painfully hard, pre-come leaking down the length of him onto his stomach, but he kept his hands spread against the sheets, didn’t even try to touch himself. Sweat ran in rivulets down Aaron’s spine, his skin hot but clammy in places where the sweat had cooled – it seemed like Robert could do this for hours, but Aaron’s limbs were growing heavy and sore and his stamina was stretched thin. He placed his hands flat on the mattress either side of Robert and pressed in, kissing up his chest as he slowed the movement of his hips. Robert ground his hips up in response, his breath hitching in his throat and escaping in short bursts.

Aaron let some of his weight settle on Robert, just enough to hold Robert steady while still pressed deep inside of him. Robert opened his eyes and looked up at him as Aaron worked his hand between them and started jerking him off. Robert’s eyelashes fluttered and his eyes rolled upwards as he shut them again. His legs tightened around Aaron’s waist as Aaron brought him closer and closer to orgasm, until he was spilling hot and thick between their stomachs. 

Aaron thrust a few more times, Robert making high-pitched little sounds with each sluggish movement, until he was coming too, shuddering with relief. He slipped down, his arms growing slack, and curled over Robert, touching his forehead to Robert’s chest. Robert breathed in a deep and steady rhythm, dropping his hand heavily to the back of Aaron’s head.

“Good?” he mumbled.

Aaron turned his head, rubbing his stubble against Robert’s bare skin. Robert shuddered a little. “Yeah, good,” he replied.

-

The morning was lost to them the next day, both stiff and sluggish, though neither was complaining. They got room service for breakfast and dinner and watched the news and _Top Gear_ in bed, in between a long turn in the roomy shower. Robert got bored around five and started rummaging in Aaron’s bag, long enough to distract him from Clarkson.

“What’re you looking for?”

“Your itinerary.”

Aaron muted the telly. “It’s not an itinerary,” he argued, “it’s just a list of places.”

Robert retrieved it from an inside pocket with a grin and smoothed it out while Aaron sighed. “A casino?” he said after a moment spent scanning the page.

Aaron shrugged. “I always wanted to go to Las Vegas, next best thing.”

“I went to New York once,” Robert said, “it was well good. Let’s go to the casino.”

“Yeah?”

Robert nodded, already getting up off the bed. “Put our gladrags on, pretend like it’s Vegas, it’ll be fun.”

Aaron grinned back. “Okay.”

He didn’t really have clothes that were appropriately classy, so a black t-shirt and jeans had to suffice. He tried on a few of Robert’s jackets, but all of them were so bloody fitted that he risked ripping the seams if he crossed his arms.

“It’s all that manual work you do,” Robert said, and squeezed one of his biceps. “Not that I’m complaining.”

They were at the casino by six, looking a bit better turned out than most of the other people there. To be fair, there weren’t that many people there to begin with, it being April in Blackpool and that. He could see women checking Robert out as they walked through the spongy carpeted main room, but then people always did look at Robert like that; he drew attention to himself just by breathing. Aaron swallowed it down as Robert took him by the hand and dragged him over to the slot machines. They came away from it five pounds down a little while later and spent long enough at the bar that Robert thought it would be a good idea to have a go at the blackjack. Apparently he’d played illicit games of blackjack at Hotten Comprehensive for cigarettes and won.

They weren’t playing fourteen year olds for cigarettes here, though, and he lost everything he bet in short order.

“That was everything I had in my wallet,” he said with a pout.

“Not much then,” Aaron said, and threw his arm around him. “C’mon, let’s get something to eat.”

He treated the both of them to a slap up tea at the casino restaurant and fair few more pints of beer. Robert blushed when he was tipsy, his cheeks coming over all rosy, especially now his tan had faded; Aaron found himself thinking that it was cute, a quality he’d rarely found interesting in men before. Robert’s attention wandered while they ate, specifically to a very well-dressed woman who took a seat at the bar when they were halfway through their food. He looked back at Aaron every time Aaron spoke, but still, his attention wandered back to her. Aaron drained his beer and held his tongue until he couldn’t stand it any more.

“Robert,” he said sharply.

Robert looked back at him with a smile. “Hey.”

“What’s, er, what’s with the woman?”

“What?” Robert said, and glanced back over to her. “Oh, she’s waiting for her client.”

“You think she’s…?” Aaron murmured, as an older, obviously not in her league, guy came up beside her and laid his hand on the small of her back, practically her arse. He whispered something in her ear and the two of them left together. “Oh.”

“It was obvious. Usually is with female escorts – men not as much. I mean, I didn’t turn up at sleazy bars in slinky dresses for my clients. Not on a first date, anyway.”

Aaron smiled a little and Robert frowned.

“You didn’t think I was…?”

Aaron shrugged.

“I wasn’t,” Robert said, his voice sober and unwavering. He reached across the table and wrapped his hand around Aaron’s. “I’m here with you. Only you.”

Aaron took a breath and nodded. “Yeah,” he said, “I know.”

They had a couple of beers more and dessert before Aaron paid the bill and they headed back out onto the casino floor. Aaron was fairly resolved to end the night there, leave off the gambling since Robert was drunk and he was still feeling a little out of sorts, but Robert was moving slowly and somehow they found themselves watching a roulette game. No one won and there were grumbles all around as the croupier cleared the table.

“Place your bets,” she said as they started up again.

Robert nudged him. “You should put something on it.”

“Eh?”

“You’ve got some chips left, haven’t you?”

Aaron dug into his pocket and pulled out a handful of chips. They were worth a fiver each and he had three left. Robert nudged him again.

“Go on, you’re the one who wanted to go to Las Vegas. Live a little!” He grinned cheerfully when Aaron turned and looked at him.

Aaron glanced out at the number grid and closed his fingers around the chips, then leant forward and placed all three squarely on the number ten.

“All bets,” the croupier called a minute later, the wheel already spinning. Aaron bit his lip as they all watched the ball bouncing around the wheel more and more slowly. Around them he heard the other players muttering under their breath, urging the ball on. Finally it stopped and the croupier took a moment to look at the wheel. “Ten,” she called. Robert sucked a breath in beside him.

Aaron jolted. “I won?”

She nodded once and set out five stacks of chips in front of him on the table. Robert slapped him on the back, then draped his arm over Aaron’s shoulders.

“Er, how much?”

“£540,” she said. That would pay for almost the entire trip.

“We should go bet on something else,” Robert piped up, but Aaron shook his head and gathered up the chips.

“No way, quit while we’re ahead.”

“So responsible,” Robert said, shuffling closer and nudging Aaron’s arm with his chest. “Bit of a turn on, really.”

“Get on with you,” he said with a tut and gave Robert a push to get them moving. “Let’s cash this in before security get on us like they do in the films.”

-

They had one full day left and Aaron wanted to make the most of it. They went out for breakfast at a poncy café near the beach that he knew Robert would love, then to an art gallery that Aaron forced himself through with a smile. He didn’t get what the big deal was with splatters of paint and funny-shaped sculptures, but Robert seemed happy and the place had an all right café to stop off at and get a bite afterwards ( _not_ brunch, despite Robert’s assertions).

“Fish and chips for lunch?” Robert said, when they finally left the gallery and the sea was stretching out for miles in front of them.

Aaron resisted the urge to flinch. “Nah,” he said, “don’t like fish and chips.”

“Really?” Robert said with a soft laugh. “So I haven’t seen you scoff a large helping McDonald’s chips in five minutes flat?”

Aaron shrugged and forced his tone to remain nonchalant. “I like chips, I don’t like fish. Not, er, breaded with vinegar and that, anyway.”

A brief thoughtful look passed over Robert’s face before his attention was diverted by a car beeping angrily nearby. Aaron let out a breath and suggested a sandwich place before Robert picked up the thread again. He thought he got away with it, since Robert didn’t comment on the strange behaviour.

For their last night, he wanted to do something a bit different to the groove – or rut – they’d fallen into at home. Going out to a flash bar was more Robert’s speed, he thought, and Robert seemed up for it, though he didn’t seem to be able to resist taking the piss a little.

“I didn’t really see you as the gay bar type,” he said as he fussed with his hair in front of a mirror, styling it just right with his expensive hair gel.

“What, because I’m such a hard man?”

“Nah, just a miserable bastard,” Robert said, and squeaked when Aaron smacked him across the back with a pillow. He peered at his hair and clicked his tongue. “Gonna have to start over now.”

Aaron rolled his eyes. He’d been ready for half an hour already, in his best black jumper and jeans, while Robert faffed about with his hair and his shirts. Aaron couldn’t deny that he looked good, though, in those jeans that were Aaron’s favourite and the least floral of his floral shirts.

“I guess I just feel comfortable in gay bars,” he said. “Only place outside the village where people don’t assume I’m straight.”

“Mm,” Robert hummed, and turned away from the mirror, his hair parted to one side and spiky at the front. “Doesn’t matter where I go, no one ever assumes I’m bi.”

“Do you not wanna go?”

Robert shook his head. “I was just saying. I want to go, relive my youth.” He stepped closer and took Aaron’s hands, pulling him up from where he was sitting on the bed. “Anyway, I’ve tarted myself up now, so we have to go.”

The place was pretty nice, similar to Bar West, but a lot bigger. Downstairs was a pretty normal club, but upstairs was gay men only and Aaron eyed the sign with a little concern.

“We can stay down here,” he said, when he caught Robert looking in the same direction.

“Don’t be stupid,” Robert said, and threaded his arm through Aaron’s. “They haven’t got sniffer dogs up there to ferret out the bis.”

“I didn’t mean--” Aaron started, but Robert stopped him with a kiss.

“I know what you meant,” he said, and gestured for them to go up.

It was darker upstairs and already crowded, so it took a few minutes to fight their way to the bar and order drinks. Aaron got a lager and Robert a cocktail with a lime wedge and little umbrella.

“I’m blending in,” he said between sips and Aaron rolled his eyes.

“Couple of those in you, you’ll be on the floor.”

“Get us some food, then,” Robert said. He was leaning against the bar, elbows on top, and Aaron could see guys around them giving him the once and twice over, the lean lines of Robert’s body on display in his tailored shirt and slim jeans. Aaron could imagine how often Robert had been in a place just like this, waiting for a client or picking up some quick cash, how putting himself on show must have been second nature.

“So, the food?” Robert repeated, shaking Aaron from his thoughts.

They managed to get themselves a table squeezed into the corner and demolished a couple of burgers. Robert had a second cocktail and was making eyes at the dance floor.

“Forget it,” Aaron said firmly.

Robert huffed. “I didn’t say anything!”

“You were gonna.”

Robert sighed and hunched over what was left of his chips. “You like gay bars but won’t dance in one?”

“I don’t dance at all.”

“So, you’re just here for the atmosphere, then?” Robert said, his eyebrow raised. Aaron knew he was only taking the piss, but it still stung a little.

“I met Jackson at Bar West, if I’d never gone, I might never have…” He trailed off with a shrug and Robert nodded. “You ever been?”

“Where?”

“Bar West, in Hotten.”

Robert shook his head. “Too scared back then, wasn’t I? Would’ve been terrified of running into Paul or something.”

“Paul?”

“Val’s son. He was the first gay guy I ever met. I tried to stay away from him – he probably thought I was some horrible homophobe – because the thought of him just terrified me. I felt sick when I saw him around the village with his boyfriends.” He shook his head and drained the last of his cocktail. “Of course, my dad was perfectly civil to him; friendly, even, but with me… Different when it’s your own son, I guess.”

Aaron cringed, thinking about how easy everyone had been about it when he came out – he was his only obstacle, everyone else accepted it without question. “I wish it could have been easier for you,” he said.

Robert shrugged. “It was a different time. Sounds funny to say, since it wasn’t that long ago, but it’s true. Probably if he was alive now he’d be okay with it, learn to live with it, at least. Wish I’d known that at fifteen.”

Aaron reached across the table and took his hand. “I love you,” he said, and smiled. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Robert replied with a smile of his own.

They abandoned their table a while after eating and went back to the bar to order more drinks. Robert was a bit tipsy, but the greasy food had absorbed a lot of it, and he went for a much more conservative pint of bitter for the next round.

“I’ll be back in a minute,” he yelled over the music when they were almost finished drinking, and pointed to the toilets. Aaron watched him weave his way a little unsteadily to the bogs and returned to his pint with a laugh.

“Can I get you a drink?” a voice asked a couple of minutes later, followed by a tap on his shoulder. Aaron turned on his stool to face the guy. On first glance, he was all right looking, dark hair, thickly built across the shoulders and chest, wearing a tight white t-shirt to show everything off. He had some dodgy teeth, though, and no subtlety at all.

Aaron lifted his drink. “Got one.”

“I’ll get you another one, then,” he said, and called out to the barman, “another of whatever he’s having,” before Aaron could respond.

“I haven’t seen you around here before,” the guy said, “I’d remember.”

Aaron snorted. “Yeah, I bet. You welcome all the new faces like this?”

“Just the ones who look like they need it.” He looked Aaron up and down. “Can’t have a guy like you sitting here drinking alone, can we?”

“He’s not alone,” Robert said, his chest hitting Aaron’s back. Aaron glanced around as Robert snaked an arm possessively around his waist. “On your bike.”

The guy looked at Aaron, who shrugged with a smile, then back at Robert. “Sorry, mate, didn’t mean anything by it.”

“Good, then piss off.”

The guy took a step away, but dithered, still looking at Robert. “Have we met before?”

“No,” Robert said.

“You sure? You look familiar.”

“I just have one of those faces,” Robert said, his voice dripping with disdain. “Go away.”

The guy gave him one more long look, then walked away. Aaron twisted in his seat towards Robert and Robert dragged the nearby stool over and sat down. 

“Too much?” Robert asked.

Aaron shook his head and pressed in close to kiss him. “Just right.”

Robert smiled against his cheek as they pulled apart and settled back. “As if you’d be interested in a prick like that.”

“Yeah,” Aaron said, as the barman put the drink down in front of him. “Got a free drink out of it, though.” 

Robert laughed and picked up his own drink. He didn’t seem concerned about it all, other than the mild outrage at the guy thinking he was in with a chance. 

Aaron glanced back at the crowd that had swallowed the guy up. “Did you know him?” he asked, taking a quick breath. “It’s okay if you did.”

Robert frowned. “No,” he said slowly. “You mean… was he a client?”

Aaron shrugged.

“No, I’d remember those teeth,” Robert said lightly, and Aaron smiled a little. “I’m not lying to you.”

Aaron nodded quickly. “Yeah, sorry, I just--”

“It’s okay,” Robert said. “Buy me another drink with an umbrella, call us even.”

Robert had another two while they sat at the bar and watched the world go by, and he was well and truly sloshed. They’d had a few guys approach them, sometimes chancing their luck with with one of them as if the other wasn’t there, sometimes proposing casual threesomes. Only the scuzziest guys used threesomes as an opening line, Robert told him sagely. He’d had one steadfast admirer for a while, though, a guy across the bar watching them for almost an hour. Aaron lost sight of him a few times, but he always popped back up in his shadowy corner. He was young and slim, but that was about all Aaron could make out. The thought of him spending so long contemplating Robert really got his hackles up, but he managed to keep a lid on it this time.

He leant in to Robert and cupped his hand over Robert’s ear. “Get your coat, you’ve pulled,” he murmured. Okay, so the lid wasn’t fully closed.

“Huh?” Robert said.

“That guy over there, he’s been giving you the eye for a while now.”

Robert turned to where Aaron had gestured with a raise of his chin, but by then the guy had hurried off. “Which guy?” Robert asked.

“Doesn’t matter,” he said, and hopped off his stool. Robert looked back at him and he took Robert’s hands and pulled him up. “I reckon we should spend the rest of our last night getting hot and sweaty in our hotel room instead of out here in the club. What do you think?”

Robert smiled lazily. “Good idea.”

-

It was slow going leaving the hotel the next morning, a combination of not enough sleep, hangovers, and – at least on Aaron’s part – wanting to stay in their little bubble of the seaside, porno bathrooms, and as much time alone as they wanted. 

Robert didn’t make much effort, just threw on the same jeans as the night before and Aaron’s black jumper, which looked strangely large on him because of his love of slim fitting clothes. Aaron had never seen him look so relaxed, as he rubbed at his face and drank a cup of coffee, his phone on the table in front of him. Even before real life hit them in the face, Robert had always held himself together, put a good face on – that was his whole job, after all. Aaron didn’t think he let many people see him looking this sloppy.

They got out of their room by ten forty five, after Robert had checked it over at least three times for anything forgotten, and were in the car by eleven thirty, after a quick trip to a café for an assortment of pastries. Robert lunged for the radio as soon as Aaron started the engine and put on some godawful poppy club music. Aaron sighed and pulled out onto the road and Robert grinned triumphantly.

The hour and a half drive was uneventful and they talked about nothing as they skimmed the edge of the Bowland Fells and hit the Dales again.

“It is beautiful around here,” Robert said, looking out his window. “Guess I missed that a bit in Manchester. And London, definitely in London.”

“Yeah?” Aaron said, and Robert nodded, though his gaze was still far away. It was beautiful here and Aaron had grown used to it enough that he didn’t really see himself going too far. He’d been resigned to it once, that there was nothing better in the world for him, that he may as well stay stuck in the shit, but it wasn’t like that now – he was content, and that had been a long time coming.

He wondered if Robert could really be content with their life in the same way.

A road sign loomed large in front of them, _Hotten 10, Emmerdale 17_. Wouldn’t be long until they were home now and Aaron wished he could add a few dozen miles more to the journey. 

“I really enjoyed Blackpool,” Robert added.

“Even though it wasn’t some flash trip abroad in the sun?”

Robert shook his head and looked at Aaron. “It was exactly what we needed.”

“Yeah,” Aaron agreed.

“I think we could put it on top of the list of potential places to move to when we’re fabulously wealthy,” Robert said with a smile.

Aaron grinned back. “Yeah.”


End file.
